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Started a friendship with a classmate, he was bit of a know-it-all, we were discussing some esoteric stuff and he laid out his theory I said "ah that's BS", and gave my reasons. Then he got very uptight and ended our friendship there and then, and escorted me out of his apartment.
Very strange experience.
Edit: It's one of those cases you recall and think "Was it me that were the stupid one there?"
I had a friend from high school that was a compulsive liar. we were friends for probably ~10 years and I never said anything because his lies were never hurtful lies. They were usually to entertain and were so obvious that any halfway intelligent person could spot them from a mile away. Fast forward to our early 20s and we're working security together. When I drive him home after a shift one day he started telling a story about how some guys tried to rob him with a knife outside his apartment but he turned the tables and took their knife and broke the guys arm in the process before they ran off. I finally asked him "what really happened?" and he looked at me hurt and didn't say anything. I later felt like a dick but his lies were growing in grandiosity to the point of offending some other people we worked with. A few months later he takes a shift with our supervisor who also happened to be a classmate and my buddy very intentionally fell asleep at the desk in the security office while using a second chair as a leg rest as the supervisor was doing a walking patrol of the building. Anyways, our supervisor came back and saw our buddy so the supervisor opened an emergency exit setting off the security alarm to see if he'd get up and respond. He did not. -That was my buddie's last shift. The following evening he texted me with some false explanation for why he was terminated. My response was "Dude, you were recorded on 3 different surveillance cameras sleeping next to the table we all watch the cameras on."
I didn't know that was the last time we'd talk. Less than 6 months later he had a bachelor party and a wedding neither of which I was invited to.
It's been bizarre realizing people are (likely) pathological liars (alor at least massive bullshitters). It's like, wow, you sure do seem to always have an interesting story to tell in every situation. Every situation.
It's uncanny how similar your story is to mine: I once had a friend with a similar tendency to embiggen reality... he started with lightly embroidering his stories, but over the years the fantasy took more and more precedence until you weren't sure what was left of reality. It happened so gradually none of us knew how to react, should we burst his bubble? somehow it always seemed too harsh a reaction. One day he came to visit and said the most awful lies about our common friends... I never saw him again. Last I heard of him he had wholeheartedly subscribed to fascist ideas such as eugenics, etc. He's persuaded himself he is the most clever guy to ever live and he's unfit to live in this world necause nobody understands his genius. He's early thirties!
He sounds like the kind of guy who'd say they worked in the CIA or MI5. "Uhhh, people who actually work in those organizations NEVER tell you they work for those organizations. It is intelligence 101."
Pathological lying and grandiosity are trademarks of psychopathic behavior also.
I've read similar things about lying being associated with anti-social personality disorders. Narcissism is also a common reason, but either way I'm confident he posessed empathy. I typically lean in the other direction that he was deeply insecure but also not the smartest. The stuff that offended colleagues (who were combat vets) was that he started making up stories about his time in the marines even though in reality he was discharged halfway through bootcamp. I asked him why he was discharged more than once and he gave me a different medical reason each time.
A friend tried to get me into Amway. I heckled him and refused.
He asked me again and I was more serious this time. I said no, and threatened if he asked me ever again it was the last he'd speak to me.
He asked again. I said "remember how I said we wouldn't be friends if you kept proselytizing that shit to me?", to which he replied, "yeah, but lemme sketch this out to you because it's awesome." Like, he wasn't sorry and he still tried to bring me onboard.
I left. Didn't speak to him for 31 years. He died in COVID.
My dad has a friend try to talk him into amway sometime in the late 80s/early 90s. He had painted a pyramid shape onto cinder blocks in his basement to explain the revenue stream and everything.
He said no, but that friend ended up high enough in a payment chain that heβs still rich as sin, and my dad got to be one of the scant few that turned down what wouldβve actually been a lucrative business venture in a pyramid scheme.
On fools day he posted a picture of himself and a baby in Facebook with the tag "presenting my baby to everyone" I commented that congratulations for losing his virginity, that it took a while but it's look like it was worth it. He blocked me and never spoke to me again. I tried to contact him a couple of times, we were best friends on primary school and keep in touch even after graduation high school, but we never talked again after that. I can't even count the amount of times I talked about that with my therapist, until I just moved on. Hope he have a happy life.
tangential but, when i was teenage-ish i had a friend of a friend that was always kind of standoffish with me. iβm a people pleaser so i was always looking for some way to connect with this guy, but i reckon that was coming across in a weird/bad way.
anyway at one point i found out we had the same birthday, year and everything! i thought it was pretty neat, but he thought i was lying. i got really insistent because from my perspective i had no reason to lie about something so mundane, and ig that rubbed him the wrong way because iirc he never spoke to me again.
