this post was submitted on 01 Mar 2025
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Programmer Humor

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Probably not a good title to seek upvotes. If it does get upvotes, more programmers get share in your pain πŸ˜…

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[–] BeardedGingerWonder@feddit.uk 1 points 2 minutes ago

Make them do project management.

[–] lvxferre@mander.xyz 2 points 2 hours ago

Correctly highlight when a programmer is being assumptive as a brick, even when assumptions are one of the biggest sins in programming. Done, you've triggered a lot of programmers.

[–] zea_64@lemmy.blahaj.zone 58 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

I thought the joke here was that your unbalanced parentheses would make me angry (they did))

[–] johntash@eviltoast.org 21 points 7 hours ago

... is that not the point of the title?

[–] troyunrau@lemmy.ca 16 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

Insist they index from 1. Like God and Fortran intended it. ;)

[–] deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz 3 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Fuck C and it's lazy shit pointer arithmetic array indexing shortcut. I.e. you just add the index Γ— size(t) to the array pointer.

Bounds checking? We've heard of it.

[–] Naich@lemmings.world 2 points 4 hours ago (1 children)
[–] deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz 6 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Like riding a motorcycle in a tee shirt and shorts.

[–] letsgo@lemm.ee 1 points 23 minutes ago

I've ridden a motorbike in a T-shirt and kilt before. That's ... fun ...

[–] KickMeElmo@sopuli.xyz 4 points 7 hours ago

I have this great idea for an app, we can go 70/30 on it! 70 for me because the idea is the hardest part after all. So basically it's Twitter plus Facebook plus Tinder with a built in MMO. You can get that done in a couple weeks, should be pretty easy right?

[–] towerful@programming.dev 38 points 11 hours ago (2 children)
[–] darvit@lemmy.darvit.nl 1 points 1 hour ago

Actually it's [object Object]

[–] Molten_Moron@lemmings.world 24 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Html is a programming language.

[–] ramble81@lemm.ee 4 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

That’s right there with calling JS, PowerShell and Bash β€œprogramming languages”. I said what I said.

[–] sleep_deprived@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Tell me you don't know what a programming language is without telling me you don't know what a programming language is

[–] tocano@lemmy.today 1 points 25 minutes ago

tbf javascript is not a programming language, it is the language of the devil

[–] Darohan@lemmy.zip 26 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Replace a semicolon (;) with a Greek Question mark (ΝΎ), provided they're working in a language that uses semicolons at the end of every line, and their IDE doesn't highlight the difference (which some do now)

Fun fact, Rust has a special error message for this:

Unicode character 'ΝΎ' (Greek Question Mark) looks like a semicolon, but it is not.

It also detects other potentially confusing Unicode characters, like the division slash which looks like /.

[–] Hammerheart@programming.dev 11 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

short variable names, and the only vowel is 'i'

[–] tiredofsametab@fedia.io 4 points 5 hours ago

I inherited an old Japanese codebase. Tons of stuff was just single-letter variables. Apparently, this used to be at least somewhat common here. I spent a lot of time just updating code to replace vars with something meaningful (and found bonus bugs due to improper scoping with same var names as a bonus). Didn't have an IDE that would easily do it for me at the time and running something like sed felt too risky.

[–] embed_me@programming.dev 4 points 9 hours ago

Write spaghetti code and don't listen to advice telling you to improve

[–] LuxSpark@lemmy.cafe 7 points 11 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Albbi@lemmy.ca 6 points 9 hours ago

You have no power here! I use a standing desk.

[–] coldsideofyourpillow@lemmy.cafe 3 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Good pay for me, no programming socks for thee!

[–] apotheotic 1 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

You take that back! My programming socks are the source of my power!

[–] coldsideofyourpillow@lemmy.cafe 1 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

I'll make a deal. Write a kernel in Python, and I'll consider it. Until then, YOUR SOCKS ARE MINE!

[–] apotheotic 1 points 41 minutes ago (1 children)
[–] coldsideofyourpillow@lemmy.cafe 1 points 27 minutes ago

I'm the cold side of your pillow, so you're causing harm to yourself