Asklemmy

No. No

I dislike touching people or being touched. Not that I have a phobia is suffer from, I just don't like it and try to avoid it when possible. So no, I am not physically affectionate with other friends (male or female alike).

Before there was a pandemic, touching people for welcome or goodbye was common (i.e "shaking hands"). But fortunately this is no longer the case. There are still some disrespectful and non-considerate persons around who want to touch you just to say hello, but they're in the minority.

I am bisexual and somewhat poly. With some of my friends I have a more publicly physical/intimate relationship. We may hold hands, hug, or kiss. In private, we cuddle and... do other things as well. I imagine the straights of Lemmy will largely tell you they don't cuddle their male friends while the queer folk will give a different answer.

Hug long term friends if not seen for a while or if any of us need a hug.

Wrestling and snuggling, erm nope.

Me and my homies always put kisses on texts and have for a decade at least. We will tell each other we love each other too.

No.

Yes, I wish it was more socially acceptable, but I still wouldn't be physically affectionate. Because autism.

When I was in highschool, it was normal for everyone in my mostly male friend group to greet each other with hugs. I remember my dad saying he found it weird. Didn't change anything.

Nope. Nope.

I don't mind a hug, but I have zero desire to snuggle or wrestle with my friends, male or female.

No & no.

Hugging, definitely. No playful wrestling since high school, and what there was there was definitely more motivated by competition and testosterone than affection.

As for snuggling, I wouldn't want to snuggle with anyone that I didn't have at least some sexual attraction to, unless I was in serious emotional distress and just needed it for the reversion to childhood. So I don't snuggle with guys. I don't know of many straight women who snuggle with their platonic friends either, beyond like sharing a blanket for a movie.

I have friends I will happily hug if we've been apart for a while.

Snuggling definitely sets off some kind of panic reaction in me however. Also, when unknown guys get too close, fight or flight immediately kicks in.

I'm sure there is nothing to unpack there.. nothing at all

I'm not physically affectionate with anyone. I hate to be touched, especially by men.

Is the implication here that adult women snuggle/wrestle with their friends? Outside of porn videos?

In my culture, it is almost weird for men to have feelings. Everybody knows that men aren't emotionless machines, but they sometimes forget that. So you can guess that hugging a man as a man is somewhat weird. Before COVID, it was common to give handshakes; after that, pretty much every interaction stopped. Yes, I would really wish that it became more socially accepted. Because I think, When everybody interacts on a physical level, people will be less tense and more relaxed.

Edit: Well I need to correct myself, I think it is not really a social problem, but it rather is a me problem. I'm not very comfortable with touching somebody so it could be that I've been ignoring those interactions for years.

Eons ago, in my twenties, some friends and I had a party. There were a lot of people there, so it was pretty crowded in the couch.

A friend of mine arrived, and he was having trouble finding a place to sit, so I sat back and told him half as a joke "You always have a seat in my lap". He took me up on the offer.

After a while of him sitting there, both of us enjoying the spectacle around the table, one of us (I don't remember who) said:

"This was surprisingly pleasant"
We're both straight dudes.

Yep, a greeting hug when you meet a friend is very common here. Sometimes it is a handshake with pat on the shoulder, or just a handshake.

Don't really think about it much

I have hooked up with several of my friends, we cuddle often, and are not afraid so show affection, but we're all homos so I guess that's less odd. But I have met straight guys who are very confortable being platonically affectionate with us. I feel like society prevents me from being touchy out of fear of being called gay. It's not gay to lay your head on your bro's lap. Those thick tights are comfy af.

I’m not very physically affectionate with anyone anymore and I don’t know why, but I used to be very affectionate. Now, like, when I want to hug someone, throw my arm around them, or… anything, I freeze up and internally panic unless I know the person pretty well and they invite the contact first.

With that said, meh. I don’t care if it’s a man. I don’t enjoy wrestling, but other forms of affection or physical contact are fine. I have no sexual interest in men, so I guess I don’t even think about it that way.

I started going to raves shortly after high school in the late 90s. The culture is all about love. I hug all of my friends (male or female) when I see them. I tell them as often as possible that I love them too.

