I totally relate to being caught on the backfoot by sudden loss of competence. For me the loss of competence feels like a loss of value. And oof the overwhelm at simple to-do lists. I absolutely lost my shit yesterday, about how life is just doing tasks until you die.
this post was submitted on 12 Jun 2023
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Menopause
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'Menopause isn't really that bad'...said no woman ever.
For those who are approaching or experiencing 'the change' (think reverse puberty), a time where hormone levels decline either through the aging process or by medical/surgical means.
Menopause and Perimenopause (the transitional time before Menopause) are unique to every person, and while there's no one-size fits all, we support each other on this roller coaster ride of wacked out hormones, absurd mood swings and random sweaty hot flashes.
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I have this sad conversation with myself multiple times a week :( hang in there
Great article. Unravelling is a perfect description of what we're experiencing.
Has anyone read the book listed in the article? What’s Wrong With me? 101 Things Midlife Women Need to Know. Might be a good one to add to the list.
I think I might have to check out this book as well, have u read it already?
“ambushed by a sudden inability to deal with stress” wow, exactly. This is fascinating, thank you for sharing! I’ve only very recently learned all my “I’m def going crazy” new traits I was investigating are perimenopause, and that I’m not losing my mind or “definitely dying” (anxiety is winning as one of the top symptoms). But I had not yet tied my complete inability to handle even the smallest stressor to it yet! I was a freaking Major Incident Manager for 10 years, someone people called in a major crisis when things were really going sideways at my large company, and now I unravel if my kid forgets their thermos or spills their milk. This is helpful, thank you! It’s unfortunate that it sounds like finally getting onto HRT won’t fix this piece, but at least it helps to have an explanation
MHT/HRT will help with a lot of symptoms, but you're right, it's not going to make everything feel better all the time. Exercising regularly definitely helps and of course getting a good night's sleep, but we know that's not always possible either.
I sure am starting to feel this way. Not that I ever was put together but things have gotten harder the last year or so. And from what you all are saying it's going to get worse. Bleh! At least I found this community instead of going in blind.
Same! Still in it. Hoping I'll get into the swing of older-age one of these days.
Definitely relate to article, I had a best friend for 20 years that occasionally would annoy me with negative/critical comments which I would easily/quickly move on from. When I hit my mid 40's my threshold for stress got lower and lower and I became increasingly "triggered" by her comments. I became unable to tolerate anything she said and had to completely cut off the relationship.
Does someone in your family have ADHD? Might seem odd to ask but something most people don't know is that the symptoms of ADHD tend to get worse with menopause. Estrogen help to keep ADHD in check but when it drops so does the symptoms get worse.
Same thing can be noted before starting menstruation so women with ADHD might need a higher dose of their meds during that time.
It's not odd to ask at all! I am late-diagnosed with ADHD and ASD, and yes, my symptoms did get worse with menopause. It was actually the worsening of my symptoms that led me to seek diagnosis.
Great to hear that you got diagnosed. It's not always the easiest thing to do, get done and/or finding a good doctor.
I'm wondering about this myself because I have always had issues with things but the past year has just been...out of control I guess? Some things my boss said to me after almost getting fired kind of got me thinking. I don't know, I've looked into it and want to at least get checked. Just in case. And I am pretty sure I have dyscalculia I've never gotten diagnosed with so might do that too.
How did you even go about getting a diagnosis at a later age if I might ask. I've read it can be hard. I know I need to go see a doctor for physical stuff and might ask to see a therapist but the mental health kind of sucks with my insurance and hospital group. It's been years. Somebody needs to drag me there kicking and screaming like a toddler. Lol. Been trying to make myself make an appointment for the past 4 months.
How did you even go about getting a diagnosis at a later age
I live in Toronto, and there is an (free) adult neurodevelopmental clinic in my city. I'm very fortunate.
I feel like I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown and I know it’s because of my ADHD and peri menopause; not to sound dramatic but I honestly have been feeling like I might not make it out of this and will be another statistic, I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I was once hospitalized after a miscarriage for this same feeling; of course I was sad about the miscarriage but this and that is a different kind of feeling, it’s not a sad because of loss feeling; I feel empty inside, can’t sleep (for over 10 years), I can’t function, feel hollow inside, brain fog that is almost inexplainable, joint pain, you name it. I now know this is hormones but doesn’t stop me from wishing to not wake up; I have been dealing with these hormone issues my whole life and add the ADHD to it and I honestly feel like, game over, I’m done, someone please take me out.
I’m sorry things have been so tough for you, that sucks :(