this post was submitted on 14 Jun 2023
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How do you Haiku? (self.writing)
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by LostInSpaaaace to c/writing
 

Share a haiku about your day!

A moment of peace,

That's all that I'm asking for,

Please go to bed now.

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[–] PascalPistachios 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

My fingerprints lost

In the dishwashers water

My phone stays locked.

[–] LostInSpaaaace 3 points 1 year ago

I laughed out loud at this one. Nice.

[–] AstralWeekends@lemm.ee 6 points 1 year ago

Car brought to the shop,

dented, scratched, needing repair.

Aren't we all, sometimes?

[–] woteorin 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Two trips to the store—
Because I forgot TP—
Under a warm sun.

[–] sweetcuppincakes@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Stressed out about work, but at least today I had breakfast for dinner

[–] neamhsplach 2 points 1 year ago

There's something really relaxing about this one. I love it.

[–] slampisko@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Haha, this applies to me too!

[–] neamhsplach 1 points 1 year ago

I know I already commented on this, but this really stuck in my head since I read it. I feel like I could write an essay about it! About accepting pain and stress for what they are and finding joys in small things. Also how absurdity and playfulness can cheer us up by putting something where it shouldn't normally be (breakfast for dinner). It reminded me of a Joyce short story in Dubliners where a character had "the newspaper for dessert". In this case the character was being shown as devoid of all the little joys in life. You've done the opposite in your haiku by putting something decadent and sweet in the place of the sensible and savoury. There's something cheeky and bold about it, like you're a young adult who's just moved out of their parents' house finally trying out ice cream for breakfast.

I love how you turned a difficult situation into a humorous one with the simple line "but at least today...". It makes me want to look for more "at least todays" in my own life.

I like how in the end, the problem isn't resolved, but the last two lines provide respite. It's an invitation to take a break from whatever is stressing us out, even for a moment. That can be an extremely hard thing to do, but you've made it so simple just by saying "at least today..."

What a gorgeous part of your day to share. Thank you!

[–] neamhsplach 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Aren't the birds lovely,

Atop the sycamore tree

Singing their hearts out?

[–] LostInSpaaaace 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Sounds like you had a beautiful morning so far.

[–] neamhsplach 2 points 1 year ago

Definitely one of my better mornings :)

[–] isosphere 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Chickadees dee-dee

Engines demand attention

Today I am quiet

[–] Tin 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I wrote a haiku
In the dada style, but it's
A little creepy

...

This is a true story. I compose dadaist poetry (I use a method similar to Burroughs' cut-up method, so phrases rather than single words, usually) and sometimes I do haikus. I composed a random haiku for this prompt but it came out much darker than I anticipated, so I wrote the above one the old fashioned way, and I'll share that instead.

[–] LostInSpaaaace 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm not familiar with dadaist writing. I can't speak for others but I'd like to hear your haiku.

[–] Tin 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Dadaist poetry is random. In its purest form one would choose a source (like an article or book) and cut out all the individual words, drawing them randomly to write. I use a cut-up method similar to the one used by Burroughs to write The Soft Machine, which uses entire phrases and not individual words.

To make a haiku, additional editing is often needed (omitting words from the chosen phrase, usually).

Here are a couple of dadaist haikus I've composed. I've decided not to keep the one I referenced because it was just too dark.

bumf*ck

washed tobacco road signs of potential quarry and more on the way

youth

last night the snow fell something of no consequence has happened to me

[–] LostInSpaaaace 2 points 1 year ago

Really interesting. Thanks for sharing.

[–] emergencylasagna 3 points 1 year ago

Take my kids to school,

Make food in a factory

Pizzas and pasta.

[–] neamhsplach 1 points 1 year ago

Stressed out about work, but at least today I had breakfast for dinner

[Tried to comment on the original but it wouldn't work]

I know I already commented on this, but this really stuck in my head since I read it. I feel like I could write an essay about it! About accepting pain and stress for what they are and finding joys in small things. Also how absurdity and playfulness can cheer us up by putting something where it shouldn't normally be (breakfast for dinner). It reminded me of a Joyce short story in Dubliners where a character had "the newspaper for dessert". In this case the character was being shown as devoid of all the little joys in life. You've done the opposite in your haiku by putting something decadent and sweet in the place of the sensible and savoury. There's something cheeky and bold about it, like you're a young adult who's just moved out of their parents' house finally trying out ice cream for breakfast.

I love how you turned a difficult situation into a humorous one with the simple line "but at least today...". It makes me want to look for more "at least todays" in my own life.

I like how in the end, the problem isn't resolved, but the last two lines provide respite. It's an invitation to take a break from whatever is stressing us out, even for a moment. That can be an extremely hard thing to do, but you've made it so simple just by saying "at least today..."

What a gorgeous part of your day to share. Thank you!