Asklemmy

It ain't pretty, but here's how I got through it until I started bringing in good money:

1. No takeout or eating out ever
2. Get a water filter pitcher and a nice water bottle. Drink only water.
3. Every paycheck, take out $200 or whatever you can afford. This is your "fun and gas" money. Your gas, hobbies, social life, and dating comes out of this fund. Whatever is leftover when your next paycheck hits goes into savings.
4. If you can rent a physically smaller place, do so. It will save on utilities.
5. Don't buy a car unless public transportation or biking is not viable in your area.
6. Meal plan with the goal of zero food waste. So if you plan to buy an onion and will use half of it in one meal, make sure you have another meal planned that week that uses the other half. Do this with every ingredient. If you're careful and creative you should never have to throw away food. - On this note, get good at cooking. It's much cheaper to cook from scratch.
7. Cancel your streaming services and learn to pirate safely.

This works but isn't a great way to live. You need to combine it with a plan to either make more money or relocate to a cheaper area while maintaining your current income.

You get some space by taking a better job and/or better budgeting

OR

You become numb to the grinding system

I realized that paying rent was like throwing money into a bottomless pit. Obviously buying a house was out of the question so I bought a used RV and moved into that. I added solar panels and all the VanLife type stuff and now my biggest expense is for the storage unit I put all my stuff in. No more rent, no power, water or most other bills. StarLink is expensive but with all the other expenses eliminated it's not bad at all.

I'm not really the correct person to answer this, since I'm not struggling to the same degree as you are.

However I once heard a good tip on how to save money. Most people, when they receive their salary spent it first on the necessities (food, rent, etc) and then save the remainder (if anything is left). But instead you should first save a percentage of your pay before spending on any necessities. That way, your brain will try to make the best use the remaining money to survive the best it can

I absolutely feel your pain and was in your situation for a long time. For over a decade as an adult, I lived well below the poverty line and was homeless for a couple stretches.

I obviously don't know you or your situation beyond what you shared, but I believe that you can improve your life just like I did. I was so poor and struggled for so long that I finally had enough and vowed to never be in that situation again. While the mindset helps, it was a long time of extra effort that got me into a comfortable position.

For me the biggest help was no one thing; it was a bunch of incremental improvements over about a decade. A jump to different jobs that pay even $1.50/hr more buy breathing room. I know you're not "buying too much avocado toast," but there might be ways to stretch your necessities budget; I hear that sometimes things get missed when using self checkouts.

Depending on where you are, there are hopefully food banks and living assistance services in your areas. If you need internet and don't have it, libraries are great places (and you can still check out books and movies for entertainment).

I wanted to write code for a living, so I got a computer science associates degree (not even a bachelor's); I went to school in the evenings and delivered pizzas when I didn't have class. This was on top of my day job. It was no picnic; I had a few meltdowns from being overworked and exhausted. You don't even need to go the school/degree route. We need skilled tradesmen. Pipe fitting, welding, carpentry, electrical work, etc... are always in need and they can provide a good quality of life.

My general view is fuck corporate loyalty. If you can jump ship and make more money elsewhere: do it. If you can't afford some recurring bill: stop paying it. You are more important than those business.

Look into assistance services now. Always be looking for a new job that will pay more. Identify a five year career goal and work toward it. It's not a today solution, but that was basically how I escaped being crushed by our system.

I wish you the best.

If you can, move back in with your parents

A lot of the good answers are already posted. I'll share my experience.

A bunch of people I know, including myself, rose out of retail hell through customer service jobs. My first one was making $55k/year (in 2023 dollars. This was a while ago because I'm old) and jumped decently after a year. Plus it was steady work at a desk with insurance. I switched to another company doing the same kind of thing after a year or two, and was able to transfer internally to IT. A couple years later I made the leap to engineering. I don't have a computer science degree. It was all experience and teaching myself.

A bunch of other friends took similar paths, and now have higher paying jobs.

But this was in new york city, where there are a lot of startups looking to hire people. And because the companies were small, the jobs weren't a cubicle hell where you read from a script. I got to actually help people troubleshoot when I was doing IT. That first job I could just talk to people like people.

I don't know how different it is now or in other parts of the country. I'm not sure how much the pandemic and AI hype has changed the market. But getting a first foot in the door is really helpful. You can meet people and get on the job experience.

A lot of job listings might require a college degree, but enough experience can be a substitute. Also knowing people helps a stupid, unfair, amount.

If you don't mind sharing, what education do you have, and what are you currently doing for work?

Ask for a raise. Find another job.

Keep a separate savings account. This won't increase your income but it's absolutely vital that you do this. I fully understand that you don't have money for this, but here's the idea: if you're already broke at the end of the month, then what difference does it make if you're broke one day earlier every month? Let's say you have a payout of €3000 monthly. That means you have €100 for each day of the month. Put €100 in a savings account and you'll go broke 1 day earlier, but you now have €100 saved for unexpected shit. Keep it up for a some months and you'll have enough saved to deal with moving/changing jobs etc. Eventually you'll adjust your expenses so you don't get broke even if you set the money aside. You can figure this out. This is how my wife and I saved up for our marriage. By going voluntary broke before it actually happened.

