iso

joined 1 year ago
[–] iso@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 7 months ago (1 children)

You're the reason we need this flag.

[–] iso@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

The union jack shows a prime example of the opposite

[–] iso@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 7 months ago (3 children)

As a trans person who's been harassed and excluded at an LGBT event, I don't feel represented by a rainbow at all anymore. Go do your thing LGB, since I'm not welcome I'm doing mine. If you show me that I'm allowed to be part of you (by putting my thing back into yours) I'm coming back.

[–] iso@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

There is no racism against whites, idiot. You aren't being denied jobs, getting houses, being shot by the police for no reason, or being harassed on the streets openly because you're white.

Stop bitching around and deal with the fact that you're not a king/queen/monarch anymore you absolute moron.

Sorry for the tone, but this shit pisses me off.

[–] iso@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

elektronische Tanzmusik. Es kommt von "Hardcore", der schnelleren Variante des noch etwas bekannteren "Hardstyle".

Bei Metal isses spezifisch "Harcore Punk", wovon die ganzen "-core" genres hergeleitet wersen (bei welchen ich auf Teufel komm raus spontan auch nur metalcore und deathcore kenne, könnten die einzigen gängigeren Hardcore Punk Genres sein)

[–] iso@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 9 months ago

little late but I kinda feel like responding:

The beds are outside in the countryside, usually on fields that are owned by the farmers who offer the "rooms", so they're a bit secluded.

You're brought there by said farmer, he shows you around a bit, shows the fridge, etc. Then he leaves again.

If you need any room service, you just call up the farmer and he comes back to bring it.

No idea about toilets, but I think you'd also have to walk back to the farm. Same if it rains. Pretty much all of those openair hotels are ran by those kinds of farmers anyway, who were used to hotel guests as they've been offering "sleeping in the hey" kinda things since years, so for them, it's pretty much the same, except being a little (sometimes a lot) further away and being logistically a bit more challenging.

[–] iso@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Swiss here, no it isn't. Here's a (german) overview of a few "openair hotels": https://www.stilpalast.ch/travel/specials/schlafen-unter-freiem-himmel-7144

[–] iso@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I just don't care about any of that at all. I have around 100TB of seeding accumulated over the years, no VPN, zero security measures, nothing ever happened at all.

[–] iso@lemmy.dbzer0.com 49 points 1 year ago

Given that it's Hetzner, there's not much you can do besides telling them "oops sorry didn't know this was illegal" and proceed using a VPN on your seedbox, go private tracker or just use a different hoster. Hetzner isn't a big fan of torrenting since they have the (german) feds in their neck.

[–] iso@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 year ago

yeah, you kinda got one side of it

Even if everyone is perfectly compatible, by going for a triangle you're also dealing with the dynamic of drastic change to an already existing relationship, which obviously has a stronger bond. Introducing a new person into this dynamic wreaks havoc, since the new person wants to compete, the other two want to spend a lot of time with that new person, overwhelming them, while also sticking to each other at times, essentially third-wheeling the new person.

It never works out. Too many ripples in the pond.

[–] iso@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

opening an existing mono relationship to become ethically non-monogamous is a very difficult thing

Now to think about, I should probably also put out the warning that triangles are the "extreme" challenge, so to say. Seen it work out once, and only once, and I've seen it fail a few dozen of times, including my own attempts at it.

Tringles should reward an irl achievement ngl

[–] iso@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 points 1 year ago (5 children)

That's poly. There's many ways on how to deal with these feelings, but acknowledging them and knowing that these aren't wrong feelings, nor signs of "wanting to cheat" is definitely the first step.

After that, it's very important to speak about this with your partner, so they too can acknowledge that this is a thing and can understand ehen you talk about such feelings (in order to make sure they don't think you're wanting to cheat). Partners sometimes have a hard time dealing with it, been there, it sucks.

Once you've built that transparency, there's many ways to go. Generally, people tend to try out more open ways of relationships, but there is no such thing as "a universal open relationship", every has to figure things out by themselves, with their partner(s).

As someone who's poly herself, I can tell you that anything related to relationships has just turned into "hardmode".

Either you suppress your polyamory and continue staying in a mono relationship. Been there, it didn't work out for me long-term.

You can try and open the mono relationship up a bit, defining key things you're (both) allowed to do. This can include flirting, kissing, non-commiting sexual acts (one night stands), non-commited relationships ("dating" but without any commitment, "I might be gone at any time depending on circumstances with my partner"), dating with commitment (having 2 partners at the same time), in which you can also seperate between having a "main partner" and a "side partner".

Throughout all of this, open, transparent and completely honest communication from everyone involved is mandatory, setting rules and boundaries and accepting them is essential, communicating clearly to new partners where you stand and how those rules are set is paramount.

Love is a strong emotion, it can make you fly over the skies, but it can also pull you into deepest, darkest depths. It's your responsibility to ensure that the latter is being limited, for you and everyone involved, basically damage control. You will fail often, but that's just how love is, in mono as well as poly relationships, although such failures hit you harder when in poly relationships.

One of the most important pieces of advice I can give you is to not be ashamed about this, about being poly, about falling in love with people randomly. It's the same as with any other thing in the LGBTQ+ space, you can't decide about it, you just are.

Oh right, and one of my biggest points of advice: never commit to more then 3 partners, ever. The time investment is too high to handle it and you will burn yourself out.

There's a lot more things I could write, but I guess this is the "poly 101". If you have any questions, feel free to reach out :)

 

I feel like I need to get this off my chest...

I started transitioning 5 years ago and at this point, I 100% pass, except for voice and a very slight beard shadow (that for some reason no one but me notices).

I feel completely scared about Lesbian spaces, and Cis women in particular. The few times I went out there (which was in the first 2 years of my transition), I've had horrible experiences.

It ranges from a few agonizing glances you get occasionally, up to outright comments about "this is a women only space btw".

I've also often noticed how cis lesbians seem to treat me differently when it comes to romantical and sexual interest. The moment it's revealed that I'm trans, things seem to shift. "Oh, I've never tried this", "oh, that's interesting, kinda", quite often there's the question about bottom surgery ("this might be a bit intimate to ask, but..."), and sometimes even outright ghosting or immediate disinterest.

I feel like this is the last, and yet hardest mountain to climb, to the point where I just feel too frustrated to even try, accepting the fact that, well... I will probably always remain a trans woman, and won't fit in to those societies that I so heavily relate to when I can keep my pseudonimity.

And yeah, T4T is a thing, it's pretty much the only thing I got going at this point...

Can anyone relate? Has anyone managed to overcome this hurdle?

view more: next ›