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What is the appropriate way to convince humans to invite me into their home? (self.askbeehaw)

submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by ErsatzCoalButter to c/askbeehaw

13 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I have seen so many different approaches to ingress be responded to by Lemmings as inappropriate or creepy, much of it hypocritical to other responses, but I digress: is there ANY appropriate way that everyone can agree on for convincing humans to invite you past their threshold?

From the collective consciousness of Lemmy comments I have read, my impression is that the only appropriate thing is to be born into a coterie with thralls already and never make any moves or even so much as look at a human in your unlifetime.

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[–] Cruxifux@feddit.nl 26 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I feel like a vampire wrote this

[–] ErsatzCoalButter 42 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Could you maybe tone down your user name, I'm finding it hard to look directly at.

[–] Cruxifux@feddit.nl 17 points 2 weeks ago

There isn’t an upvote button hard enough for me to express how much I love your reply my man

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 15 points 2 weeks ago

Nice try, vampire. I'm not giving you permission to enter my home.

[–] watson387@sopuli.xyz 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Go to rural US, knock on the door and tell them you'd like to discuss their love for Trump. They'll invite you right in.

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[–] hermano@feddit.org 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

It is not worth bothering. Humans have a test where they show their teeth to each other. Sometimes accompanied by a hoh hoh sound. If you do not pass this they will not invite you to their private chambers.

[–] hendrik@palaver.p3x.de 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

~~Is this some spam by a bot or a genuine question?~~

https://lemm.ee/post/51368945

[–] UngodlyAudrey 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Seems to be a joke poking fun at the other post. I'm not bothered by this, but if people start making a bunch of these, I'll ask them to stop.

[–] hendrik@palaver.p3x.de 1 points 2 weeks ago

Thanks for explaining the joke to me. I'm slowly starting to doubt Lemmy's intellect... But yes, this seems to be a pun (fortunately).

[–] deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

LOL/cringe/LOL/cringe/LOL/cringe/LOL/cringe ... ad infinitum

[–] SweetCitrusBuzz 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

are you okay?

[–] deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz 1 points 2 weeks ago

That linked list was... something else.

[–] exploitedamerican@lemm.ee 3 points 2 weeks ago

Ask if they have a bush or tree you can urinate or defecate on lmao.