"Girl, I named no variables after you, because you're my only Constant"
Programmer Humor
Post funny things about programming here! (Or just rant about your favourite programming language.)
Rules:
- Posts must be relevant to programming, programmers, or computer science.
- No NSFW content.
- Jokes must be in good taste. No hate speech, bigotry, etc.
smooth π
"Girl, you are my Two's Complement, you're always my plus one on any occaision"
Cuz if you invert the bits of of a binary number and add one you get its negative number, so your girlfried is an equal part of you
Damn son save some for the rest of us.
Youβll need an exception handler for all those dropping panties.
I was thinking about you when I cleaned up this codebase and removed a lot of redundant functions.
That sounds more like breaking up.
The employee that left the mess was already long gone unfortunately
I made a website for my wife with a list of a ton of reasons why I love her and each time she taps the screen it shows a new one.
So... that is a thing you can do for the cost of a domain name and some cheap hosting.
How many reasons did you code into it?
I don't know, I'd have to check the database. I add to it every once in a while so it keeps growing. I think I started with around 20 or so
Aw man that's so cute! Great idea, hope she appreciates it.
git branch testing.stephanie.slept.with.my.friend.brad
Name a linux distro after her and yourself. Always works.
I also thought of Debian.
This person misunderstands a beautiful function code can be very sexy or maybe I'm a odd girl.
var LogicGate = map[string]string{
"OR": "OR",
"AND": "AND",
"NOT": "NOT",
"NOR": "NOR",
"NAND": "NOR",
"XOR": "XOR",
}
func isLogicGate(inString string) (bool) {
_, ok := LogicGate[strings.ToUpper(inString)]
if ok {
return true
} else {
return false
}
}
func stringAsGateLogic(inString string) (bool, error) {
inSplit := strings.Split(inString, " ")
var phrase1 strings.Builder
var phrase2 stringa.Builder
var gateString string
for word := range inSplit {
if isLogicGate(word) {
if len(gateString) < 1{
gateString = word
} else {
phrase2.WriteString(word)
}
} else {
if len(gateString) < 1{
phrase1.WriteString(word)
} else {
phrase2.WriteString(word)
}
}
}
boolPhrase1 := bool(phrase1.String())
boolPhrase2 := bool(phrase2.String())
switch strings.ToUpper(gateString) {
case "OR":
return (boolPhrase1 || boolPhrase2), nil
case "AND":
return (boolPhrase1 && boolPhrase2), nil
case "NOT":
return (!boolPhrase2), nil
case "NOR":
return (!(boolPhrase1 || boolPhrase2)), nil
case "NAND":
return (!(boolPhrase1 && boolPhrase2)
case "XOR":
orRes := (boolPhrase1 || boolPhrase2)
nandRes := (!(boolPhrase1 && boolPhrase2))
return (orRes && nandRes), nil
default:
return false, fmt.Errorf("Why you do dis?: %v", inString)
}
}
func main(){
answer, err := stringAsGateLogic ("This person misunderstands a beautiful function code can be very sexy or maybe I'm a odd girl.")
if err != nil {
fmt.Println(err)
}
fmt.Println(answer)
}
Image Transcription: Twitter Post
bass boosted ACAB @lil_morgy
hooking up with artists is hot cuz theyll be like "i thought of you when i wrote this song". what are tech guys gonna do? name a git branch after you? the fuck
[* I am a human volunteer and you could be too β€οΈ*]
Good human!
Sure, but at least they won't be afraid of commitment.
I wrote an automation specifically for my partner to unlock the front door when they arrive home.
Also we got a sexy time button.
Home Assistant is a path to what many would consider... Unnatural.
MySQL, MariaDB, and MaxScale are all named after Ulf "Monty" Widenius' kids
βThe two hardest problems in programming are cache invalidation, naming things and off-by-one errors.β
No. They'll just name an entire lineup of the worlds biggest computers after your daughter.
Little baby Thinkpad really deserves it.
The creator of MySQL, MaxDB and MariaDB named them after his children My, Max and Maria, so why not
after his children My
I thought you were kidding, but his daughter is actually named "My".
It helps that it's a name in another language (Finnish), where βmyβ isn't a word, at all.
Then what's about MongoDB?
When I was learning programming I wrote a small program that I called for_you.exe. It printed an animated ASCII penis ejaculating on some boobs. I emailed it to my girlfriend and thankfully she thought it was hilarious. We're still together.
You can tell your age by the fact that you were emailing an exe file.
Naming variables after loved ones. Stephanie += 1 Stephanie/bob = Jeff
If Jeff == Stephanie: Jerome(Stevens)
Well, I made my girlfriend a GUI app that converts subtitles from Windows-1251 to utf-8 encoding so that she doesn't have to remember how to do it. And I didn't even name it after her...
So, anyone here want to name a git branch after me? π
The classic Wizard vs Bard debate.
I use friends and family as sample data for unit/integration tests.
At a previous job, I tested an automated email system by scheduling fake events for various US presidents. I've long left that position, but I never cleaned up the test data. Every month I still get a reminder for Nixon's upcoming reservation at the Watergate Hotel.
Well I am now, that's romantic as fuck
"Honey, I named this branch after you. It changes whitespace in the readme of a major open source project, but it'll look great on my resume!"