LGBTQ+

I am sorry you are struggling with this. There's nothing wrong with keeping yourself safe by not coming out, but that doesn't do anything for the feeling of being trapped.

I'm not you, but i hope that you're able to find some space where you are able to be yourself, perhaps a friend group or an online support group?

Being alone and feeling abandoned by a partner is such a terrible feeling. Perhaps, since it all feels spiralling anyway, asking him bluntly for clarification, if you think he's gone it'll at least give you answers maybe?

There's not a magical set of words that will work for you, so throw away anything i have said that doesn't work. Most of all i wanted you to know people saw you and care you are in pain, even if they are just text on a screen. 💙

I'm worried for your mental welbeing. You are here. You are still seeking connection. That's good. But your surroundings and the people you count on are not the best, probably not even good enough.

You will benefit from having more perspective and from finding out what your specific needs are. The goal is to focus on yourself. Perspective is learning about the experience of other people and try to apply that to your life. Finding out your needs helps to understand what makes you move and the direction you go.

For example: You say the person that left you was your world. I believe you. The world may seem very large, but our reach might be very short, even limited to our own selves. What does that person have that fulfill you? How can you get that without them?

I don't know you, so I don't have the right words. Like the others here, I wish you well and hope you can get to a tomorrow in which you are happy.

• Something to think about: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZohcMJrvGs
• Something from someone that always cheer me up: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UT4PRHQZcgQ

I don't know how tolerant your parents actually are, but I would advise caution here. You're still a dependent on them and they could potentially try to (in worse case) kick you out of the home or (less worse case but still bad) force you to go to some conversion therapy where they try to make you straight, which is ridiculous and harmful.

As a dependent, they also hold all of the financial levers. They could withhold support if you want to go to college. They could not help you get a car. They could try to coerce you in other ways (my house, my rules).

As much as it pains me to say it, it is best to stay in the closet for a few years until you are financially self-sufficient, whether that is through a job of your own or through a scholarship to college.

For your relationship with your boyfriend, I can't add much more to the advice others here have given, but it's ok to recognize the sucky feeling. It'll get better with time regardless of the ultimate outcome.

My suggestion is don't unless you are ready to live by yourself. There is very little upside and a lot of downsides. Not sure how old are you but using university as an excuse to move out is something you might consider.

I'm so sorry hon, I totally feel you. It's really hard having to deal with family, people you get told are gonna stick by you no matter what, just for them to turn out to be the most judgey assholes you can find.

Just know that there are plenty of people in the world who love you for who you are, and I hope you're able to find your people eventually. Everything may be going to shit now, but there's always gonna be something to fight for in the end.

You've made it this far, you're so much stronger than you may feel, and I'm proud of you for sticking it out. You got this <3

It’s always a huge adjustment when coming out to very close loved ones. I mean, even if you don’t exactly consider yourself close to them there is still that unspoken bond you have. And it is incredibly intimidating to think “how will they react? What are they going to think of me? Treat me?”

If you’re not sure about it but trust your siblings, you can try asking them how they feel your parents might react.

Speaking from experience… do not ever let someone force you to come out before you’re ready. Unless it’s 100% your choice to want to do this, ignore anyone who says otherwise. It’s your truth and your feelings. They have no business in it.

I was young, dumb, and fell for the “I don’t want us to be a secret any more” peer pressure. Regardless of your partners feelings, this is your battle to fight.

Just keep going. It’ll work itself out when the time is right. When we that may be.

I'd agree with the others here. Me coming out, while living on my own, with similar parents, was still an issue at 36. I feel like the connection with your boyfriend is feeling so raw is it gave you a sense of escapefrome where you are currently, no?