Home Alone.
"Hey, sorry Kevin. Come on, hop in the car."
this post was submitted on 23 Sep 2024
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Oh this is a great one.
Air bud. "You guys are insane. Listen. Your team will forfeit every game that dog takes the court."
It's crazy how this became a movie trope. It doesn't say in the rules that a giraffe can't be in the swim team.
Every dragged out rom-com.
"We have a bad misunderstanding about why our relationship sucks!"
"Well, let's sit down and talk it over, okay?"
"Okay"
End.
Normal people talk things over? I would seriously believe that to be the farfetched scenario.
I would watch this movie with so much popcorn.
So you would have a handful of popcorn and the movie would be over.
As a bonus, I remember watching Walker Texas Ranger with my father in law, amd the amount of times people had their sights on him and didn't shoot him was ridiculous. He'd have died so fast.
He would have reflected the bullets with his abs
Same with James Bond
The Host
βDump all the formaldehyde down the drain.β
βNo that would pollute the water!β
βOh ok letβs not do that.β
The End.
Alien.
"Waow what the f-!"
"- DON'T KILL IT!"
*kills it* "- Sorry, you were saying?"
Still can't figure why they didn't kill it when they had opportunity. π¬
I was thinking more along the lines of:
We were woken up to check out this signal.
Shine that, let's go home and get paid.
But you know, we're required by law to do so or we forfeit our payment.
OK, so what's the story we all say?
Yeah, nothing there. Must have been a glitch.
OK, let's go home.
Lord of the rings
βYou know, I have these amazing birds, and we could use them to fly straight to the end of this trilogy.β
In addition to the flying NazgΓ»l and what not, the ring could corrupt the proud eagle. They'd just fly off with it and then you have another problem.
Like somehow picking the new ruler of Numenor. Such a weird thing.
Fight Club and the countless movies like it, which are character-driven and the character is driven by extremely maladjusted desires and behaviors.
"Alright, but isn't that being ableist in Fight Club's case?"
No, if both of the alters acted like normal people, you'd just have an especially weird buddy comedy with none of the conflict of the original movie.
Back to the Future.
A normal Doc Brown wouldn't have invented a time machine.
Donnie Darko
oh the weird bunny man who is the dead boyfriend of your sister told you to come out of bed and onto the street?
Nah, bad dream, just stay in bed. Jet engine goes boom, Donnie's buried under, only one other family in another timeline loses a jet engine, story over in 5 minutes...
...unless the story then fixates on the other timeline where a jet engine just vanished off a plane and no one knows where, ah goddamit
Shark pool