Make them do project management.
Programmer Humor
Welcome to Programmer Humor!
This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!
For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.
Rules
- Keep content in english
- No advertisements
- Posts must be related to programming or programmer topics
Correctly highlight when a programmer is being assumptive as a brick, even when assumptions are one of the biggest sins in programming. Done, you've triggered a lot of programmers.
I thought the joke here was that your unbalanced parentheses would make me angry (they did))
... is that not the point of the title?
Insist they index from 1. Like God and Fortran intended it. ;)
Fuck C and it's lazy shit pointer arithmetic array indexing shortcut. I.e. you just add the index Γ size(t) to the array pointer.
Bounds checking? We've heard of it.
It's fast though.
Like riding a motorcycle in a tee shirt and shorts.
I've ridden a motorbike in a T-shirt and kilt before. That's ... fun ...
And Lua!
I have this great idea for an app, we can go 70/30 on it! 70 for me because the idea is the hardest part after all. So basically it's Twitter plus Facebook plus Tinder with a built in MMO. You can get that done in a couple weeks, should be pretty easy right?
[Object object]
Actually it's [object Object]
Html is a programming language.
Thatβs right there with calling JS, PowerShell and Bash βprogramming languagesβ. I said what I said.
Tell me you don't know what a programming language is without telling me you don't know what a programming language is
tbf javascript is not a programming language, it is the language of the devil
Replace a semicolon (;) with a Greek Question mark (ΝΎ), provided they're working in a language that uses semicolons at the end of every line, and their IDE doesn't highlight the difference (which some do now)
Fun fact, Rust has a special error message for this:
Unicode character 'ΝΎ' (Greek Question Mark) looks like a semicolon, but it is not.
It also detects other potentially confusing Unicode characters, like the division slash which looks like /
.
short variable names, and the only vowel is 'i'
I inherited an old Japanese codebase. Tons of stuff was just single-letter variables. Apparently, this used to be at least somewhat common here. I spent a lot of time just updating code to replace vars with something meaningful (and found bonus bugs due to improper scoping with same var names as a bonus). Didn't have an IDE that would easily do it for me at the time and running something like sed
felt too risky.
Write spaghetti code and don't listen to advice telling you to improve
Make them stand up.
You have no power here! I use a standing desk.
Good pay for me, no programming socks for thee!
You take that back! My programming socks are the source of my power!
I'll make a deal. Write a kernel in Python, and I'll consider it. Until then, YOUR SOCKS ARE MINE!
warms up your cold side
I'm the cold side of your pillow, so you're causing harm to yourself