This is not a comparison between Tildes and Beehaw. The question really is what constitutes a safe space, but looking at them side by side was at made me think about this issue. I’m new in both communities and I’m aware that they are in a state of adaptation with all the newcomers, something to keep in mind. Another detail to be considered is that the space I talk about is the limitations (rules and guidelines) in which the community can exist to create their own culture.
Firstly, Tildes is not a safe space and doesn’t intend to be. It’s far from being a free for all with rampant toxicity either. You go there if you want to have healthy discussions with people that know better than to cross the line when expressing themselves. That line, though, is more defined by practical consequences. You derail the conversation into something that goes in the direction of nasty and it will be cut down.
At Beehaw, I see a desire to avoid unnecessary grief. A user might have a bad day and say something in a way that rubs others the wrong way, but that will not be the norm and I imagine it’s expected that people will take notice when called out.
Both places incentive productive discussions, but Beehaw puts its users well being above all else. I believe there’s a gap between the two that can’t be filled by anything else. I think this gap is what is necessary to create a safe space. No fuzzy line that can easily be crossed, but a ditch.
With all that said, in a somewhat obvious way, I see safe spaces defined by how you make the people inside it feel. Basically, safe to exist and safe to engage. A space in which you don’t have to fear being hurt, even if that’s an impossible guarantee. In a safe space, if things go bad, there will be plenty that have your back.
Hostile spaces, on the other hand, are marked by the lack of care for safety. The world is a dangerous place and you should just deal with it or stay locked at home.
That’s probably enough from me. What are your thoughts? What do you look for in a safe space for discussions? And how do you know if you are in the right place?
My experience on Tildes was more that you risk being cut down based almost entirely on who marks something as malice or whether a thread you create causes too many people to engage in marking each others comments as malice.
There's a specific kind of toxic rationalism (primarily centered through a lens of privilege) which is present on that website, which has been pushing the minority voice off the website for some time. I speak from experience; I joined Tildes back when it started and used to participate a whole lot more. I was told in no uncertain terms by the creator of the website that I was not allowed to start meta-discussions about the community and problematic behavior that I saw that was pushing the minority voice off the website.
I really like this framing, thank you for sharing it. I think it captures a lot of what we were trying to say with our last philosophy post 💜
Mentioning meta discussions about the community reminded me of this leftist video about how facism can infiltrate and convert communities. Amongst other techniques, facists can portray those who call out any negative problems developing within the community as enemies of the community. The whole series is very enlightening and has changed how I choose communities to participate in, and how to run any I'm part of the moderation team of.
https://youtu.be/P55t6eryY3g
Edit: and just to be clear, I'm here on beehaw because I believe in y'all's moderation philosophy, and trust it will continue to be a safe space for everyone
Toxic rationalism is a good take. The term elitism didn't seem correct, but the uncomfortable feeling that I sometimes have is the privilege that permeates that site. I said the world is a dangerous place before, but it's more dangerous for specific segments of the society.