Asklemmy

I've struggled with putting my thoughts into words almost my whole life. Only in the last 2-3 years I started to actually get better (I'm 28 soon).

What could help is

• If you managed to find words for a thought write them down somewhere (I used phone notes for this)
• Not sure about this one, but maybe reading books out loud might help (doesn't have to be with anyone present)

I did both of these occasionally, but I think what actually helped me here was LSD, which I don't recommend unless you've properly researched the (side-) effects, are aware of all the risks and have trusted source to get it from.

You're dealing with both impediments and social issues here. This would be difficult for anyone. I highly suggest professional help, but if it's not available or you are unwilling, the next best thing would be to understand you're going to need to fail a lot with intentions of getting better, and it may never happen. I'm rooting for you.

Edit: To clarify, speech therapy and general therapy are what you will benefit from.

I'm Indigenous Canadian and I grew up in a semi remote community where my family only spoke our Ojibway/Cree language. That was my first language for about the first ten years of my life.

I went to school and learned English and could understand it from a young age but I never needed to speak it.

At 14 I had to go high school in a city where everyone spoke English and I didn't. I could understand everyone but I had a hell of a hard time speaking or even to be heard. My brain knew what to say but my mouth parts were so out of practice that I couldn't speak properly or be understood. The software was working 100% but the hardware didn't cooperate.

I had a hard time speaking English all through my teen years. I didn't get comfortable with it until about 20. Even after that I spent about another five / ten years before I got fully comfortable with the language. I'm almost 50 now and I can comfortably speak English now and I have no problem making myself heard. Sad part is that in all that time, I've lost some of my ability to speak my Indigenous language.

Basically it's just practice and sticking with it. You won't sound right or you won't sound good for a few years but keep at it. Make mistakes, make yourself sound goofy or silly ... who cares ... keep practicing and eventually you'll get better with it. It took me a long time because I just don't like interacting with people. I saw others like me who were more extroverted pick up the language a lot faster and within a year or two just become as normal of a speaker as anyone else.

Practise ... it's like saying you want to learn to sing ... you won't be good at it at first so you have to practice and not be afraid to fail and fail often ... keep at it and eventually you'll be just as good at speaking as anyone else.

One really neat trick is to slow down and even pause words. This really helps me get my point across.

Learn new languages. Learn to code.

May not solve your problem, but will help.

Also, read books.

If you legitimately speak like xQc, the first thing I'd tell you is to slow the hell down. That guy would probably get as much information out in the same amount of time, but easier to understand, if he just didn't try speaking that fast. Last I heard it, even his québécois french was slurred.

As to finding the right words when speaking, it tends to come with knowing your subject well enough, and having decent vocabulary.

Past that, if you do struggle with the very act of translating ideas into the physical act of speaking, it could be a speech disorder which could likely benefit from speech therapy.

I talk like xQc

Just looked up this guy and this seems obvious, Twitch.tv is the inverse of literacy and coherence. Stop fucking gaming and watching streams.

Practice by reading out loud slowly and enunciating like you want a child to understand you. Do the same with others' speeches, as they were written to be said out loud. If they are recorded in an accent that is in the neighborhood of your goal, even better - you can practice talking exactly like a recording.

Even though this isn't off-the-cuff speaking, you will likely adopt verbal patterns that let your words flow more freely.

You can also join clubs that are dedicated to speaking to other people. If all else fails, something like toastmasters, though that's specifically about public speaking.

If this doesn't go well, that's also okay. You might want to look into a speech therapist if practice doesn't help.

Speech pathology for the stutter and the slip. You can find some free help online but be careful, trying to fix speech issues on your own can make things worse in some cases. If you can, seek professional input.

I've done toastmasters a long time a go, and it really benefits me till today.

I as a teen worked in a retail computer store Having to constantly interact with people really give you a sense of being able to communicate better. That or any job where you have to teach someone something.

Given the context of your post, I would suggest starting with the basics. Taking the time to learn how to write properly may give you some ability to speak properly.

I have a really pacific issue

I don't know if this is typo or if you think your issue is as big as the ocean.

I talk like xQc irl

🤣 Sorry not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you. I kinda felt that.

Remember that in real life, conversations isn't like in movies. Dialogue isn't so perfect with flowery proses. Real conversations often have incomplete sentences, a lot of "um..." filler words. And there often like frequent pauses when my brain just has to process thoughts before I can say it. Life is like that, is normal.

What made me less anxious and just go "IDGAF" is just I realized that I am a mortal being and I will eventually die, I kinda had an existential crisis for a while, then I was just like: if everyone just dies, all embarassing moments just gets forgotten

Like you can piss yourself or shit your pants, look foolish in a live audience of millions of people, say stupid things... whatever. Doesn't matter, everything is temporary. Being a bit nihilistic just allow you to be yourself. Nothing matter anyways, do what you feel like (except harming others, don't harm other living being please).

I mean not to get political, but just look at politicians say stupid things all the time.

The president of the US fell down a bunch of staird, people laughed, the internet memed it a bit, everyone kinda just went on.

And most of us doesn't have the whole world watching is. If I fell down a bunch of stairs, most people that saw it would just forget very soon. Samething with speech, as long as you don't say anything thats bigoted, nobody care about speech mistakes.

TLDR: Life is short, do whatever you want as long as it doesn't harm other living beings. Make mistakes all you want, doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

Not sure if related, but this might help