this post was submitted on 03 Jul 2023
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I dont know what happened to me. At first he just started texting less and then he just sent these 3 texts
. "I almost got or kidnapped idk sorry" "I don't feel too well " I don't want to do this anymore'
He was pretty depressed and I don't know what happened. Idk if he just left or if he got hurt. He was everything to me. Its been a month now. I've been begging for answers. I'm worried he might have killed himself. Only reason I haven't killed myself is the hope that he would return. Now I'm not so sure. He was everything to me
That's really hard, especially when it sounds like he was a lot of your life focus. I would be as worried as you, it sounds like you arent able to get any answers at the moment.
To protect yourself, could he have ghosted you in this way to make it easier on himself? Had he ever been conflict avoidant? It's shitty, but i hear a lot of younger people, without respect to the pain they are causing, flaking out in such a manner.
It may be important that you see if you can find some friends, someone to support you but who you're not so dependent on. It's a horrible feeling to have our stability dependent on someone else when sadly humans can be such flawed and weak creatures.
It's so important you find something inside yourself for you. I have been depressed a long time, (not nearly been put in the situation you have been with a partner) and for me i settled on a weird philosophy that i didn't choose my birth, but (i am not religious or spiritual) if i go too soon, ill never have a chance to know or experience anything when i die. For me ive settled on leaving when it happens, and trying to get through each day one day at a time.
It's unlikely that'll work for you, too, cause it's such a personal thing to figure out. Im guessing your parents wouldn't get you a therapist just for you to talk shit out?
He was slightly conflicted about our age gap but he did pull something like this before. Just to a lesser extent. He promised me he wouldn't do it again. I'm scared. We only talked for a month but in that time he was all I lived for. He was everything to me. He still is everything to me
It doesn't sound like he returns your adoration and love with respect and care like he should. Age gap, is he older? That sucks that he was able to wrap himself in you and then has shown you now twice he doesn't care enough to be straight with you.
Im sorry a man like that stole your heart. I hope you'll be able to see if he can't talk to you straight, what kind of partner is he really? A man like that isnt dependable enough to build a life with.
It sounds more like you don't want to be alone than that he has much good to offer you. I know your parents dont show love dependability ao you think everyone is like that, that it's to be expected and what you deserve. But real people who love you don't run and hide from bad feelings, they stand by your side when things get hard.
He doesn't sound like he was every building a life with you, just liked your affection. And don't feel the need to return it. Try not to let someone like that continue using you. The pain you feel is compounded because you know this isnt how loving people treat one another.
Yes he's older. I'm 14 he's turning 17 in august The first time it was for less than 24 hours and considering his mental health I didn't blame him. At this point we weren't in a relationship yet too. I felt safe with him. I was happy when he would talk to me. I could tell him anything.
The month or so we were talking was probably the best month of my life. I'm jistt scared he might not be safe at the moment
If he was as good as you say, he would be worried about you right now. He would have talked to you and been honest, not cryptic and confusing.
What you described can be had in a friendship. Nothing he offered that you explained is special or even showing a special connection to you. He listened and talked to you like an equal, and that feels amazing if you have never had that. But that's not really a relationship, especially not when he shows he's only good to you when his life is good and easy. Aren't you able to put yourself aside to listen to him? Would YOU ever do this to anyone you love for any reason?
probably not, cause you sound empathetic and kind. a good, kind person maybe makes one mistake. not twice, not threatening self harm. That's just textbook abuse.
I just don't know what I'm doing now. Now its over I'm far worse than before I met him. He saved me, I just wish I could return the favour. I'm sorry I keep going on about him. This just has been a lot for me to bear.I feel like I failed him
From what he told me his situation isn'tgood he told me that he had serious depression. I tried to help but I failed him. I tried to save him like he saved me but I failed
With him I was actually happy for once. I just don't know what to do. I'm still loyal to him but idk if he's coming back
Truth is, you need to be loyal to yourself hun. This guy, as great as you say he is, either doesn't care enough to be straight with you or isn't well enough to be in a relationship. You gotta focus on you, that's why you're lost without him. That's not how any relationship should be. He should make you stronger for the time you were together, not you be a mess and unable to go on. That's not a good person. That's not someone to build a future with.
He should have taken your hand and talked to you, been honest and forthright, so you both could tackle it together, at least emotionally.
His actions show he isn't as good for you as you felt. He was a drug, but he wasn't improving your mental health, he just helped get you through the day and helped you forget. That's not going to last.