Asklemmy

Consider a sleep study. I found out I have sleep apnea this way, and did a follow up study with a CPAP machine where I just felt 100x better rested than usual. Ask your doctor for a referral.

I am bi-polar. After positive changes in my life, I was living medication-free. During 2020, I resisted admitting to myself that I was horribly depressed because I didn't want it to be real. When I finally got back on an anti-depressant, I could have kicked my own ass for waiting so long. See a doctor now. Depression can be treated and you might not need the meds forever. Get help.

My bi-polar also causes sleep issues. I take a medication for that, too. You might need the same. But lest you think I think pills are the answer to all problems, first stop taking naps and try to get more exercise to help with sleep.

But see someone about your depression. There're solutions. Depression is the worst hell and it isn't required.

If you're struggling heavily with depression, you should definitely speak to your doctor. Antidepressants are a great measure to make things a bit more manageable while you get things back on track, get therapy, etc.

The napping during the day is almost certainly feeding back into worse night time sleep, which makes you need daytime naps, etc. I would do everything in your power to not only stop taking daytime naps, but also to establish a consistent sleep routine and bedtime ritual. You can essentially train your body to know it is bedtime, and a bedtime routine goes a long way with that. Pick a time you're going to go to sleep every day (including weekends) and a time you're going to wake up (and be awake) every day, including weekends. Treat them as law (within reason) and you should find it easier and easier to feel sleepy and get to sleep.

Consider using a sleep app (like sleep for android). It tracks your motion while you sleep, and can detect (roughly) your sleep cycles, as well as when you're awake. If you set an alarm with a "smart period"(which you decide upon, mine is half an hour) for the time you have decided to wake you up, it will track your position in your sleep cycle and try to wake you up when you're at your lightest sleep, which improves how easy it is to wake up and feel rested.

I know everyone always says "no screens before bed" but like yeah, actually try to get away from screens before bed. Most things we do on screens are very stimulating, which keeps your brain in a more awake, alert state. If you "switch off" an hour before your decided upon bedtime, and go about your bedtime routine, you may find sleep comes a lot easier.

Something that helps me a lot as well with sleep is something I learned from an ex-army chap. While you're lying down to sleep, find your comfortable position, and then, starting with your tongue (which is actually the most important to focus on in my experience) relax each muscle one by one. I find if I don't think about it, my tongue will be basically glued to the roof of my mouth and under pressure. Relax your tongue, then your eyes, your brow, cheeks, face, mouth/lips, neck, shoulders, upper arms, lower arms, hands and fingers, your chest and back, then your lower back, unclench your butt (crass but necessary), your upper legs, lower legs, and feet. As you relax each one, just take inventory and make sure the ones you already relaxed are still relaxed, especially your tongue. If you're finding it hard to "manually" relax a muscle, tense it really hard for 5-10 seconds and then release, it should be easier to just let it relax. This technique is fucking magic I swear to you.

Best of luck to you, internet stranger, and good luck with your mental health journey.

may be worth talking to your doctor about testing for sleep apnea or other sleep disorders

i've had bad sleep all my life and recently got tested. turns out i have nothing diagnosable but at least now i know it's a skill issue i guess lol

raising the head of my bed helped somewhat as i have mild acid reflux. it's as simple as shoving some pillows and/or old clothes under the top third of your mattress so worth a try, nothing to lose.

best of luck fellow sleepyhead

I was in similar situation, where I would sleep off daytime, then it messed up my sleep schedule for years. I got better once I realized that I am a zombie in that state. I advise going for a walk. Try to go a bit further every day. Just stop outside, it's funny to go home instantly, so have to walk for a minute. The this has two benefits - cardio on fresh air is good for physical health and makes you tired for the night, and for me it brought relief from mental pressure and gave space that I am safe to think about difficult stuff. There is something in act of moving that help with the head. It's also nice anchor - you are in control of his much you walk, where you walk, just do it, like guy from memes.

Be kind to yourself <3

Usually the recommendation is to take short, no longer than 30 minutes naps. Supposedly, after 30 minutes you go into deep sleep and waking up will make you feel tired. I haven't reviewed the scientific validity of the claims, but it has always worked for me.

Regarding antidepressants: I was on them for a number of years and I'd say they're a stopgap to keep you surviving until you can finally tackle the problem once and for all with something therapy. They make you feel very grey, assuming there's no side-effects, which can be anywhere between mildly amusing to headwrecking. But of course, grey is lighter than black, and on the other hand, I've known people who've been taking antidepressants for decades. I'm ridiculously self-disciplined so I often find it relatively easy to rationalise ruminations away but some aren't so lucky. So I agree with the others saying you should ask a doctor about it. I spoke to my GP about it to begin with.

If you are looking for a scientific approach try listening to Andrew Huberman's 6-part series all about sleep with Dr Matt Walker.

Link to episode 1 on youtube, its also on Spotify: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OBCwiPPfEU

Huberman's Sleep Toolkit: https://www.hubermanlab.com/newsletter/toolkit-for-sleep

I learned this one from CGP Grey: Caffeine Naps. Drink a cup of coffee right before you nap. When you wake up, you dont feel groggy because of the caffeine

Become an uber driver. I get to make my own schedule, and I don’t use alarm clocks any more. If I need to sleep, I just set the car on autopilot and the uber app to auto-accept rides, and when I wake up I’ve got money.

Have you tried any sleeping meds? Or at least sleeping tea?

Are you familiar with the sleeping cycles? If you wake up during the wrong part you'll feel like trash. You can set an alarm to avoid that. There's also devices that can detect when you fall asleep and then take care of that for you.

Further, how's your sleep hygiene? Ear plugs? Good curtains? Blue light filter on your phone?

It can also help to do a lot of sport. And I mean 2 or 3 times a day. And if your rythm is screwed just skip a night.

Further you'll want focus on reducing anxiety and working on mental health. I can recommend mindfulness.

When I started having trouble sleeping because of work/stress I was able to commute to work by bicycle, which ended up being a 1h 25m ish ride most days. Cured my stress, got me ready for the day and as soon as i shut my eyes i was fast asleep.

I aso cut way down on alcohol to the weekends or 1 night a week.

Now im living a wayyyyyyy less stressful lifestyle & so my exercise routine is nothing, so sometimes I have an edible and doze right off.

Most days though, we sleep 6.5hrs, wake up, morning routine, a couple hours of work, then lunch/siesta (1.5, 2hrs), evening work & then home for bed.

Also have battled depression so there is a myriad of choices you can make, but routines definitely help.