this post was submitted on 30 Jun 2023
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Mhmm, I understand what you're saying. One factor that came to my mind just now (sitting in the waiting room for my doctor lol) is that, as a kid, I didn't have that sensory-overload level of games I could be playing. At first, my family had a PS1 with Spyro, Tenchu, Dead or Alive and Tekken on it. I think that was it. Or at least those were the only ones I can remember off the top of my head. For a couple years I only was able to play these four games (it was a modified console, so it could only play burned discs, on top of it). That together with the fact that, as a child, I didn't need to concern myself with anything mentally super taxing while playing, probably resulted in me just devoting enough time into the games to find secrets/routes I would run past now. Maybe it's similar for you?
Yup, thinking back on it I think you nailed it. Especially that part about being more "free to just enjoy things". I mean it usually almost goes without saying but I wish I could at least somehow do it - enjoy things I want to enjoy (not just games) without having any thoughts in the back of the back of my mind which are bogging me down. I am quite sure you are correct on this part. And the first part is quite true as well, I have x amount of games on my two PlayStations, y amount of games on GOG and z amount of games on Steam. Similar to your experience, back when I was playing FF9 I remember I only had 3-4 games in total, too. FF9, Metal Gear Solid, Gran Turismo and Crash 2. So you are also quite right on this point. Right now even when I am playing a game, I am not fully concentrated on it because of that "mental tax of life" + I am always thinking about my catalogue of games I wanna play and even of games I should get and try, etc. So yes, perhaps I need to learn to relax :) Three games are coming this year which I am extra excited about - Baldur's Gate 3, Hollow Knight 2 (hopefully!) and Hades 2. I will do my best to tackle just one at the time without any of these pressures and we'll see how it goes. And even if I cannot really devote as much time to playing as I could back then, I will just take longer. Who says I need to finish a game in any amount of time? Thanks for "tiny therapy", Crotaro! :) Maybe I'll update you here later this year about this. Hopefully, my mind won't be as weak as it was when I played Sekiro and Hollow Knight - after first trouble of getting something, I've tried once or twice to get it and then - immediately ran to internet. I will try to avoid this with these 3 games (and hopefully others).
P.S. I am now replaying FF9 on emulator and I remembered so many things even after 20 years :) so "technically" it's not this "gameplay challenge" it was back then but still having an amazing time with it because now I am picking up things in story and dialogue that went over my 12 year old head.