We started a business together and after landing our first client together (not one we brought in as a pre existing relationship) we went out drinking to celebrate. We both drank the same stuff, same amounts (and I've had far more before), yet I was more fucked than ever, to the point I'm convinced the dude drugged me. I have 0 memory of leaving the bar, going 5 blocks away after calling our ride, gashing my head open (twice), or how I was "so limp I could barely stand let alone walk" none of which sounds like me when I'm drunk at ALL
He also spent that whole time shit talking me to my wife, something he's previously done to other "friends" he felt were leaving him for significant others
Cocaine laced with fentanyl. OD'd in the bathtub. Wasn't even (remotely) a regular user; just having a little extra fun on New Years. Was about to finalize the adoption of his and his wife's baby girl too
Another one from alcohol, fell asleep in the bath
Another one from an undiagnosed heart condition
Another from a peritoneal infection from peritoneal dialysis (they had sickle cell)
My sister from benzos and falling asleep in the bath
All of them in their 30's. Been a difficult few years of losing friends/family for me, ngl
Good lord what a hand you've been dealt. My sympathies.
I really appreciate it. All will always be well, in the end. It just can get rough sometimes, but storms pass one way or another. Thank you though
That's really rough. I hope you are doing OK and taking care of yourself.
I am doing ok, and thank you. I try my best to take care of myself and have gotten much better at identifying/modifying maladaptive coping methods. It's always a work in progress lol
I've worked around a lot of death as an ICU nurse, which I think has helped me with a little insight into "how to process". You're never ready when it's someone you love and especially when it's sudden, but seeing other people go through it regularly can give you a different view sometimes, I believe. But thank you again friend
All living in the same locality ?
No, everyone was pretty much spread out across three different US states. Just unfortunate happenstance (and timing, really)
This is ages ago, invited me to an MLM event without telling me it's MLM. I've experienced cult that night.
He became a Qanon ass licking dumbfuck and a pro Trump cum sandwich.
Also, we are French so his savior isnβt able to place us on a map.
Dude became an outspoken anti vaxxer, tin foil hat wearing plandemic twat.
The final nail was when he shows up at our business out of the blue one day (literally had not spoken with him in almost a year) where he had left some oil paintings & other artwork to pick them up, then sent a shitty passive aggressive text the next day about how they were not kept in perfect condition.
My dude, you left them without a word otherwise over 4 years ago, we have shit to do besides take care of discarded art.
Worst example is friend who, after being hospitalized for accident while car surfing, died car surfing again. I wasn't present for either event.
Second worst is dude with head injury (unrelated) started talking about crystals and toxins and juice fasting. Called him out one day, and it was catastrophic. This one is still alive, at least AFAIK.
Third, divorce. You will find out who your real friends are when you get divorced.
Third, divorce. You will find out who your real friends are when you get divorced.
When my ex- and I were going through a divorce, they didn't want me to say anything publicly at all. They were insistent that it wasn't anyone else's business, and since I was trying to make the process as painless as possible, I assumed that this was a good-faith request.
I was wrong.
I was being silent, and they were telling everyone a load of horseshit about me, and bad-mouthing me in public to every single one of our mutual friends. I lost all but one of our mutual friends; my silence was assumed to be an admission of guilt.
I'm so sorry. I strongly suspect this happened to me as well. To this day I've never mentioned the evidence I had of her infidelity to anyone, because I'm a better person that she is. My former friends likely discovered this for themselves in due course.
Homie got way into flat-earth bullshit. We (me and other friends) tried everything from ridicule, indulgence, and finally offering "agree to disagree and stop talking about it". He went no-contact with all of us, sold his house and left town.
do you think he went under ?
After he left town did he go around the earth trying to reach the edge of it?
Brother: Lets just say we had a major disagreement in early November.
One where I was dumb was when I sold my then one of best friends a laptop and took his word for him going to pay a week later even though I knew he was a small time grifter. We were tight so I thought he wouldn't screw me over but alas, believing in people is dumb.
The second was an online friend of many years and good emotional support one way and the other, but then out of the blue the dude starts spewing hate and straight up tells me he's a nazi. Fuck that guy. Well fuck the first guy too, but at least I knew the devil back then.
He had an argument with my then girlfriend, and stopped talking to me for whatever reason. We never had any issues or arguments, but he simply won't reply to me or return my calls. After a while, I gave up. We had been friends for about 7 years at that point.
