Menagerie

Actually, most of the women inside my head look like the middle one.

Osees - A Foul Form

Run the Jewels - RTJ4

KGWL - PetroDragonic Apocalypse

Overhaul as in pull the bearings out, clean them with degreaser, then inspect them. If the bearings are not pitted and the retainer isn't bent out of shape, you can reuse them. If they are messed up, they are very cheap to replace, many bike shops will have replacements on hand. Once you have cleaned or gotten new bearings, pack the cups they sit in full of grease, and reassemble. Typically bearing retainers will have a side that is more rounded and a side that is more flat, you usually want to put them into the cup rounded side facing in.

Once you have it back together, you want to adjust it. The goal is to have the bearings be as loose as possible while not having any play in them. You also want to make sure the locknut is tight against the cone.

This page has info that will be useful for the bottom bracket.

Pro-tip: These bikes usually come with little to no grease in the bottom bracket, headset, and front hub. I would recommend overhauling them sooner rather than later if you want the bearings to last.

For someone who is overweight riding a bike, the weakest part of the bike is the rear wheel. If you have issues with spokes breaking or the wheel goes out of true easily, consider going to a bike shop and asking them to hand build you a wheel with a nice beefy rim and a decent quality cassette hub. The wheel might cost $200-$300, but it is worth it to get something solid you can depend on.

Your bike should be compatible with most rear racks.

You have a suspension fork up front, which limits options for a rack there. Sunlite makes a cheap rack that attaches to the cantilever studs that will work but doesn't have a high weight capacity. Old Man Mountain makes very durable racks that attach at the axle, but cost quite a bit more.

Lots of fenders out there that will work, Planet Bike Cascadia fenders are fairly durable and have a good amount of coverage. Whichever fenders you get, you will need a set of p-clamps to attach them to the fork.

Cheap option for a trailer is to find a used kid trailer. Quite capable of hauling all sorts of things. If you go new, a Burley Flatbed or another trailer of the same style will be nicer to use.

Saddles are a very personal thing. What works great for one persons body will be an ass hatchet for someone else. First, ride the stock saddle for at least a few weeks to get your body used to sitting on a saddle. If it still isn't great, try making some small adjustements in the angle or moving forward or backward. If it still hurts, go to a bike shop and get fitted for a saddle. This usually involves sitting on a device to measure your sit bones.

Only other essential accessory is a good set of lights. If you ride at night a lot and hate remembering to charge batteries, consider investing in a dynamo hub and lights.

Have fun!

Plasma Mobile with your distro of choice. Works better than Gnome or normal Plasma, especially when it comes to the on screen keyboard.

My head is now clipping through a cardboard box full of stuff. I assume that wouldn't be very survivable.

Plasma mobile is worth a try, been pretty happy with it on a detachable 2 in 1 without it's keyboard. The onscreen keyboard works better than Gnome or normal Plasma.

Double wall rims can be made to be lower weight than single wall rims, and reducing rotating weight makes more of a difference than reducing weight elsewhere on the bike. Depending on how much lighter the new rims are, the bike might accelerate quicker. If the difference isn't really noticeable, higher quality tires paired with the new wheels should help get that upgraded feeling.

Bikes and weed.