The only opinion that matters here is your partner's.
this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2023
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Cheating is when you do something that betrays your partners trust.
I couldn't care less if my partners post nudes, anonymous or otherwise, so it wouldn't be cheating for me.
Other people feel differently, and so it could be cheating for them.
I also agree.
While I couldn't care less (it's their body and bodily autonomy is super important to me), I'd be a little hurt if they didn't tell me about it.
In that case I'd be more interested in talking to my partner to try and understand why they felt that they couldn't talk to me about it and needed to keep it a secret.
I donβt think thatβs true. Its not cheating if you steal a bunch of money from your partnerβs bank account by pretending to fall for a scam and hiding the money in some swiss account.
Itβs a fucked up thing to do, but itβs not βcheating on your partnerβ.
Agreed. Cheating in a relationship does not have the same definition as cheating in other contexts.
Infidelity (synonyms include cheating, straying, adultery, being unfaithful, two-timing, or having an affair) is a violation of a couple's emotional and/or sexual exclusivity that commonly results in feelings of anger, sexual jealousy, and rivalry.
I think what's important here is discussing it with your partner because it is a form of sex work.
That's absolutely your decision and your right, it's your body - but your partner should get to choose whether they want to date someone who is doing that.
Having removed metadata and with nothing recognizable in the pic.
Not really relevant, that's like saying ordinary cheating isn't cheating if you wear a good disguise.
that's like saying ordinary cheating isn't cheating if you wear a good disguise
π€
Or using a glory hole.
Someone is free to only date people who don't do office work, but its their job to communicate that requirement and what they'd consider crossing that line. You shouldn't be expected to consult your partner before filling out some paperwork at work and there shouldn't be some societal-wide expectation that you would inform them of the work.
When I get deeply emotionally attached to my data analyst, I might care if they're moonlighting on the side. Sex, work or not, is still an emotional topic for most of the human race and it's not new knowledge to anyone.
Enough that it would not naturally occur to me that "please do not engage in prostitution while we're together" needs to be said out loud. I will casually ask if you're monogamous and if you say yes, that's how monogamy works.
Even aside from that, yeah, tbh, I would consider it good form to let your partner know you're considering a new job regardless, just so they generally know what's going on. If you have to hide it, maybe something is wrong.
Selling a photo isn't really prostitution in the way people usually use it. No physical contact, no risk of STDs, no commitment to anons purchasing, it doesn't count.
If you put a lot of time into it or doing it more long-term or they're expecting you to be somewhere and you're gonna be late, sure. If it's a one-time thing that takes a very short amount of time, it's insignificant enough to not matter whether or not you mention it. That's not hiding anything more than not telling them you tied your shoes that day is hiding something.
I personally would not date someone who is employed by the US military.
If a partner hid that from me, it would be a breach of trust.
If you're in a relationship with someone that cares that deeply about office work, and you don't have the first inkling that they do, you have significant communication problems that need to be addressed.
More realistically, you'd know enough about your partner to know that it might be an issue for them, in which case, not knowing what their boundaries are, but knowing you're at risk of crossing them, you'd communicate with them.
Whether something, anything, is considered "cheating", is based on whatever the two people in a relationship agree shall be considered cheating. It's their relationship, their rules. An oral contract (pun intended).
If you have enough thoughts wondering if it is wrong, it probably is. Communication is key in a relationship. If they are cool with it, then do your thing. If you're too afraid to tell them then you already know the answer.
It's cheating and the fact that you are asking shows you know it is.
Given data is irrelevant to the question. Anonymous or not, it depends on what your partner thinks about this. And if you don't want your partner to know, then you already know the answer.
Posting nudes is not cheating. Not telling your partner you're posting nudes is cheating.
Nah not cheating but definitely something that should be discussed in a relationship.
I'd be concerned if my partner hid a job from me.
Send them to me and I'll tell you if it's cheating
Warning: I'm a dude
Then show the picture to GPT-4 and ask it to describe its contents in a thousand words.
And post that text here, and weβre read it and weβll judge whether itβs cheating material or just a fappable comment.
This depends entirely on what boundaries you have set in your relationship(s), and whether the person who is doing the sex work is open about it with the other partner(s)
Example 1: Relationship is established as monogamous, person is open about performing sex work and is not doing things behind their partner's back/trying to hide it, and both parties are satisfied that it falls within the boundaries they've set in their relationship - not cheating!
Example 2: Relationship is established as polyamorous, people involved have several partners and metamours. Person doing the sex work is not open with one or more of their partners about it, tries to hide it or do it behind people's backs, or does so despite it being outside of the boundaries set with one or more of their partners - cheating!
As with the vast majority of things in this vein, it's all about the individuals involved.
No but if your partner feels the need to hide this from you it's a good moment for reflection
Personally, I don't consider it cheating but I would be just as pissed off as if it were, so the difference doesn't really matter.
As others said, you probably want to talk thay with your partner.
It's definitely not cheating, but it still may upset your partner. I'd discuss it with them if I were you.
Backing all these comments that say it's about communication. If I found out my partner has been selling nudes, hiding it from me, and also hiding the money? An unforgivable betrayal of my trust and our relationship. If he came to me beforehand and we discussed it and the money went towards our mutual goals, it would at least be something I'd consider.
The whole point is not hiding it from your partner. Discuss things before you do them.
Not cheating, but without her knowledge or permission it just kind of makes you a piece of shit
No but also I'm poly so my boundaries on what is cheating are way different from most the population
Whose nudes? Yours or your partners?
Your own
You're selling my nudes?!
You really ought to close that bedroom window at night
No
Whose nudes?
Not "cheating" per se, but still bad.