As a person with ASD, I often struggle with trying to keep up with and understanding the world around me, especially other people. I frequently need to ask people to repeat what they're saying or ask them to expand or clarify on what they've said so I can understand it better. I also sometimes don't remember things properly or my memory just poops out entirely and I don't remember something at all.

And time and time again all of this gets met with passive-aggression and lack of patience. Snippy remarks, sighs, scoffs, etc are all too common and it makes me anxious and afraid to converse with people, especially those that I know have less patience for me than others.

Some examples of things that really hit hard for me are things like: "I already told you," "Like I said...." "Didn't you get it?" "Wasn't that clear?" "Don't you remember?"

Stuff like that just cuts deep when all you were doing was trying your best to fit in the conversation. So if any neurotypical people are reading this then please try your best to have patience for people that might not be getting what you're saying right away. Some of us need a bit more time and energy to process things.

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[–] Nyla_Smokeyface 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ughhhh I have ADHD and I know exactly what you mean. I'm sorry you're going through that

[–] Thalestr 1 points 1 year ago

It's definitely one of the things that makes being neurodivergent a pain in the ass sometimes :(

[–] gooddaytodayhere@vlemmy.net 6 points 1 year ago

This one’s a tough one for me. I’m Autistic and ADHD. I need stuff repeated to me but I also HATE repeating things for others. And it annoys me that I don’t like repeating because I know I need that support too

[–] Kuroneko 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

As someone with both ASD and ADHD I completely understand how you feel here. Too many neurotypical people lack patience and general empathy and get mad if they have to elaborate or repeat themselves.

[–] Thalestr 4 points 1 year ago

Yeah... Like I can kinda understand why it might be a bit frustrating, especially if someone is already running a short fuse after a long or hard day or something, but it doesn't feel good to know my existence is making someone annoyed.

[–] satyr 5 points 1 year ago

I think it stems from lack of empathy and assumptions. People will often assume you're making a rude choice to not pay attention, and that hurts their ego. It makes them feel disregarded and unimportant. So they respond in a snippy way to express their frustration with you. They have no idea what is really upsetting them is their own assumptions about your behavior. When you break it down like this, it can help you see it's not about you at all. They're closed off and inconveniencing themselves as a result.

People have a really hard time seeing outside of themselves and their own personal experiences. I had one friend in particular who constantly gave me shit for things outside of my control. She was the most effortlessly organized person I ever met, and she figured I was actively choosing my symptoms of ADHD. Even knowing your circumstances, some people are just not going to get it.

[–] Ignacio@sopuli.xyz 4 points 1 year ago

I have both ADHD and ASD, and I can relate to everything you said. Sometimes I don't care so much, but it's really frustrating in certain circumstances.