this post was submitted on 31 Aug 2023
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[–] snooggums@kbin.social 97 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I am good with knowing my deficiencies. What sucks is being told that they are my fault because I should be "smart enough to overcome them".

[–] ButtholeSpiders@startrek.website 33 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Agreed 100%, being a specialist in something always has led to someone taking a pot shot at your deficiencies.

[–] snooggums@kbin.social 12 points 1 year ago

Or being a jack of all trades and getting potshots for not being an expert in everything just because you pick up the basics quickly.

[–] SolarNialamide@lemm.ee 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's actually insane how many teachers and other education professionals waved me off with 'you're smart enough, just try harder' while I was obviously suicidally depressed and extremely dysfunctional. Having undiagnosed autism because I was a teenage girl in the '00s was fun.

[–] lord_ryvan@ttrpg.network 4 points 1 year ago

Girls, undiagnosed autism, and suicidal tendencies? Name me a more iconic trio!

[–] pinkdrunkenelephants@sopuli.xyz 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

People who say that are just trying to be a dick to you. Say something soul-searing to them in response and they'll stop.

[–] snooggums@kbin.social 11 points 1 year ago

Most people just don't understand that being really good at something doesn't mean you can't be terrible at something else. Like, I can problem solve a wide variety of things, but there are a few things that I just have no success at even if I know the problem and the likely solution.

The most infuriating one for me is that if I can't see something then I cannot line it up right. A screw or bolt out of view means I have a 50/50 chance of ever getting it started even though I know how I can move it to fit in. Like I know to tilt and whatever, but without a visual frame it becomes impossible. A ton of people just yell me I am not trying hard enough, even though attempting to learn for decades hasn't worked out for me.

But with even the slightest view I can get it started no problem. Being told I am not trying hard enough is infuriating when I am just being honest that it is my limitation.

[–] whofearsthenight@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago

Ah, the ol' "here's the test here's exactly what you need to do to be successful" followed by "lol that was never the real test."

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 42 points 1 year ago

There's that joke about wearing regular clothes on Halloween to go as the "gifted kid", and when people ask what you're supposed to be you sigh and say you were supposed to be a lot of things.

[–] Kerrigor@kbin.social 38 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I'm in this picture and it makes me keenly aware of what I could accomplish if I didn't just coast by

[–] ButtholeSpiders@startrek.website 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Go with what makes you happiest, most often more effort can lead to less rewards. Ultimately you have to find your comfort zone.

[–] KreekyBonez@lemm.ee 8 points 1 year ago

wise words. I started just playing to my strengths a few years ago, instead of overachieving for the nebulous award of being "the best", and my life has gotten immensely more fulfilling.

my current employer isn't asking me to be the best in my field, just good at what I do, and that feels great. I get shit done, and don't feel the need to constantly reinvent the wheel. or feel the stress of failure when something is over my head.

AscendedMeme.jpg: Being Dumb | Being Gifted | Being Just Smart Enough to Coast by Easily in life while enjoying it.

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[–] Xylight@lemmy.xylight.dev 35 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (6 children)

Let's be honest, most of us think we're in the blue zone, when we are probably in the red zone

[–] lolcatnip@reddthat.com 33 points 1 year ago (1 children)

No, people in the red zone think they're in the green zone.

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[–] SolarNialamide@lemm.ee 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I had to do an official test along with a psychological examination for reasons when I was almost 18 years old, so I know at some point I was in the blue zone or above, but it doesn't really fucking matter when you have autism, a mood disorder and have been neglected by your parents so you never learned things like determination or frustration tolerance. I think I shaved a solid 10 IQ points off anyway from almost a decade of substance abuse issues, so now I'm just autistic and dysfunctional without the gifted part.

