Trans

I am 5.5 weeks on HRT now and recently noticed some different feeling tissue underneath my nipples that are definitely the beginning of my breast buds. So I'm beyond happy currently 😊

At the same time I remembered how worried I was prior to starting HRT (though I never hesitated to get closer to HRT and eventually start it) because I always thought about what if I don't like any of the changes of HRT especially the permanent ones but now I can only laugh about that because I definitely like those changes very much 😂

I said frack it I am going into that store now and getting a summer dress -NOW-. I can't possibly stand another summer in winter clothing.

Someone stole my progress flag :) So that's nice.

I'm trying out a different route of hrt, sublingual rather than gel. It's way more precise, but I'm having issues suppressing my T. So just trying stuff out until it works i guess.

Rar? Eugh, feels today. Also head kinda still messed from yesterday (see thing). Hmmmm lessee.

So, feels. Emotional 🧠y strugglifications are happening in various ways. Not sure I'm capable of really bonding or feeling belongy or anysuch :-\ Having weird feels about where I'm at in life (also see thing <.<;) aaand Idunno even what else. Had a lil sad about the kitty we were kittysitting for like a day having to go back with his "owner" :| Clearly the lil grey fluff belongs here on my bed :3 ... Where he did actually stay pretty much the whole time he wasn't either chewing up my electronics cablestuffs or fighting/playing with the other lil ones. What a sweet lil fuff :3

thing

So it turns out it's possible to trip on weed if you manage to use too much and also apparently I became a lightweight (regarding everything??) overnight before yesterday. Ask me how I kno- just kidding I know because I got knocked into a trip from one lil gummy and maybe a couple lil dabs <.< :| This was a very weird experience (my first trip! Woooo I guess 😅 ) that's kinda been on my mind 😅 Anyway one thing it did was put me through a bunch of different perspectives and I saw myself as a previous self and was... disgusted, afraid, alone, felt like I was lost far from home 😅 Rough, weird, unpleasant... so that BS is clattering around mucking up 🧠 as if the poor thing weren't already kindof a mouldy puddle of sludge or something.

^ So that experience was a whole bundle of strange and I wanna talk about it but I don't even know what to say 😅

Also cops stopped somecritter right out front of this place, just now :| Bleeeh!

Edit: Oh, and I'm starting to not want to be referred to as fem. Like sometimes it's actually irritating to be called a good girl, I kinda just "But am not girl <.<; :-" So this is awkward. fidgetywobble I'd blame 🧠 flaking out (especially after thing 😅 ) but it's kinda been getting worse for a while. I may be... gasp sniffle et cetera, shock and surprise and darkest genderhorror...!!! ...... !!!!! A full enby?!? ... That or my brain's just fuckin' melted. I dunno.

[Weird rambling or something?] Anway don't tell Josh, maybe he'll feel awkward or something. Also hi Josh ö/ 😅 😹 So yeah. Development of my me maybe? wiggles confusily Ooooh, there's a cute fluffy kitty! Not Soot, though, the supercuddles were taken away. I will never forgive that person for taking their cat back 😅 MJ's being sweet, though, so that's nice ^.^ petpets fluffbucket 🫳🐈

Finally getting over a nasty sinus infection. That screwed over my whole last week. Thrilled to be standing/moving around and have enough energy to do more than sit and stare at a screen.

Making bread to make sandwiches (a couple loaves of honey oatmeal and a loaf of rye)

Going back to work tomorrow but at least pretty well rested. Was getting sick and tired of being... sick and tired.

A random person walked up to me, made a Transphobic "joke", and then got pissed when I didn't find it funny.