Mad she didn't get invited to a concert my GF bought tickets to. Welp
Good friend, helped me through my parents long divorce. I moved abroad and got a bit lonely out there. Him and his then longterm gf who I was also good friends with had planned to come out and see me.
They then split shortly before. I wanted to be friends with both of them, but if I'm honest with myself, I thought the gf had feelings for me, as her texts to me were getting very high in emoji content. I encouraged them both to come separately and my friend said that our friendship was over if his ex comes to visit me. I guess he knew me better than I knew myself.
He didn't visit, she did. Nothing happened but there were clearly mixed messages on my side. Lost two good friends in one go.
Have made a few good friends since then, but I do miss him and that social circle a lot. I surprisingly haven't learned to not take liberties in friendship circles, but I'm trying to learn.
I don't think there's a reason, which I think is the saddest reason. Growing up and drifting apart. Tried many times to fire up conversations but don't know where to start.
In 2016, when I voted Bernie Sanders.
I lost two friends that year, because they wanted Clinton.
Welp, we knew who voted for the right person back then.
Friend moved and changed his cell number at same time... I didn't yet have his email so lost contact.
Found him years later at a random shop, got his new contact info and still besties today :)
I came out as bi to her and then she thought me and my girlfriend wanted to sleep with herβ¦
Her and I were close friends and confided in each other about depression, traumatic upbringings, and all sorts of stuff. I tell her in confidence that I think Iβm bi and itβs something I struggled with all my life and only came to realize it then. Sheβs supportive because sheβs pansexual and comes from a religious conservative background.
She asks me how my then girlfriend was taking it and I said she was excited because now she may get to have mmf and mfm threesomes. She says she thinks thatβs really cool and asked if that meant we were open in the relationship so I said ya.
Fast forward a month or so later, she invites us all over to her place to hang out and smoke weed and chill and sleep over so we stay on the couch and she sleeps in her bed after a fun night. The next day she texts me that sheβs not used to people treating her nicely and she thought she picked up vibes from both of us about wanting to sleep with her (???) and that she wasnβt comfortable with that.
Weβre both shocked at this point because both of us had no intention of that and just wanted to chat, have weed, and talk about life and joke around and have fun. I tell her that this wasnβt our intent and that Iβm really sad to hear that she felt that way from our actions and that we just wanted to enjoy her company since (I thought) we all had fun.
She went no contact pretty abruptly afterwards and 4 years later Iβm still salty about the whole thing. I feel like I should not have shared that part about myself :(
My own dumb actions.
I deserved it. We are on speaking terms now years later at least.
I was weak and lonely and easily susceptible to her boyfriend's advances. We were quite young, early teens.
Joke was on all 3 of us... he hadn't figured out yet that he was gay. Neither had she for that matter. They're both infinitely more happy now. And I'm happy for them.
I let my agoraphobia get the better of me.
I was working for my best friend of 30 years and his business partner. Over the years I begin a relationship with the ex of said business partner. It's all very new and we don't know what it will do but we want to find out
Her ex, the other business partner is a borderline narcissist with psychopathic tendencies so we want to be careful with him.. For one, I'm assuming fairly this will cost me my job if it comes out, worth it.
Either way, I want my best friend to hear it from me, not from the psycho, and in that week I also receive info that my best friend will be dumped and replaced with, well, me.
I have no interest in the position, I also don't want to see my best friend for 30 years ruined, so I so the right thing.
Be a good boy, but not too good.
I tell him that we're starting something and that his job and income are about to go south, so that he can prepare maybe save his job.
He takes exactly 3 minutes to tell my relationship to his business partner which immediately starts a shit storm with more murder threats than I care to remember. He still has his cosy position.
Took the guy a good 3 minutes to dump 30 years of friendship with the garbage. He immediately blocked me everywhere, never said a word on why.
Be a good boy, but not too good. If your best friend is about to drown, I guess let him.
No good deed goes unpunished. Also, never provide any info that can be weaponized, like starting up with that guy's ex.
Best friend of 6-8 years, I went back to work (I had been receiving VA disability) to get my money right to buy a house. He cut me out and everyone followed his will and did the same, because I couldn't hang out EVERY day. Never mind I was trying to buy a house so wed have somewhere to hang out and party that wasnt checks notes his in-laws house.
I forgor π
Back in primary school (end of 1997), my best friend went to a different high school the next year and we never spoke again.
I relfected my own insecurities about my sexuality onto my partner, sadly i didnt realised that they where nonbinary :(
It certainly wasnt the final nail in the coffin but something i still feel guilty about.