Somewhat. Hugging yes, snuggling no, playful wrestling when certain friends are particularly drunk.

Yes, I do wish it was more socially acceptable

Frodo and Sam should be fucking role models, especially the book versions who were even more deeply close than the films.

I mean, honestly, for fantasy, the entire Lord of the Rings series is replete with strong men expressing emotion in healthy ways to deal with the horrors of what they were facing. They sing deeply loving songs for fallen comrades, notably Boromir even after he makes a grave mistake, already forgiven, while giving him the best of funerals they can (In their song for Boromir, Aragorn even calls Boromir beautiful[^1]). They cry for one another and feel great distress at the suffering of those in their fellowship. They carry each others' burdens up to Sam literally carrying Frodo up Mount Doom. Anyway, they weren't unwilling to show physical affection or speak highly of another's beauty.

[^1]: "His head so proud, his face so fair, his limbs they laid to rest," In every context of Toklein using the word "fair" in LOTR, it has been taken to mean "beautiful."

No, I don't have close friends. I prefer not to touch or be touched anyway, particularly by other men.

I don't mind if it became more socially acceptable, probably would be healthier overall. As long as it's also acceptable to be able to request no touching.

I'm not no. I'd give my buddies a hug if I haven't seen them in a while, but that's really it. I think it should be more socially acceptable but I don't personally feel like anything is missing from my own relationship with them. It's fine for me how it is.

I don't do that with anybody, normally. People of all genders will sometimes give you a hug here if it's been a while or if they're happy to see you. Cheek kissing is mostly a women thing, though.

You guys have friends?

No and no,

Sure, if we're close.

Im one of those bookish introvert types and im old so I have learned to handle more interaction but no I don't want more being socially acceptable. Im still ackward when my sisters hug me. Heck even a bit with my wife but its a good ackward.

buddy I'm a furry I'll hug strangers

I hug my guy friends when I haven't seen them in a while (e.g. my friends who live far away). Snuggling is super weird, and I don't know of any guys who have done that. Feels like if I did, my wife would not be very happy. Affectionate fighting seems just over the top. Seems like something limited to children and movies.

I think the amount of physical affection I get from other men is fine. Don't really need more

“I’m not, and also I don’t want it to be socially acceptable” gives massive “it’s okay to be gay as long as you don’t do it in public” energy.

I like hugs... I am ok and like a good hug from anyone. I am just scared to initiate. Hate snuggling or wrestling. Feels weird.

With some, yea. Most are uncomfortable but I have a handful of dear friends who are okay with it, even find safety in it I believe. That's certainly my takeaway

I'm becoming more comfortable with shoulder pats n shit, hugs too. Wrestling isn't my jam anymore. Gimme a dagorhir sword, or some other foam sword and let's have a no-holds-barred swashbuckle.

No, I don't usually go physically affectionate with them, male, female, or whatever. I reserve that to close family; unless there is some special situation of course, like loss, or celebration, or something.

And honestly, I don't miss it at all. I get enough affection at home.

A little bit more than I was before. These days I will put an arm around or touch a friend on the shoulder or back to show support. I do this with my father too.

My men’s group helped me learn to do this. It’s really nice.

There are men who haven’t touched another human being in years.

Hugging as a hi and bye, yes. It is okay in my country.

Yes. Absolutely. I'm the relatively rare hyper-social under-stimulated autistic type, in a friend group of people that aren't into close contact and frequent interaction. It's incredibly frustrating, but I'm distrusting of new people, and, ultimately, they've always been there for me. Despite my :3ness.

I had a smaller group that was into it for a little while, but that time has passed. Very, very passed. We don't talk about that.

Sounds a bit gay

Hugging is cool. I'm not wanting beyond that from my male friends.

I am a boomer.

Yes. And yes.

An occasional hug if we are drunk enough, and I don't want anything more than that.

Bloody oath! My brothers and my closest mates all get hugs, and my near 18yo stepson and I still hug goodbye or goodnight too.

No. The hug men do is not affectionate but a greeting after a long time, comfort for bad times, or a congrats