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[–] alcasa@lemmy.sdf.org 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Most likely most of us would be in the yellow zone

[–] Natanael@slrpnk.net 6 points 1 year ago

Look at the mathematician here

[–] original_ish_name@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In order to bother with something like lemmy, you're probably above average intelligence (specifically to do with computers)

[–] MBM@lemmings.world 4 points 1 year ago

You can be good with computers but dumb everywhere else, plenty of people like that exist

[–] Voli@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 year ago

Sometimes we wish that our impostors syndrome was true

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[–] talizorah@kbin.social 30 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I still suffer from this. Promising early start, intense self-confidence issues and depression by the end.

[–] Cube6392 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The secret is we're all gifted and talented in our own ways. Our society is structured to benefit and work for a specific kind of gifted and talented. You got to an early start, and then when it was determined your talents weren't profitable, the problem was framed as you wasting them instead or the system failing you.

Not to mention our current identification of gifted and talented is basically just "So you know how that one kid has ADHD and his lack of structure in their home life results in poor grades? Well we put them in the remedial class. There we will teach them coping and organization skills. Meanwhile, this other kid? They also have ADHD but we don't realize it because their grades are fantastic. Turns out their home life is stressful in a specific way that means they get good grades, but they don't really know why or what structure is helping them. I school we will put them in the gifted and talented class. There, they'll be in an unstructured environment where they can learn and explore at their own pace and OH NO NOW THEY'RE ANXIOUS AND UPSET BECAUSE THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO BECAUSE THEY WERE THRIVING IN THE STRUCTURE OF A REGULAR CLASSROOM"

Our education system is not based on individual need and instead on assuming everyone is basically the same, just more or less advanced

[–] talizorah@kbin.social 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I definitely identify with the second kid. Being tossed around so much because they tried to figure me out and failed definitely doesn't help. "You're good! But not good enough."

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[–] Franzia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 25 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

This is funny, but even the most intelligent people are inflicted with this. Don't let it keep you down, we cannot be good at everything.

Its been consistently self-reported by Harvard students. And another effect is present, too - excellence leads to being placed in competitive environments, where everyone else is just as excellent. And this can make brilliant people feel stupid.

[–] relevants@feddit.de 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Intelligence also doesn't necessarily translate to actual success. I've been through numerous assessments as a child that confirmed I am comfortably in the "green zone" (if measured by IQ, that is), but I also have pretty severe ADHD so I can only really make use of my brain for short periods of time.

I can get a week's worth of work done in a day, but only once a week, and I spend the rest of the week wondering where I'd be if only I could work like that every day. I was also a decent student in school/uni but never near the top of the class, because I couldn't bring myself to study for anything more than a few days before the exam.

[–] Noughmad@programming.dev 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

No we're not, you're just in the blue zone. Us greens are quite happy.

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[–] TimewornTraveler@lemm.ee 22 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Did you know that 80% of people think they're above average intelligence?

[–] mayo@lemmy.today 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I think a good part of that is because 'average human' is not a good way to represent who we are individually. I'm probably above average at specific things but in many other respects I'm average or below or wherever I'm supposed to be. Maybe most people are above average even though on average most of us are average.

Fully above average people IMO are like astronauts and stuff. We all live in the shadow of that former navy seal/doctor/astronaut who is like 45 or some crazy shit.

This really depends on the distribution. If some or all of the people in that bottom 20% are very, very stupid it could actually work out that 80% are above average, because the average is being pulled down by the people at the bottom.

This is why we have different averages like mean, median, mode, and RMS because they each give you different interpretations of the raw data. For example the mean electro motive force of the grid is around 0 volts because it spends as much time in the negative as the positive. We use RMS here because negative numbers become positive when squared.

[–] RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ah, I see the stereotype of everyone thinking of themselves as "lazy genius" is something we've carried over from Reddit. We're all above average intelligent and could really achieve something if we just bothered to work hard and apply ourselves!

lol

[–] DrGumby@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago

Yeah, one of the most important epiphanies I've ever had is realizing I'm not a lazy genius, I'm just lazy. It was a rude awakening to realize that I need to work twice as hard to keep up. But it was probably the best thing to happen to me!

[–] ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling@lemmy.dbzer0.com 22 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Fun fact: programs for gifted kids have historically been far more underfunded than programs for other exceptional students.

