this post was submitted on 02 Sep 2023
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It's not a trans persons responsibility to have to explain their existence though. Can you imagine how exhausting that would be? Give them a break. Give them some cover. I actually love all my trans friends and I try to listen and see what they want. I don't put the burden on them to be the trans explainer in all situations.
I just give them love when they need it, and an ear when they need it. I think, just like all of us, they just want to exist and not be hassled about it most times, and if given the right space and the right moment they might tell you about their experience and maybe you'll get a chance to help.
I see this as being the difference between covering a friend and coddling them. I'll defend everyone in this community with my life if it came to it. But I'm not going to coddle anyone from non-threats, and take the time to actually make sure if someone is simply curious or is a bad faith actor before hand. While it can be obvious sometimes, many times it's just a non-trans ally who wants to learn. I think it's best to give benefit of the doubt at first, until any ulterior motives are exposed.