this post was submitted on 25 Jul 2023
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My goal is not to further engage with things that make me feel bad about myself. Probably shouldn’t have posted in the first place. Was just hoping for a quick and simple explanation from someone who shares the sentiment because I didn’t expect this sort of stuff on Beehaw :/ sorry
Tl:dw; aids/hiv and assholes with agendas writing magazines.
I'll share some of my perspective. It may also include a little bit of jealousy from the queer side; a bi man can hide his bisexuality while a gay man cannot. It may also have a little bit of its roots in insecurity. I've been able to find men much easier than women, so the usual limits on a hetero man with regards to finding someone to cheat on their boo with don't apply to a bisexual man. An insecure woman could see that and want to avoid bisexual men altogether due to personal insecurity in her ability to catch and keep a man.
I don't agree with these perspectives but people are human, and those are very human emotions to be feeling.
"Those are very human emotions to be feeling" isn't a valid answer, though. It's an internal, unfair bias that hurts other people, and that shouldn't be acceptable in a community that is trying to be all-inclusive.
Appreciate the explanation but it just leaves me feeling shitty because I have no control over other peoples perceptions or thoughts. I’ve never cheated on anyone I’ve dated and it never even occurred to me to do.
It just really hurts because if I live my life as my true self, I’ll repulse everyone except for a small minority of other bi people who all experience this. Or, I can live my life straight passing and always feel icky about myself. I just wish I was born fully straight. I don’t like being actively disgusting to most people just for existing 🙁
Enough internet for me today I feel like shit.
I totally get what you’re saying and how the subject is painful. I’ve personally found it helpful to better understand where the negative perception comes from and how nonsensical it’s origins are. It helps me to address the internalized biphobia and build my own self confidence. We're valid, and ignorance can be fought.
My alternative explanation is that bi men stay in the closet "too long" cause they are discouraged from being open and they also kinda can stay closeted.
That makes you fly under the radar and hear and possibly even internalize the worst things straight people say about LGBT people. It also makes you spend more time with straight people instead of your fellow bi dudes, who you could best advocate for yourself with.
That's how it was for me anyway. Mind you, I'm not blaming us for our oppression, just saying that we're in a bit of a tricky dilemma.