this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2023
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Hello you awesome people,

Friends are having a boy and everyone they know wants to push a name on the child. So I decided to be the best friend they could have and to offer only bad, ugly or horrendous names to the lucky parents so they could have a laugh. I already send them some names and dictators, Smeagol, Steve and Juan-Esteban.

So please, people or Lemmy, give me the worst names you could give a child, so that I can help them as a good friend!

Ps: don't worry, I've already planned some meals to drop off when the gremlin will be there to feed the parents. And some take-out vouchers so they won't get food poisoning

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[–] kent_eh@lemmy.ca 89 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Robert'); DROP TABLE Students;--

[–] Spaghetti_Hitchens@kbin.social 48 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Little Bobby Tables as we call him.

[–] ryan@the.coolest.zone 85 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Bob, short for Bobert. So that every time he has to say his full name to anyone on the phone or fill out forms somewhere, he has to repeatedly explain that, no, it's not Robert, it's Bobert.

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[–] 0x2d@lemmy.ml 51 points 10 months ago (2 children)
[–] Scary_le_Poo 9 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

"Hello 911? I've just witnessed a murder."

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[–] SatanicNotMessianic@lemmy.ml 40 points 10 months ago (1 children)
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[–] OrkneyKomodo@lemmy.sdf.org 40 points 10 months ago (3 children)
[–] FlyForABeeGuy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Only if Pube is considered as it's diminutive!

[–] Spaghetti_Hitchens@kbin.social 9 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Her comes lil Pubey!

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[–] eezeebee@lemmy.ca 39 points 10 months ago (2 children)
[–] FlyForABeeGuy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

That wouldn't fly with the city clerk in Belgium. But then again, one can always try!

[–] FlyForABeeGuy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 10 months ago

Should have made a joke with "nein", but people would be Fuhrerious about it!

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[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 30 points 10 months ago (1 children)
  • Spanko
  • Twallypod
  • Roooooo
  • Meganginipple
  • Nipple
  • Craig
  • Nart
  • Puddin
  • Sue
  • Ticksy
  • Ewwgross
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[–] happyhippo@feddit.it 22 points 10 months ago
[–] LallyLuckFarm 21 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Jimothy

Tomathan

Kevincent

Jachary

Esteburt

Stanthony

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[–] Ludrol@szmer.info 21 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz

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[–] RandomVideos@programming.dev 19 points 10 months ago (1 children)
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[–] onlooker@lemmy.ml 17 points 10 months ago

Organ farm #17.

[–] deegeese@sopuli.xyz 16 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] Bizarroland@kbin.social 7 points 10 months ago

Hey that was my dad's name. Nothing wrong with being a Donald, worst case your name is a little bit dated.

[–] marketsnodsbury@lemm.ee 14 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Open a random page in any P. G. Wodehouse novel and you’re good to go! Gussie Fink-Nottle, Bingo Little, Kipper Herring, Stiffy Byng. Or, my personal fave, add in an extra letter like he did for his character Psmith, where, he explains, the “p” is silent, "as in pshrimp.”

[–] Davel23@kbin.social 13 points 10 months ago

Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern-schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dingle-dangle-dongle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz-ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyer-spelterwasser-kurstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-ein-nürnburger-bratwustle-gerspurten-mitzweimache-luber-hundsfut-gumberaber-shönendanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm. Assuming they live in Ulm. If not, adjust name accordingly.

[–] Susaga@ttrpg.network 13 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

There's a classic Japanese story about a boy called Jugemu Jugemu Gokō-no Surikire Kaijarisuigyo-no Suigyōmatsu Unraimatsu Fūraimatsu Kuunerutokoro-ni Sumutokoro Yaburakōji-no Burakōji Paipopaipo Paipo-no Shūringan Shūringan-no Gūrindai Gūrindai-no Ponpokopii-no Ponpokonā-no Chōkyūmei-no Chōsuke. That's all the first name. No nicknames allowed.

[–] tias@discuss.tchncs.de 13 points 10 months ago (4 children)

I know of someone who named her son "Scrotum".

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[–] HelixDab2@lemm.ee 12 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Any "creative" spelling of a common name.

e.g., Jahnithun.

[–] altima_neo@lemmy.zip 7 points 10 months ago

Le-a

The "-" isn't silent

[–] bermuda 12 points 10 months ago
[–] Metal_Zealot@lemmy.ml 12 points 10 months ago (1 children)
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[–] jmes 11 points 10 months ago
[–] deathfoam@infosec.pub 10 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)
  • J'nathan
  • Lester
  • Krang
  • Schawghn - pronounced Sean
  • Sponk - halfway between Spock and Spunk
  • Clippy
  • Korn
  • Hootenanny
  • Dan-The-Man - short for Danimal-The-One-And-Only-Manimal
  • Skeet
[–] zartcosgrove 10 points 10 months ago
[–] slurpeesoforion@startrek.website 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] Devi@kbin.social 7 points 10 months ago

Donon Trusk Eland Mump

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 10 points 10 months ago

Any very foreign sounding name is a great contender: Ashurbanipal, Nebuchadnezzar, Nabopolassar.

Judas is a good option, too. I think it's even illegal to name your child Judas in Germany.

Any DBZ character works. Trunks in an english speaking country would be spot on.

For a tropical real life villain, Jair Bolsonaro.

[–] pruwybn@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 10 months ago

Deuteronomy

[–] TheGalacticVoid@lemm.ee 9 points 10 months ago

Rizz

Slaydolf

[–] abclop99 9 points 10 months ago
[–] Bonehead@kbin.social 8 points 10 months ago

Anything that ends up with the initials "BJ".

[–] shiveyarbles 7 points 10 months ago

Batman bin Suparman

[–] FullOfBallooons@leminal.space 7 points 10 months ago

💩. Gotta make sure the middle name is an emoji too, none of this "he can go by his middle name if he doesn't like his first name" nonsense.

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Tikki Tikki Tembo-no Sa Rembo-chari Bari Ruchi-pip Peri Pembo

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[–] Goldenboy@lemm.ee 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)
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[–] rbesfe@lemmy.ca 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)
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[–] nfsu2@feddit.cl 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)
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[–] CJOtheReal@lemmy.sdf.org 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)
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[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 6 points 10 months ago

Based off the Jeffs I've known... Jeff.

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