this post was submitted on 14 Dec 2023
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36
If the devil appeared to you and offered to answer any 3 questions, what would you ask? (lemm.ee)
submitted 1 year ago by JackGreenEarth@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
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[โ€“] sxan@midwest.social 30 points 1 year ago (2 children)

TIL Satan is a genie.

Also, in these games, the folks going for "more wishes" are shooting low. The only wish you need, which also defeats the monkey's paw, is "grant me omnipotence."

But: this is Satan we're talking about. The Deciever, The Traitor. Not only is this a monkey-paw situation, but a Christian Satan is going to actively try to decieve you.

I don't think I'd even trust his answer about whether there's a cost, so I'd pass on the winning lotto numbers, too.

I'd say, "no thanks" and immediately convert to Catholicism, start going to church, and lead a clean life from here on out. If the orthodox Jews are right, I'm fucked anyway since my mother isn't a Jew, so Christianity is the best bet.

[โ€“] PatheticGroundThing 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Omnipotence without knowing how to control it could very easily instantly annihilate you, whether physically or mentally through complete ego death.

[โ€“] Sombyr@lemmy.one 2 points 1 year ago

Omnipotence means you can do literally anything, and anything includes having perfect control of your powers without knowing how to use them. It also includes the ability to continue to interact and exist as an omnipotent being even if you were completely, utterly, 100% destroyed.

If you were omnipotent, you could just decide that every action you take will benefit you in some way and then, it doesn't matter what you do, you're doing the right thing. You could even just choose not to lose yourself in your newfound power.

You don't have to know how to do something to do it when you're omnipotent. You don't even have to know the option to do it exists to choose that option. Because omnipotence means the ability to do literally anything, even when it makes no logical sense.

Of course, none of this makes logical sense. It doesn't have to, because omnipotence isn't a scientific concept or anything. It's a word we chose to define in a contradictory way. It's like if we made a new word that means "somebody who can do things they're completely incapable of doing." Not even really a paradox so much as a word whose definition makes no sense.

The weirdest part to me is that an omnipotent being must, by necessity, have the ability to create a being with powers exceeding omnipotence. Something more powerful than them. But they must also have the ability to overpower their creation, otherwise there'd be something they can't do, and they would therefore not be omnipotent. That's just a mindboggling thing to think about.

[โ€“] JackGreenEarth@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I thought if Judaism is correct gentiles can avoid Gehennom (purgatory) by following the 7 noahide laws?

[โ€“] sxan@midwest.social 2 points 1 year ago

Dunno. I haven't studied it; all my info comes from informal conversations with a jewish friend of mine, a long time ago. I could also be misremembering what he said.

It's something I would look into, if faced with confirmation of a judao-christian afterlife, especially if I could concurrently cover multiple bases. I'd look at Islam, as well; could be they're not mutually exclusive. I dread to think of how limited my diet would become... but faced with an ensured eternity in hell ยฏ\(ใƒ„)/ยฏ

[โ€“] Blackout@kbin.social 14 points 1 year ago

Will you please fuck off and take the Trump voters with you?

[โ€“] bestusername@aussie.zone 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Why is your father such a childish fuckwit?

Why does he let you act equally/more powerful?

Can I have an Audi RS6 Avant with unlimited fuel and tyres?

[โ€“] MossyFeathers@pawb.social 12 points 1 year ago

I feel like the answer to the third question would be the pendantic, "you sure can!" answer.

[โ€“] Gabu@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Since it's impossible to determine whether any given answer is true or not, the logical course of action is to only ask question with observably objective answers. Examples:

  • What are the next lottery numbers?
  • Will it rain tomorrow?
  • Where was the exact location of Troy during the Greek war?

Things like that.

