Asklemmy

I actually seem to have this one: Appropriately sized container man. I can find the best sized container when we have leftovers from cooking. Extra pasta sauce? This container fits it all in perfectly.

I don't know if this qualifies as "b-tier", but I'd really would like a superpower where when hearing a sound I knew exactly what made it.

I live in an old house, in the middle of a forest. Lots of weird noises both inside and outside. Being able to know if a sound I just heard requires my attention (i.e. "is that some animal messing around in my walls, or just the old wood squeaking") would be gold. The amount of times I've gotten out of bed in the middle of the night to investigate something is too damn high. After countless mice, vasps nests, birds, and various mammals deciding to move in with us, my paranoia levels have skyrocketed.

Would also sort out the "is that my kid crying, or just the draft through the vents"-question, as well as "is that normal wood settling noises, or is there more rot I've yet to find and the whole house is collapsing".

Finish a task without getting distracted after five minutes man.

Free refill man. Just point my finger and any beverage is refilled.

I take perfect shits no matter what. Never constipated or have diahrea. Wipes are always perfectly clean.

I'd be perfect departure time man. Able to determine exactly when to leave in order to arrive at your destination on time, regardless of traffic, weather, or other conditions encountered along the way.

I would be Sleep-on-command man

Never get bitten by mosquitoes man.

superpowers are s-tier by definition, if one were b-tier it would have to just be a power

Food-doesnt-make-me-overweight-or-mess-up-my-health man.

So I can eat whatever I want and it's perfectly healthy for me whatever it is. I'd eat ao much ice cream it wouldn't be funny.

Incredible massage dude. I want to be able to give incredible massages that relax muscles. Maybe the ability to relieve stress by touch. Bonus points if it works on myself, my shoulders suck.

I already have mine, and it frustrates my wife no end. I'm Always Finds a Parking Spot Right Near Where We're Going Man, but only if I'm the one driving. When she's driving we end up on the wrong side of the parking lot.

B being secondary with A as the highest or tertiary with S as the highest?

If the former, I'll be Doesn't Overthink Everything Man

If the latter, I'll go with Correct Orientation of USB drives and Cables on First Try Man

Every-time-I-go-to-sit-there-is-a-seat-man

I just wanna be No-health-problem man

Perfect hearing man.

Might finally get rid of my tinnitus and I could hear silence again.

NoDepression Man

Nothing gets stuck in my teeth man.

Or, doesn’t get acid reflux man.

According to some, I have one! Perfectly-folded-fitted-sheets woman. Ultimately pretty meaningless, but satisfying nonetheless.

Photosynthesis would be really nice. Even if it didn't totally replace the need for food it would be cool.

Making inflated objects explode with my mind.

Car tires. Birthday balloons. Bubble wrap. Bagpipes.

Yes, I'd be a villain... or at least a vigilante. Don't run that red where I can see you... pop pop pop

I'm invisible if no one would see me

Edit: Fixed exploit

Perfect Croutons man, never burnt, always crunchy

How do you define B-tier superpower?

Knowing where that super-intelligent snail and the immortal billionaire is at all times-man. I could hire myself out to one of them.

"puts his pants on both legs at the same time" guy.

His coup de grâce is getting out of bed in the morning.

I alread have my super power and love it: high definition vision in low light conditions.

Bright lights hurt my eyes and I only get my supervision in b&w but it is really useful.

I always thought it would be cool to be able to imitate any sound effect. Totally useless but perfect for jokes.

What's B tier? On Marvel and DC scales there are several god level figures, are they like S rank? Does that make Superman like an A tier? This is hard.

I can talk to plants so they can tell me how terrible I am as a caretaker.

I’d want the ability to swap consciousness with other people, with their consent, for a short time.

It would be interesting to see what it’s like to be colour blind, or to experience what things taste like to people who dislike food I enjoy.

Having recently undergone a full extraction of my remaining teeth and gotten dentures, I'll take "has a healthy set of teeth"- or "can afford dental implants"-man