girlthing

Nah, I'd give those a solid 8/10

Not a detransitioner specifically, but I am stuck in the closet for the forseeable future, so we might have some things in common 🥲

While I am not exactly a shining example of happiness and success, I have at least managed not to die by my own hand so far, which is not nothing, I guess.

There are basically two things that keep me going:

1. As long as I'm still here, I can fight.

The systems that keep me in the closet do not just oppress me, they oppress most of the world. Which means that there will always be people to fight alongside. Even if trans liberation isn't their direct goal. Even if I have to hide my transness from them.

I may never become who I'm meant to be. But that doesn't mean there aren't still things worth doing. Everything counts.

2. I still have hope.

Consider that people during the Cold War lived in very justified fear of global nuclear armageddon. If I had lived through those times, I would never have believed that despite decades of fingers hovering over self-destruct buttons, the world would still survive. And yet, here we are.

I don't know how, but maybe we'll survive this apocalypse. Maybe someday it'll be safe for me to transition. I intend to stick around to find out.

Good luck, and I wish you the best, fellow traveller. I've written on a similar note in another thread, maybe you'll find it helpful: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/21727800/12811429

this is the nicest thing i have heard in months. this comment feels like a warm hug. i don't know you enough to say this, but i love you so much <3

Holy heck, I'm going to be reading the shit out of that blog for the forseeable future. An experienced anarchist transfem writer? In MY dystopia?!?!?

Have you considered a third option: Being paralyzed by grief and dread over the ongoing apocalypse. Too far removed from it to directly fight back, and yet the world in which you could see a future for yourself is slipping away. Unable to do any of the things you SHOULD be doing to improve your material situation, because what's the point if you'll die without ever getting to live as yourself, to experience even the basic sense of belonging with people like you that will get cis people through this

...and also not texting anyone back, because nobody in your life knows, and you're dependent on people who are known to be phobey, and you'd lose whatever fragile social capital you still have thanks to male privilege and hiding all the ~~ugly~~ nonconformant parts of yourself, and how are you supposed to talk about netflix shows and the weather when your brain is literally just insurrectionary anarchism and traaaaaaaaans, neither of which you can safely act on

...and being too paranoid even to shitpost or vent regularly on the internet, because you're afraid you'd give out enough info for someone to dox you, and that would be the end

obligatory :3 so i can pretend i'm still being quirky and funny like everyone else, don't mind me, just silli thoughts~

cutie alert!!