For a long time I didn’t feel like I was really part of the community. I’m bisexual and have had relationships with other women in the past but I’m married to a man now. I’ve found people in the community who say I’m not really a part of it so I’ve been really hesitant until recently to even try to participate.
this post was submitted on 09 Jun 2023
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You're definitely still part of the community, haha. Liking same or other genders doesn't change any of that. Getting married to someone doesn't change that. Even though I'm dating a guy, that doesn't mean I don't still think some women are attractive. Etc etc. You are perfect as you are, and I say that as a fellow bi person 🏳️🌈
Thank you! It feels really good to hear that and I’m excited to be more active in the community. 💜
biphobia sucks, I'm really sorry people told u that
Pros - I am attracted to everybody
Cons - nobody is still attracted to me
I mean it's who I am, but the current political climate definitely makes things a bit difficult.
Exactly! The world is easier not being, but it's who I am, and I'm not mad about that.
I'm happy and take pride in being openly trans. None of my issues are in being trans, only with the people and systems that make it difficult and painful. I have to see them as separate things so that I don't internalize the way being a trans person is treated as being transgender in itself.
Otherwise I'll be even more angry and bitter than I already am most days, and I'm truly trying to not be as much.
I second this! I'm really proud of who I am - I work in a rainbow community org and am really proud of the work I do, too. I've been out for a decade or so and two years ago I barely thought about being trans any more - it's just a part of who I am. But the big increase in anti-trans rhetoric (here in Aotearoa - significant but still not close to what's happening in the states) mean that I have to be more mindful and more aware of it, not in the least because my role means I do lots of work in the areas that have some of the biggest negative attention - healthcare, schools, bathrooms and changing rooms.
I'm actually not, but my best friend is Bi, and at my last couple jobs, it was often assumed that I was. I was a bartender, and I absolutely flirted with other men if it made me money or got a creep out the door non confrontationally.
Being able to flirt and be friendly with whoever I wanted was nice. Unfortunately at THIS job, someone found out I'm going to pride tomorrow to my friend, and now I'm being frozen out. I had a talk with HR yesterday that people are "uncomfortable" with me walking a lap through the office in the afternoon to stretch my legs.
Fuck office work. That's all I'm going to say.
I feel this, I work in the LTL (shipping and trucking) industry so there's a lot of people who are very much not comfortable around me once they found out I'm not straight.
I haven't had to go to HR about it for more than 1 person but it's something that I've noticed for sure
Honestly, I can't go to HR, so it's kind of stressing me out. My boss doesnt give a fuck, but if he decides he does, I'm out the door.
And I'm sure this isn't a news flash to anyone here, but it's fucking irritating. Buncha squares made their little lives so safe, boring, and miserable that they have to latch onto anything different and destroy it to avoid thinking about it.
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Always grieving for younger me and wondering what could have been but I love me now and I'm so excited for that this younger generation has so much support and is expressing themselves in all the ways I wish I could have. It's a beautiful things.
It's interesting being a recovering country gay because I've made a lot of lesbian and non binary friends but i still want to do the dating/bf experience :(
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Back when I was Christian, I hated what I was. I spent my youth "praying the gay away" and all that. As a result, I suffered from depression and anxiety pretty much straight out of the womb.
Then I came out, was ostracized by my Christian family, and everything I was afraid of happening happened.
But you know what? I ended up finding a new family who loves and supported who I am. I married a wonderful woman who loves me in all my trans masc non-binary, bisexual confusion.
I realized that what I hated wasn't my being queer, what I hated was that my family would never love me unconditionally. Now I love who I am and I honestly feel happier than I ever did performing the cis straight dance.
I like it because it means I get to like girls and I can't imagine this not being an option anymore.
The climate in the US is very bad right now, and it sucks that I have to actively think of how queer I want to present myself on any given outing. But it's still worth being queer.
I like being ace. It does suck that in my home country, most people think that asexuality doesn't exist.
I'm not even queer but I love y'all and the safe spaces you create <3
closeted but I thank god every day I'm bi regardless. genderwise I guess I'd rather not be nb but it is what it is 🤷. I'm more or less okay with what I am.
I don’t mind, mostly. There were days when I was wondering whether „life“ would be easier if I was hetero but realized that this question does not make any sense. Plus, I met so many lovely people and had a great time – it’s all worth it.
Well, life might be easier in the sense of not having randos raise eyebrows, wanting explanations, putting up barriers to basic, universal human rights. But as a (boomer) lesbian, I'm only too happy not to be dealing with social expectations about gender role restrictions in a conventional marriage.
Oh yes, I'm looking at this question from my very privileged point of view, obviously, since I do not need to be afraid because of my sexual orientation. Even at work everyone (seemed to have) accepted it or simply does not care. And raised eyebrows, well, they simply do not do it while I am around. There are a few people that are surprisingly cold to me and I wonder whether it's because of this, but in the end I just don't care.
I guess you're right. I learned a lot from being bi myself but things would be so much easier if I was hetero
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Life may be easier as someone straight, but there's upsides to being queer too. I feel like I don't have to worry about my appearance as much. If I wanna wear nailpolish, I can do it. Or other stuff like that. I guess I do worry a bit about people confronting me and my bf, but I live in a great city that seems chill with it. So I'd say the tradeoff was worth it :)
Yes, that's it. In the right environment living your true self is easier as a queer person. At least that's what it feels like.
I'm not a very social person so for me the worst part is feeling left out of the community. I'm very happy to be queer. But I also live in a place where I don't always feel comfortable being visible - those experiences make me hate my surroundings, not my identity.
I love it. I'm still half-closeted, but this is good.
It's nice being a part of a community that accepts me for who I am.
I grew up in a very rural very conservative area with a very conservative father so accepting who I was was something I had to work towards.
And just being able to be me with a community is so nice, some members of the community don't like me (I'm bi, so there's biphobia to deal with from the community) but in general the community is very welcoming.
Being bi has only upsides for me, being trans can be rough. On the social side it's been surprisingly pretty great, but emotionally it has taken its toll
It's a pretty intrinsic part of who I am; I can't imagine myself NOT being a trans lesbian. My egg cracked when I was 12, but it took over twenty years for me to come out(and I'm STILL not fully out). I guess, after YEARS of hiding it, it's nice to be openly queer, but, yeah, I'm not sure if I necessarily like it.
Yall can be a bit annoying a little weird, but I guess you're alright
Yeah. Even with all the bullshit trans and queer people face I am much happier being myself. Wouldn't trade it for anything. It helps that I live in a queer positive city in a US state without pushes for anti trans legislation, certainly. But whenever I feel depressed about fascists making life harder for people like me I can always reach out to my partner and my found family for support.
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