Sent this to my friend at AWS and he said it was already all-over their internal Memes Slack channel. At least their engineers and project managers are in on the joke. π
this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2024
595 points (100.0% liked)
Memes
1354 readers
15 users here now
Rules:
- Be civil and nice.
- Try not to excessively repost, as a rule of thumb, wait at least 2 months to do it if you have to.
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
Ever heard of this game called "Star Citizen"?
from 714 millions to 814 millions in one day. nice :D
I'd spend 100M in a month easily. Especially after I've bankrolled GrapheneOS, Ladybird and all my favourite FOSS projects. They also didn't say anything about charity which IMO isn't gifting. Once I feel like I've sufficiently contributed to society I'd buy a 50ft sailboat, pimp the shit out of it with solar and fuck off forever.
With the billion I'd establish a fund that pays out monthly to any projects I deem worthy and funds all food banks in my local area indefinitely.
Then maybe graphene OS would be able to get enough people to maintain non-pixel builds.
Especially after I've bankrolled GrapheneOS, Ladybird and all my favourite FOSS projects.
According to the book The Starfish and the Spider, which is about decentralized organization versus centralized organization, the Spanish Empire was able to defeat the previously-undefeatable Apache resistance by giving gifts of horses to some of the Apache leaders. It provided them status, creating a hierarchy, turning the Apache society into the sort of thing that could be destroyed in conventional battle.
Not saying itβs a very tight analogy, but I would be wary of changes in team culture resulting from a project going from volunteer based to well-funded.
Obviously open source projects need resources, such as servers and github accounts and all that, but spirits change when resource flows change, and projects excel or flub on spirit.
Treasury bonds here I come
Investments are probably covered under "gambling".
Surely the answer to this is to buy really short term options. Bad case is you lose all the money and get a billion. Good case is that you make even more money.
Easy. Buy 100 homes in my city. Become a landlord. Barely ask rent so it's technically not gifting. Use my infinite money to maintain the homes so people have affordable decent housing. Profit for all!
Would donations count as gifting? There are so many FOSS projects that could use the cash inflow.
If it doesn't count, well, prepare for a deluge of hentai to show up in a month.
Yes. You can buy their support though.
I was thinking about not donating to charity but buying stuff directly and asking them for support to ship it. Basically that makes you buy and not gift. If you buy 1 gigaton of rice for Ethiopia (I have no clue how many people a gigaton of rice would feed and I also have no clue whether Ethiopians need any rice) from Costco, well, then you have spent the money on it. Fuck it, maybe buy a boat. A ferry to ship it all directly. Buy land and don't gift but let workers work there. For free. For eternity. Oh you happen to pay them 50 times the average salary of their country? Well you're probably a bad businessman but you're not gifting. Pay the lawyers to make a bulletproof testament where you explicitly state that these poor fellas will never own the land but will for eternity be able to use it for free until the sun explodes.
And then bribe. Bribe away the heartache, bribe away the pain. Bribe the SCOTUS to retire. Bribe Putin to stop the war and fuck off. Bribe Trump to fuck off. Bribe Musk to get a vasectomy and fuck off. I mean you're basically just lobbying at that point but we all know that that's bribing and not gifting.
I also have no clue whether Ethiopians need any rice
The Ethiopian famine was 30 years ago. Not that they haven't had troubles off-and-on since then.
The problem is that it's so much money that you can clear out the inventory of almost anything you would buy while only chewing a few percent off the bankroll. Provided you can close on them in time, buying up some high end houses, or just a whole lot of land, is probably your best bet. Being a cash deal on your end helps move the paperwork faster. They're also durable goods that don't need a warehouse to be stored, and don't need any maintenance for a while.
load more comments
(3 replies)
The Brewster's Millions genie
Great movie. In this case, at end of this one you can have assets and apparently also tell your friends what you're up to.
I'll just pay someone 100 million to punch the genie
Crash the dollar by entering the whole amount in the stock market? Or are stocks also considered gambling?
Buy a supreme Court justice with the first 100M, then the rest of the court with the other Billion.
You're overpaying, justices aren't that pricey
Just buy all the Star Citizen goodies
I would buy so many windmill permits with that money.
Give it all away anyway. Screw that genie, wealth hoarding jerk. At worst he kills you and you leave a saintly legacy.
seems better to just spend the 100M like he wants and then just give the remaining 900M away.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Can I just keep the 100 million? I don't think I need a billion.
I'll take your billion.
This is the kinda selfless attitude the world needs.
Unfortunately you're not spending my 100 million so you can get 1 billion.
load more comments
(1 replies)
how to spend 100+ Million in less than a month. Buy a jet.
Just buy like every house lol. Actually just put in an offer for any house for a 100 mil.
I'll pay for college for a large number of people and pay a lawyer to defend my action as not "giving it away."
Warhammer!!
Genie: There are 5 rules...
I mean c'mon genie, that barely covers my Kharadron, Drukhari, and Votan dream collections.
Can I use Adobe?
There are 5 rules
Since buying and giving in permament use is not gifting, I can go with that option.
Just buy one ticket to a Taylor Swift concert and you're already a billion dollar richer
I'll buy 3 yachts. Pre-paid.
Sleep with pornstar. Excessive hush money. Boom!
Overpay for Monero.
The purchase would be the inflation skyrocket making those in...business...with Monero experience short buff on their previous conduct and product supply quality.
This incentivizes them into produce more products no one else can afford. It'll buff their stock and increase their desperation to sell.
I'll be stacked with cash to buy it all with gorram near zero oppositional bids.
If the market is short on Monero for that rate, I can buff the crypto with BTC and Bisq it to what actually fucking matters.
load more comments
(4 replies)
Using AWS already fits into rule #3.
No knowledge of the financial stuff, but maybe: put most of it in a variety of ETFs, hire a financial advisor and an accountant to help you navigate the system and the taxes, then cash out and donate it.
You spend it without giving it away. Then you give it away. Some countries give you a lot of it back at tax time if you donate to registered charities so you'll even get something for it. I dunno, I'm a poor so maybe it wouldn't work out, but it would be cool.
Just buy like 10 apartments in New York.
YOU DIDN'T SAY AZURE, RACKSPACE, OR OVH!
Build and fund a Marxist think tank, think tank of the Proletariat
view more: next βΊ