Reddit certainly did have it's moments, didn't it?
this post was submitted on 16 Oct 2024
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I'll always remember the kid who broke both his arms and his helpful mom.
Was that because of the same reminders over and over, every other thread?
That's something I certainly don't miss.
Impressive that he still managed to break his mom with two broken arms.
Between that and Colby, you have the full spectrum of Reddit sexual encounters.
The Kevin history was wild
Yeah Kevin is still one of the all time best to beat.
Also the lazy boat captain.
I was going to mention that one. I don't think they were the captain though.
I never heard about that captain
This lady claims to be an expert but doesn’t even mention the poop knife?!
The poop knife is irrelevant until and unless one plans to flush, which this question did not ask.
Also, why do you assume the nurse is a lady?
"gaping rectum" is distinctly ladylike, no?
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(18 replies)
I don’t know about anyone else, but I’ve had moments of pure despair as I feel like one’s gonna tear me in half.
A real porcelain shatterer.
I ended up occasionally chugging about half a liter of water before going, because this started happening.
That seems to actually do something very useful when I think I've not had enough water prior, but I don't actually know the details of how the body moves and uses that water. It intuitively feels like 2-3 minutes should be too short of a time-span to start doing useful work, but it still seems to work.
In general not using piddly little 0.2l glasses and instead keeping a large glass or bottle with me isn't just helpful, it's vitally important. I simply can't get by occasionally drinking small glasses of water. Other than the first day I'd resolve to start drinking more water again, I never went to fill them up enough times to actually get sufficient hydration for my size.
Additionally, I've learnt to feel my hydration on my lips, if they're dry I need a drink. But I am an unreliable, irrational actor. I don't always pay enough attention, or stay on top of things even if I notice, so I'm likely to resort to desperately chugging water again.
Chiming behind the lemming who said the water a few minutes prior going won't do anything. It certainly won't do absolutely anything no matter how much you drink. Once the bowel absorbs the water, adding more water to your body won't restore moisture to the stool.
What probably happened in your case is simply peristaltic movement, some people are more sensitive to it. So chugging a generous amount of water stimulates your gut tissues and encourages things to get moving along.
Going back to the water - of course if you stay hydrated and keep things hydrated it will help. But you cannot rehydrate a stool just by drinking.
A sound like from a gun, followed by the shattering of porcelain.
the bowel is wider than your asshole
imagining a nurse using the word “asshole” to explain it to a regular person is just hilarious to me.
My mom had to get a colostomy last year after her bowel ruptured, and she spent a month in ICU recovering from sepsis. The nurse there, when she was finally awake, tried explaining everything to her, but she had some pretty severe ICU delirium, and just couldn't comprehend everything she was saying, especially when she was using medical terms.
Eventually, the nurse said, "girl, basically, you don't need your bootyhole no more. That's now just for your husband and lonely weekends"
At which point she fully understood, and I died inside.
TIL my butthole is a PlayDo’h Fun Factory…
We have finally found The Forbidden Knowledge
I never realized that this process is basically a biological cold extrusion.
That's because it isn't. As was just explained, the shape is pretty much set before the "extrusion die" sphincter comes into play.
What are you talking about? The asshole works as a die. Extrusion is about deforming the object, it doesn't have to change its general "shape". If there is plastic deformation, which there is as stated(unless you hold it in unhealthily long), then it counts. You extrude a cylinder with a big cross section to one with a smaller cross section.
Putting the Shit in ShittyLifeProTips.
There's nothing about that paragraph I didn't like!
Now that's one shit experiment to figure something specific out.
That's nice, dear.
I just finished my surgery rotation for medical school and I saw so many colonoscopies. I have seen the inside of dozens of people's colons and this is a pretty good explanation for what's going on. I could also tell which patients ate a lot of fruit or seeds because there would still be some residual seeds in there after the clean-out prep.
Pro tip: if you are going in for a colonoscopy, ask for the pill form of the prep. Most insurances cover it, it works better, and you don't have to drink the gallon of disgusting fluid.
Also! Colonoscopies are very important! They are the single best tool for detecting and preventing colon cancer. During the scope, if they find any polyps, they get removed and sent for evaluation to see if they are cancerous, pre-cancerous, or benign, and the polyps are basically the seeds of colon cancer. It is recommended to get your first colonoscopy at age 45, unless you have a family history of colon cancer, in which case you would get your first one 10 years younger than the age the family member was diagnosed, or age 45, whichever is younger.
There are the home tests like the cologuard, but that has a 45% false positive rate, and they're only good for 3 years while a colonoscopy is good for 10 years(*) if it comes back normal, so the cologuard ends up being more expensive in the long run. It also only detects the later, more advanced polyps that are more likely to be closer to being cancer, and if it comes back positive, you have to get a colonoscopy anyways. A lot of the false positives come from the fact that it tests for DNA associated with cancer mutations and for microscopic blood in the stool, and they don't tell you if it's positive because of the DNA or the blood, and you can have microscopic amounts of blood in your stool for tons of reasons.
TL;DR: Colonoscopies are very important, and MUCH better than the home test. Talk to your primary care provider about when you should start screening, and if you're over 45, go get scheduled for one now. Colon cancer is a horrible disease, and it's actually quite preventable and easy to catch in the early stages, if you get your colonoscopies on the recommended schedule.
*Addendum: If your colonoscopy detects certain kinds of polyps, or more than a certain number of polyps, you might be on a shorter interval for surveillance scopes to make sure they catch anything before it becomes cancer, and that interval can be anywhere from 3 to 7 years depending on what they found. Also, if you have a family history of colon or rectal cancer, you'll be on a 5 year schedule because you're higher risk.
God bless nurses explaining things in simple term a child can understand.
This was very informative
Excuse me. I have to go take care of something.