this post was submitted on 10 Nov 2023
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[–] favrion 30 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I didn't realize that public places for queer folk had so much alcohol involved.

[–] Gormadt@lemmy.blahaj.zone 24 points 1 year ago (3 children)

And so many people want to go out drinking when you first meet up with them too

I've been sober for 5 years and it's kinda tough at times

[–] gk99 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

We should normalize stocking products like Liquid Death at bars for people who don't want to drink and need a product that's so visually wild that nobody will think "oh that's literally water in a can."

[–] w3dd1e@lemm.ee 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I saw a comic who spoke about telling the bartender before shows to put tea in his glass instead. Even if people order a shot for him, it should just be tea. It looked enough like alcohol that no one would make a big deal about it.

It’s wild that you can’t just be like “I want tea” without it becoming a whole thing.

[–] Zoop 5 points 1 year ago

I've known a lot of strippers and dancers to do the same type of thing. It's a good idea.

[–] w3dd1e@lemm.ee 6 points 1 year ago

This. I’m not completely sober but I did get myself in trouble a couple times after moving to a new city where I didn’t know anyone. The only way to meet people was at a bar and when I did make friends with my interests, again, it was always meeting up at a bar.

I get it. Where are you going to go after work when other places are closing and it’s dark outside.

my social anxiety made it all worse. What do I do with my hands? I guess I’ll hold a drink. I hated the whole thing. Now, I’m in my 30s and I barely leave my house. Dogs are better than people. 😊

[–] 30p87@feddit.de 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Just get some disease diagnosed, then say the meds for it don't allow alcohol. Works for me since a year lol

[–] RoseTintedGlasses@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

[I got a bot to automatically delete all my comments over 1 month old so you can't see this comment anymore]

[–] favrion 2 points 1 year ago

I didn't make that connection, but thank you for informing me.

[–] TheOakTree 23 points 1 year ago

I am not conventionally queer (my partner is NB though), but I would like to point out that there are some good, queer friendly makerspaces out there that would nicely double as a social space.

[–] caesaravgvstvs@feddit.de 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Society in general just seems to be in need of more "third spaces".

These non alcohol third spaces exist, even for queer people, but they're not initially evident like bars, and are generally based on an activity. Also there's not nearly as many as bars.

[–] rgb3x3 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Walkable neighborhoods, more parks, more public squares with restaurants, benches, large spaces for hanging out without car traffic running through it.

We all need spaces to be in that are outside work and home. It just so happens that cities (especially suburbs) aren't designed for it in any way whatsoever.

It would help people of all sexualities meet new people for hanging out, for love, or whatever else.

[–] KinNectar@kbin.run 6 points 1 year ago

I feel like this is an issue for all people, not just queer community. That said I live in a generally very progressive/inclusive area. In any case, I feel like any sober space that successfully serves as a social hub where people can actually meet and socialize with strangers is likely to draw in folks who may not identify as queer, just because of the general lack of this sort of third places at large in Western society.

[–] sculd 5 points 1 year ago

Completely agreed... I understand people are more relaxed after having a drink but I don't really drink much anymore.