This article's descriptions of how to know if you're demiromantic suffer from being too vague and not literal enough. Like, it says you may be demiromantic if love at first sight isn't a thing for you, but then it says love at first sight doesn't actually mean live at first sight. Or you may be demiromantic if you don't have "many" crushes, but how much is a normal amount?
this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2023
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I've never crushed on anyone...
I've lusted after people, but I don't really understand crushes...
That being said, I have no idea where I sit on the romantic spectrum, because I can and have been in loving relationships that I strongly value, and actively desire, yet to me, they feel like an extension of friendship. Every one of my partners has been a really close friend, and we developed that friendship in to a relationship.
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How does one know if they're demiromantic or just aromantic? I know I'm demisexual because I can sort of "simulate" having an emotional connection to an imagined fantasy, but romance doesn't have a space we're expected to intentionally simulate, and I've never experienced any sort of romance (though I haven't been close to that many people).
so i'm demisexual and i know that because 1) i can identify what sexual attraction feels like in myself and 2) i understand that my baseline for sexual attraction is different from what's considered allosexual
however, i feel like i can't really say the same for romantic attraction. i'm not sure, i think i can identify how it feels within myself. but i don't really know what's considered baseline. the question i'd really like answered is, what's an alloromantic's experience like? do they get butterflies and blushy feelings by just looking at someone? maybe i'm demiromantic as well, but it seems like a rare(r) experience among people i know than being allosexual is
another (interesting, albeit unlikely) possibility is that being demiromantic is more common than being alloromantic. again, it's unlikely, but i enjoy the thought experiment of the demi-side of the spectrum being more populated than the allo side. what if the aro side of the spectrum was more populated? it's just interesting to consider what we take for granted and how much we can assume it's true