They should recruit and assemble a flame thrower unit to fight the fire with fire.
The Onion
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
The headline about the mayor of New York ordering the NYPD to shoot floodwater if it doesn’t disperse was funnier.
What if they got cops to point their guns at it and scream, "GET ON THE GROUND!"? I bet that'd work better.
Choke it!
“We don’t need guns we need fire extinguishers.”
A quote that will live on longer than most Palestinians.
I'm from Texas and this one nearly got me...
They should ask the trees what they were wearing and then tell them that a spark is a beautiful living thing. If they're not willing to let an innocent little spark become a beautiful little flame, then the trees and anyone who helped them are all murderers.
Surround it with barbed wire!!
Have we tried nuking them?
I mean, he does have a grudge against trees
Would be better than what he's using them for now.