Asklemmy

every word i use is right, its the english language that is wrong

I was homeschooled and was basically educated by books, so I have a massively large vocabulary and I mostly use it correctly.

But pronunciation? I'm fucked.

Freedom.

Apparently where I live it means torture people till they off themselves.

Oh in English -- I used to say renumerate (numerate a second time) instead of remunerate (pay someone for a thing).

I thought phallic (fálico) meant flawed (falho) and used it so much. I cringe when I remember this 😭

How about " till " in English vs " 'til " ?

In English, a till is a cash drawer or a plough. The abbreviation for "until" is " 'til ".

I see it in subtitles. I worry for society.

Awkward because encephalitis is caused by HIV.

From the NHS website:

Encephalitis is most often due to a virus, such as:

• herpes simplex viruses, which cause cold sores (this is the most common cause of encephalitis)
• the varicella zoster virus, which causes chickenpox and shingles
• measles, mumps and rubella viruses
• viruses spread by animals, such as tick-borne encephalitis, Japanese encephalitis, rabies (and possibly Zika virus)

Encephalitis caused by a virus is known as "viral encephalitis". In rare cases, encephalitis is caused by bacteria, fungi or parasites.

I happily described a nice coffee shop as "kitschy" to the guy behind the counter and quickly learned from his reaction that it isn't the synonym for "artsy" that I thought it was.

Is encephalitis caused only by HIV, though?

I seem to think it was a thing before HIV.

For decades I pronounced albeit like "al-bayt", instead of "all-be-it". I only ever saw it in writing, and never hears anyone say it. Meaning made also so much more sense when I finally heard it being said out loud. Eye opener.

literally, apparently.

I lived for the better part of a decade in Vietnam thinking "đại lý" was a loan word from English meaning "daily".

It actually indicates an agent (like a reseller) -- e.g. a lottery ticket seller, news stand, and so on. "Daily" just worked in all those contexts by coincidence.

I also mix up "in stock" (in a warehouse) and "available". So an analogy is I often ask people if they have "a clock in their warehouse" instead of if they "have the time".

Also probably two dozen equally weird things I'm not even aware of. People are pretty chill about it, mostly because the number of people without Vietnamese heritage that speak the language in any capacity, rounds down to zero.

I have bad hearing so I mostly just mispronounce words...

I used to say "worth nothing" while, obviously, the correct way is "worth noting".

However, given how many Google results are there about the wrong spelling, I'm clearly not the only one.

Not a word but I thought the idiom toe the line meant basically the same as push the envelope. As in you're testing the boundaries of something by walking right up to the line and nudging it with your toe to move it further.

Turns out it means pretty much the opposite, essentially the same as fall in line.

Inconceivable!

It took me until graduate school to learn that "mortified" is not another word for "scared"/"fearful"

It still looks that way to me what with mort in there!

It also took me a long time to realize that the word "awry", which I read often in books and inferred its meaning, and "ah-rai" were the same thing. I thought awry was pronounced "aw-ree" and it was just a synonym for "ah-rai".

The word "nauseous" is parallel to "noxious" and means "causing nausea". If you're experiencing nausea, you're nauseated -- the thing that made you nauseated is nauseous.

In German we use the English term 'understatement' in some occasions, e.g. 'his dressing style is a clear understatement...'. My brain somehow tied the meaning to something like 'understanding', maybe due to the similarities of both words. For decades it was clear to me that someone dressing like that were dressed to the point and 'making a clear statement'. Now that I've checked the real meaning, I'm completely puzzled when and how to use the term and what I've misinterpreted all the years...

I mean, homonyms exist, confusing them/not knowing a word has one doesn't make it "wrong". Surely you (e: plural, not having a go at you op lol) could tell tories and Tories apart by context (if not capitalisation)?

Redux. I've always just used it as a fancier 're-do'. Still going to keep using it as such. I like the word too much.

Noisome means smelly, not noisy.

enormity means serious or grave, not very large.

terrific isn’t always great or amazing; it can be synonymous with terrifying.

Since OP is in the UK, I can pull out “nonplussed.” Current American usage of the word is a lack of surprise or general acceptance. I am nonplussed when news arrives that another politician was caught in a sex scandal. Non-American usage is complete surprise and an inability to act. The Scot was nonplussed when the drunk American vomited noisily on his shoes.

Edit: I am firmly in the “general acceptance” camp and usually have to process for a second or two when someone uses it in its traditional sense.

"Alternately" when I meant "alternatively".