this post was submitted on 20 Jul 2023
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Tell your friend to read a history book or legal precedent. Or, hell, any nonfiction book. I’m 38, so none of this is that long ago. When I was growing up, gay sexual contact was illegal in my state. In some states, when I was a kid, men could not legally rape their wives. (As in, if nonconsensual sex took place in a marriage, it was not considered rape). And I don’t remember any states ever taking cis kids away from their parents because they considered seeking appropriate medical care to be abuse. Has that guy ever feared for his life because of who he was attracted to? Friends of mine have, because they were queer. Ask him how many countries his future marriage to a woman would be illegal in? In how many countries could he be killed just because someone found out he loved a woman? The reality is, algorithms on the most profitable social media sites have been driving young, cishet, mostly white men to the alt-right, homophobic/transphobic/misogynist/dickhead rabbit hole. Your “friend” may or may not be savable, but if he is, that’s the opposing army you’re dealing with. A 24-hour bullshit cycle of the sociocultural preconditions for fascism.
Strangest part is that he's a liberitarian and still does this bs. Why am I so bad at finding friemds
There’s a reason they say libertarians are just conservatives who like smoking weed.
Ist strange. He's basically an atheist conservative
Not strange at all. New Atheism (the social movement, not non-belief) seems to have served as a gateway drug to misogyny for many people. Why not homophobia?
That's how it comes off. Although from what I know his beliefs are just equality to teg point of insanity. Like liberitsrian communism with a side of wanting to destroy lgbt pride
By libertarian communism are you meaning anarchocomunist. (Legit question to male sure were on the same page). I mean it would not supruse me as libertarians I have dealt with being a member of that party reach from the extremes of anarco communism to ancaps
No. His ideas are stripping all factors aside from being human. That and libertarian socialism. Not anarcho
Oh OK yeah was not sure how extreme he went yeah not my cup of tea on that side
I would state a minor correction. A lot of people claiming to be libertarians are that. Its unfortunate how many have co opted the viewpoint that the right to an abortion was removed as an official stance of the party. Highly disappointed in that fact.
You’re welcome to share your opinion, but “your statement that is generally true, and reflected in the party platform, doesn’t apply to me personally” is not a correction, as I wasn’t wrong. A counterargument? An addendum, perhaps. But not a correction.
I would disagree thatist is reflected in the party platform given that the platform has beliefs in letting people live their own lives including takinghert and the majority of libertarians are still pro choice. Bout the only thing an actual libertarian has in common with conservatives is pur thoughts on gun rights and view in smaller government getting involved in peoples personal decision such as what they consume or who they love.
“Majority” and “party platform” aren’t the same.
Hey, just saw this response and wanted to reach out to you as a fellow bi guy whose been through the trenches for near half a century. You're not bad at finding friends, and what you're going through is really common for us, especially bi men, who are generally viewed more negatively than bi women in most spaces.
You're not at fault here, and it's possible that you're helping your friend through his bigotry. I've actually seen this happen with some redneck friends from high school when one came out as gay - after 30 years, they all now vote Dem and would literally shoot anyone trying to hurt him. The fact he's still talking to you indicates that he likes and cares about you enough not to shun you.
But I get it, hearing his bigotry hurts you, and you don't want to continue to go through it. And you want to protect yourself from building connections with people who will hurt you in the same way.
The healthiest way I've found to deal with it is to present as a straight ally and not discuss my specific sexuality unless asked, which is kind of like living in the closet with the door open. By presenting as a straight ally, it attracts people into my friend circle with whom I already know are LGBTQ+ leaning, giving me a higher probability of acceptance when and if I do decide to disclose my sexuality. It also allows me to both avoid discrimination while giving me the chance to observe what people are really thinking, because many people only reveal their prejudice when they think the targets of their disgust aren't within earshot.
It's not an ideal solution, but it's a tactically safe one. I hope it helps. Good luck, take care of yourself and don't beat yourself up for other people's bigotry.