By the way, the euphemism of "exceptional children" pleases my autistic brain way more than any other word for Special Education students. It has all the compliment-sounding qualities of "Special Needs" but is even more literal than any previous euphemism. It literally means "kids that teachers need to make exceptions for"

[–] Misconduct@startrek.website 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

"Gifted" programs royally screwed my education. I had huge gaps in my knowledge because they decided that being top percentile in reading/writing (and being the weird kid) meant I could just skip out on classes for special little weird classes or sit with higher grade classes. I just had ADHD btw and really liked to read. Anyway, I would LOVE to know wtf they thought they were doing moving a kid around that much in 3rd-5th. I suffered the hardest with math. I was missing bits and pieces, which is pretty gd important in math, and I'd still somehow get the answers right but talked to about my overly complicated or ✨creative✨ solutions lol. Even now I hide my work if I need to solve something because I'm probably doing it weird... Then later it was really fun finding out that I couldn't really live up to being "gifted". 0/10 being special made me less educated.

[–] cheery_coffee@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 year ago

For what it's worth, math can be taught very linearly, but I think it can be explored and approached many different ways. I did the same thing, the teachers would say "I don't know how, but you got the right answer".

I kind of wish we leaned more into the way individual kids intuitions of math worked, I think you could teach the foundations much faster that way.

3-5 is mostly arithmetic and intro to word problems anyway, I'm awful at arithmetic but it doesn't affect doing any of the important parts of math.

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[–] IntentionallyAnon@lemm.ee 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I wish my iq was 20 higher or lower, idk just gimme out of the blue zone

[–] Captain_Ender@kbin.social 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The older I get the more I profoundly identify with Cypher. Ignorance truly is bliss.

I say it regularly, I would prefer to be ignorant… At least then I wouldn’t be hyper aware our species stinks.

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago

Seriously, sweet ignorance and the woman in the red dress, every day.

I get what you mean… though, I feel like an IQ test is a biased test, I took one as a teenager and scored high. Which was a morale boost at the time, but a few months later I had medical problems and ended up having a stroke and had to basically start all over with speech, motor and memory.

Sure, I survived. But I went through every therapy, started back up and realized I wasn’t close to what I was before. Which was crushing, sure I knew it wouldn’t be the same and I’m still above average, but the latent memories of my capabilities before constantly haunt me.

I didn’t mean to depress anyone, just enjoy the blue zone if at all possible. I constantly try remembering, it can get worse. /hug

[–] MonkderZweite@feddit.ch 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Awareness of your own weaknesses is the first step to make them your strengths.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Yes, this is funny, but anyone worth knowing in a PhD program will quote Hawkings at you if you take the green part too seriously.

"Only losers brag about their IQ."

Or Thomas Edison (and yes, he was actually a decent engineer before he realized how much easier it is to just own a company)

"Great accomplishments depend not so much on ingenuity as on hard work."

[–] Zatore@lemm.ee 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don't mind being aware of everything, but I do mind that nobody else is

As you get older, you sort of get used to the fact that the majority of your fellow passengers are oblivious to the fact we’re on a bus speeding towards a cliff, driven by depravity and delusions of grandeur. And you realize short of a miracle, nothing is going to change it. It’s either that or you go mad. ¯\(ツ)

[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 7 points 1 year ago

Like I'm even good enough to have imposter syndrome.

[–] ultra@discuss.online 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

The first 3 are the flag of Romania :) 🇹🇩

Edit: (but reversed)

[–] be_excellent_to_each_other@kbin.social 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Had the top conversation in third grade. Have spent the rest of my life in the blue zone.

[–] ButtholeSpiders@startrek.website 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I avoided it by coasting, they did testing in kindergarten and I realized fast I didn’t want the attention. Especially being treated like a trophy by my dad.

Do I regret coasting now, of course. Do it for your self-confidence, later in life you’ll be happier you did.

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[–] TimeSquirrel@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago

Yeah, the less stupid you are, the more you realize how stupid you really are.

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