Okay, once you have some "financial security" saved up, do you have a budget account? Keep a budget account so you don't overspend. Only transfer the excess to your spending account, so you don't spend money that was supposed to pay for the rent/electricity/internet/food. Whatever is in excess is safe to spend.

If this is not possible, then your financial life isn't sustainable. Ask for a raise. Find a different job.

Gotta either cut costs or increase pay. When I was living on $600 a month I roommated up, I applied for food assistance (SNAP), I bought a shitty craigslist car rather than picking up a car note, and I stuck to cheap cell carriers.

The last one is a place a lot of people could save a few dollars. T-mobile has a plan called t-mobile connect that is $15 a month with a few gigs of data. Works fine. Actually still use it now that I have a better job.

Ultimately you need to make more though. Think about all the skills you’ve gained in food service and retail and apply for another job you think you’d be good at. Imo anyone can do low level office work, for example. Sounds like you’re in the US, so keep an eye on Craigslist and Idealist.org (two engines where the jobs available are usually actually available unlike most search engines). Make it a habit of scrolling through and forming an opinion about what you would/wouldn’t like. Make a resume to fit (use chat gpt to help). Lie about things you’re pretty sure you could handle no problem but have no experience with. Once you get a better job do the whole thing again with the new experience to pad your resume.

stress eat

I honestly just take as much care of myself as I can afford and hope for the best.

Can you donate plasma or white blood cells to the Red Cross? I go to their main center in Philadelphia and they pay $50 for a presceen appointment (1 hour) and $450 for the donation (3-4 hours).

What's your social network look like, OP? For people in your situation, your friends and family will have to be your safety net. Shared resources can also bring expenses down.

Same, I honestly think it will end up with becoming a thief for food, probably living hidden in a house that doesn't belong to me spend the time in a sleeping bag too hungry for move, waiting to dying.

This is going to be from my very American perspective on being broke. Your circumstances may be significantly different.

I used to be in your boat. I started working in the trades and being an apprentice at the same time. It wasn't amazing pay to start, but it was enough and significantly better than the minimum wage I'd been earning before.

The way I managed for years on minimum wage was the following:

1. Live with others. Spread the bills around, have some good times, and save money.

2. Food prep and creation. Spend a bit of money to save some time and effort. I own a rice cooker and a breadmaker. The rice cooker is a bit extra, but the breadmaker is wonderful. Just load in the ingredients, set it and let it go. You can go to work or whatever and come home to an awesome loaf of bread. Another lovely one is a slow cooker. I spent 2 hours and 12 lbs of chicken with other ingredients and made 7 meals for 2 prepped and in gallon bags that can just be dumped into the cooler and turned on.

3. Side work or donations. If you don't have family to rely on, another solid source of income is helping the elderly. 70+ year Olds often need help with daily tasks, from yard work to light bulb replacement. It may be a bit awkward to put yourself out there like that, but if you can put forward a decent enough impression at first, and you're honestly there to help, they will pay you a bit and be very thankful. As for how to find the elderly, either wander around or take on a political canvassing job. The listings for political flyers on where to go usually have an age listed with an address. You could also donate blood or plasma. It's very simple to do and (at least in my area) a quick way to get up to $100 per visit, which they allow up to 8 a month. Only annoying part of that is the diet restrictions. Hell, even a cooler with some Ice and bottles of water on the side of a road On a hot day can yield some mild results.

4. Couponing/second hand shopping/flea markets. Self explanatory. You can save quite a bit on food and some other stuff if you are willing to sacrifice your precious time to travel and hunt for deals.

5. {Risky} credit card. If you use it responsibly, there is free money to be had by spending money you were already planning to spend anyways. Getting a card with cash back, even with awful interest rates (mine is sitting around a lovely 26%) can be fundamental in earning you a bit over time. The way to do this is very simple. Pay for required items with the credit card, pay off the card at the weeks end. It doesn't do much for your credit score, but earning card points on money you already have to spend is the goal. The thing you want to avoid is having a remaining balance on that account near a pay period. If that even starts to get away from you, it won't be saving anything and actually costing you.

And finally 6. Government assistance. If you simply cannot make ends meet, applying for food stamps and/or medical insurance is something you should do. People generally don't want to think they need it or just don't know how to sign up for it. Having a bit of savings on food and at least some medical safety/help for any prescriptions is always useful.

The thing you will definitely run into as you more than likely know is a complete lack of free time.

I’m still living with my parents. I’m in my 30s. I’m unemployed. Yeah, I’m a failure.

I crash at my friend's house.

What do you do for a living?

You can try to check which expenses could be avoided, look for a better job, study to get a better one in your spare time, get a part time job, do some random tasks in Upwork, etc

You could also legally move to another country and work remotely, earning $1k USD/ month should suffice to have a decent lifestyle almost anywhere, although gentrification is becoming an issue in some places.

Coming back to the stress, you could talk to a therapist and see what could help that situation. Maybe some journaling and life planning could help you identify what's going on with your life and how you can deal with it.

What do you currently do for work? Are you open to changing careers?