this post was submitted on 26 Nov 2024
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It's very difficult to find motivation to do much of anything.
An unexpected two-day hospital stay meant I couldn't make the deadline to bill my time for the prior two weeks, forced a very unpleasant life change on me, and the next domino was a credit-card payment due last week. It used to be when I was a week past due, I could still access my remaining credit, but no more, and even scheduling a payment for next week couldn't change that. So I have $11 for the next nine days without being in a food position that anticipated being down to so little. Guess it's Chef Boyardee, bologna sandwiches and water for the next week!
The election looms over everything, but for me in specific, whose job is mostly rewriting press releases about federal grants for green energy and tech, it's pretty clear that I won't have anything to cover come Jan. 20. Which means even when I have money, I need to continue acting as though I don't. I've been on this fucking seesaw since just before covid, and while some swings have been my own choices, the vast majority have been circumstance.
I don't have the energy or will to go through yet another job search. And I can't take a full-time position because wages will be garnished by creditors.