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I Am a Monster Hell Bent on Destroying Earth, but Humans Are More Concerned That I’m a Lesbian (www.mcsweeneys.net)

submitted 1 year ago by distractedcactus to c/lgbtq_plus

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An illustration of humans being able to focus on the actual problem in a crisis. ~/s~

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[–] frog 17 points 1 year ago

Well, in fairness, humans are doing a pretty good job of destroying every living thing on Earth already, so a monster doing it too isn't really that noteworthy, I guess. But nobody ever thinks that a monster could also be a lesbian. Monsters suffer from "straight male is the default" syndrome too.

In all seriousness, this story made me giggle. Loved it!

[–] upstream 10 points 1 year ago

Reminds me of a joke from back in the day, can’t bother to update it:

President George W. and Colin Powell are drinking in a pub close Old Town Square in Prague. A guy walks in and asks the bartender,"Isn't that Bush and Powell sitting over there?" The barman says, "Yep, that's them."

So the guy walks over and says, "Wow,this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?"

Bush says, "We're planning WW III," and the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"

Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 40 million Iraqis this time and one blonde with big breasts."

A little perplexed the guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big breasts? Why kill a blonde with big breasts?"

Bush turns to Powell, punches him on the shoulder and says, "See, smart ass?! I told you no one would worry about the 40 million Iraqis.