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Intro To BDSM: Creating A Dom Persona ft. Yaz (inv.nadeko.net)

submitted 2 weeks ago by elfpie to c/chat

14 comments fedilink hide all child comments

If you think that what you are doing to someone else is too humiliating, degrading, unacceptable to think about happening to you, there's something to explore.

Go to 45:40 for a bit more context, but this quote is enough to start the discussion I have in mind.

The idea is simple and it’s mostly aimed at the ones with little interested in BDSM. BDSM is not abuse. It might be abusive, which is absolutely bad, but that should never be the nature of the practice.

From time to time, I see accusations of abuse being dismissed with the excuse it’s just a form of BDSM that people outside can’t understand. It’s not that hard to grasp the concepts, but you’ll notice you will never get an explanation. Serious people will know what they are talking about and are able to provide you with resources for you to educate yourself. Honestly, most people would find all the education and preparation quite boring, the same way someone that just wants to cut people up would find too bothersome to become a surgeon.

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[–] SweetCitrusBuzz 10 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

As for the abuse, this is exactly why you should stay away from people who:

'Figured it out' for themselves without any education from actual kink educators.
Do not believe that the core of kink is respecting consent, boundaries and autonomy and that consent is revocable at any time.
Do not practise good RACK: Risk Aware Consensual Kink.

Such people should be kept away from kink at all costs.

[–] Powderhorn 1 points 2 weeks ago

I was introduced to the scene by a woman who "figured it out" for herself. She nominally wanted a Dom but was a fucking power bottom. That took years to recover from, and I was inactive and went vanilla before being able to return to exploring.