cross-posted from: https://lemm.ee/post/57579403
If anyone needs a transcript I'll write it.
Teleport 7in away, un governable
this post was submitted on 07 Mar 2025
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How does the free gravel thing work? Can I just summon it in a location of my choice? Or is there a guy who delivers it to me?
It spawns in your gizzard
Gravel ofc. Just imagine being able to provide every construction site on earth with cheap gravel with no cost at all. I'd be the first billionaire on earth who didn't fuck other people over to be absurdly rich.
3 for sure. Depending on how teleporting into other objects works, and how fast you can spam it, you could get some serious work done with a power like that.
Would need the details on some of these.
- The empty container depends on the definition of "container" and "empty". If a house is a container for people it's easy to rob when empty. If you have to be looking at an airless vacuum it's dogshit. Otherwise I'm sure you could make money with a creative gambling scheme.
- Gravel for life, like an infinite bucket full? Or the typical "for life" shit where you just get one trailer full dumped in your driveway every year for 60 years. Probably an overrated pick.
- Teleporting is almost certainly the best pick. Is there a cool down? Do you keep momentum? Can it be in any direction? Does it take the same effort as walking? If you can spam it at the speed thought, you're now flying. Even with a CD you could be a world class athlete in a lot of sports. Or just do simple stuff like reach a high shelf or teleport out of handcuffs.
Wait did you just take all of them?
Can I use .3 as some sort of short-range contiguous Alcubierre drive, by using it repeatedly very fast?
Teleporting 7 inches still sounds kinda badass, would be very useful in a fight or you could just stand and repeatedly teleport to recreate that OK GO video.
Number 7 might let you cheat at some carnival/gambling games. Which of these 1000 boxes has the million dollars in it? The one I can't see through, of course!
Play carnival game
Guess the box!
Only one box isn't empty
Open it
Tissue paper
"Better luck next time!"
But.. no container is truly empty.
Usually they contain air, but even in space there'd be one or two molecules banging around inside.
You'd never see anything.
I shall abuse these toaster powers thoroughly and for my own amusement. Every toaster on the planet will go off at the same time!
If I grow a second nose, will it also be stuffed up? If so, I choose teleportation. I know it's only 7 inches but that's enough to get around most doors so it's still useful.
Both noses will be running all the time, but just as fast as the noses of Albert Einstein.
That depends on how thick both you and the door are. Still, its probably the best one there.
I COULD DO SO MUCH MORE COCAINE WITH ANOTHER NOSE
I feel as though there is money making opportunity in 8. The language is dead? Nobody alive who can speak the language, so I'd have more or less free reign to profit off of being the only person who could speak it.
Sure but selling gravel has instant world wide business opportunities. Gravel is the better money making option.
Eh, the easier money making scheme of selling gravel just seems boring to me
Good luck finding someone to talk to
Best case scenario, I find some linguist willing to pay me to help with their understanding of the language. Worst case scenario, I'm the only person who can speak this language.
Also, if nothing else, I could impress people by being the only person in the world who speaks a specific language.
A manga artist would find a way to make one of these the most op power in their entire universe. "I can fill anyones lungs with gravel with just a thought" or " i teleported 5 cms into you and severed a nerve in your spine that paralyzes you for life"
I could turn a lil profit off the gravel, surely.
3 will get you past most any locked door or fence.
Only if you are thinner than 7" minus the thickness of the door. Otherwise, you would teleport right into the door, which (I assume) might be quite painful.
Good point.. It's not as far as I thought
EAsy way to lose weight though. Who needs weak flesh amiright
You can just teleport 7 inches backwards after lunch. As the contents of your stomach isn't you, it will stay inert and fall to the floor. You can eat all you want if you don't have to digest it.
Just remember to stand up beforehand or you'll end up intermingled with your chair having chewed up cheeseburger all over your lap.
Speaking a dead language would be cool. Maybe teach it to others and read into the history, etymology and people of it. Talk to historians and what not.
toaster control, if there's no limits I can fire toast as fast as a bullet
for me 🤔it's a toss up between 1 and 2.
1 can lead me to pearls = money 2 I can create a gravel for sale business = money.
I guess I choose 1 just to communicate with something weird. 2 is the easier one.
There's no rule saying I can't pick more than one so
2, 3, 5, 6, 7, 8
- and scan the sam artists with their cups back!
Control the toaster in a smart home that's connected to the system and hack into the security system to kill the inhabitants and hand over the building to homeless and mutual aid organizations #eattherich