[โ€“] tetris11@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 year ago
  • 1 67 8 10 5 (doesn't specify where)
  • Yes (doesn't specify where)
  • Gives you exact coordinates to a town called Troy in the US that existed during the Greek civil war of the 1950s
[โ€“] ICastFist@programming.dev 7 points 1 year ago

As is, the post doesn't specify whether the devil will answer truthfully or not. So, I suppose it's safe to say he'll just be a dick

  1. Which place in hell would my soul end up if I died right now?
  2. Can I take your place after I die?
  3. Which religion is your favorite?
[โ€“] Dio9sys@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 year ago
  1. Why are you offering this?
  2. Yo what's the deal with UFOs?
  3. Preferred hot dog recipe
[โ€“] Shambles 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)
  1. What are the winning numbers for the next big lottery?
  2. What companies should I Invest a big portion of winnings into to become the richest person in the world?
  3. What are the names of the specific people I will need to target to either befriend/influence/kill and, which do I need to befriend/influence/kill to take control of the planet?
[โ€“] starlord@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago

What is your name?

What is your quest?

What is your favorite color?

[โ€“] Coskii@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What's the deal with the fiddle?

[โ€“] tetris11@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The devil went down to Georgia and fiddled up a little kid.

Let's just say that theatre renditions willfully misconstrue the concept.

[โ€“] Coskii@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 year ago

By most accounts the devil is a lot of talk and very little (physical) action. If anything he fiddled someone else to diddle a little kiddle.

I grew up partially in the south, and the devil tales from there told a story of people constantly getting over on him in the forms of bets and contests, the devil doing a monkeys paw type wish/curse, and it being turned around by the receiver of the curse/wish to ultimately being a good thing. Like a very awkward super hero whose power is to grant wishes, but has to lose to that person in some way first.

[โ€“] uphillbothways@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How'd you get in my house?
Would you please leave?
Who the fuck was that?

[โ€“] FaceDeer@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"Are you really the devil?" following up with "Really?", and "You?".

[โ€“] LoamImprovement 2 points 1 year ago

"I hope this has been enlightening for you."

"But I must-"

"Thank you, come again."

"But-"

"Thank you, come again."

[โ€“] Extrasvhx9he@lemmy.today 3 points 1 year ago

Noping the hell out of that situation. Hehe get it?

[โ€“] Birdie@thelemmy.club 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I wouldn't have any questions, just immediate concern.

I'd start looking for the nearest mental health facility and check myself in due to having visual and auditory hallucinations.

There is no devil.

[โ€“] Owell1984@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 year ago

Interesting, as an atheist I think the same way too, there is a greater probability that you are insane that there is for a Personal God existing, but I am not sure my attitude is the best, I mean, even if there was a real God and he came before me, I would count myself insane. i.e., Nothing can trump this argument if you believe in this, sounds a bit close minded to me, I don't know what the right way is either.

[โ€“] PowerCrazy@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

How do I know it's the devil OP? Couldn't it be God or some other entity? How would I know?

[โ€“] H2SO4@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago

Just check if he wears Prada!

[โ€“] JackGreenEarth@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago

Well it looks and sounds like the stereotypical devil. But you're right, maybe it's not actually.

[โ€“] trackindakraken@lemmy.whynotdrs.org 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So many people assuming The Devil would answer honestly.

[โ€“] kandoh@reddthat.com 1 points 1 year ago

Why would he lie?

[โ€“] ani@endlesstalk.org 2 points 1 year ago

Why does the universe or anything exist at all?

How will the universe end?

How did anything began existing?

[โ€“] Fizz@lemmy.nz 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Will I win my next roulette spin? When will I die? Is time travel possible?

[โ€“] sukhmel@programming.dev 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

No, in the past, yes.

Next!

[โ€“] Fizz@lemmy.nz 1 points 1 year ago

Ok I'll bet small on my next spin then I'll bet my life savings since I have an increased chance of winning(if you lose your last 50/50 you are more likely to win the next one)

[โ€“] HubertManne@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago

If I can hold off then yeah like some others I would want to wait for a record breaking lottery and then get the numbers for the non record breaking one and then tell me how a technology that would be most beneficial for the planet while supplying mankind with all the energy it wants and I would sit on the last question.

[โ€“] AceFuzzLord@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago

I'd probably squander these questions because if it's the Christian devil, I'm not sure whether or not to trust him or not.

  1. What's my name?

  2. What's your name?

  3. Did you know I'm asking these questions because I don't know whether or not to believe you?

[โ€“] StrawberryPigtails@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

TANSTAFL. What's the price?

[โ€“] JackGreenEarth@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago

What's TAnStafl? And there is no price