Asklemmy

Yearning for affirmations via fake internet points is the toxic part, not the format of a website.

Mastodon was very depressing for me, this follower centric self presentation stuff is super not my style, it don't want it to be about me, I most likely suck but I say smart things some times, so I want it to be about the stuff I say.

Plus I don't mind being downvoted into oblivion. I actually think that this can be a good thing. It means that there was something at least controversial about what I posted so I might be wrong or have to argue better.

Lastly, mastodon is too much safe space and filter bubble. I want to read things from people that I disagree with and I want to argue with them in good faith. When I tried this on mastodon, I got misquoted, blocked, harassed... You name it.

For lack of a beter example, on stackoverflow, when someone down votes you, it comes with a comment saying how to improve. ... These platforms are a joy to use

I don't know what part of the internet you are from, but where I am from, Stackoverflow is looked down on as the quintessential example of toxic behaviour.

I've found some of the most dismissive people in tiny stack exchange groups, and experienced similar unexplained downvotes.

What SO, Reddit, and Lemmy maybe all have in common I think, is people tend to agree or disagree based on their convictions, as opposed to agreeing or disagreeing as a means of interaction.

I guess this puts the conflict and disagreement front and center. But at least then I know where people stand.

Perhaps it's important to not take opinions too personally, and remember that incencere agreement has its own problems.

Just post what you want to post and ignore the votes. A few downvotes is to be expected. Try not to read into them so much.

Someone praising Stack Overflow, that's a new one. The most criticized thing about SO is the toxicity and elitism of the users. Downvoting almost always comes with no explanation there.

I don't think the format had anything to do with it, considering it was much more like Lemmy is now when I first joined 11 years ago and I've seen the same decline in other social mediums that didn't share formats as Reddit. It's just what happens when you get enough people together in one place. The abundance of dumb fucks and bad actors simply take over.

I’m not trying to be negative here with you - but anyone complaining about downvoted will often get another downvote from me. Say what you want to say, stand by your convictions, and don’t worry about what the internet thinks about that.

It is a problem of an Eternal September. Reddit was set up where the downvote was supposed to mean more than just disagreeing with people, but the influx of users, especially those only participating with Reddit by upvoting and downvoting, couldn't be taught what you were supposed to do.

Imo, downvotes is just a disagreement. Being offended by it sounds like a "you" problem, we all have to deal with it.

Upvotes normally give me answers I need for at that moment. Downvotes makes me reassess myself.

I dont think you must read to much into the downvotes. Understand the situation why people might have downvoted you, understand why other people get upvoted, assess the situation. And most of all, understand that not everybody will always agree with you

During my time on reddit, I've learnt to appreciate downvotes. Silent feedback is much better than passive-aggressive replies that serve no purpose other than letting the person vent out.

I'm thinking you care too much about the thoughtless reactions of anonymous strangers.
Remember... In this game, the points don't matter.

Downvotes are not a reflection on you, they are a representation of how much everyone else agrees or disagrees.

I don't personally want the downvotes hidden or removed like how it is on Youtube.

People breed toxicity, especially if you disagree with them. The more people a site has, the shittier it is. People suck.

The only place on here that I've noticed downvotes is on comments that have been obviously social media shills (reddit or meta) or right wing type comments that are not the type of thing a community should support in my opinion. I'm not saying you're doing either of those things and if you're being downvoted in another context I don't know why.

That said, downvotes shouldn't really get you down. If you've said something awful then you deserve them and should reassess your outlook if you were unaware that your views or attitude were unpleasant. If you're getting downvoted on a tech related thing then I don't know what that's all about but I would try not to worry about it too much because it doesn't really affect your life, it's just a fake internet down arrow.