Neurodivergence

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Have any of you "cracked" how to remember names in active conversation? (self.neurodivergence)

submitted 2 years ago by douglasg14b to c/neurodivergence

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I have ADHD diagnosed in my 30's, and can't seem to remember names even seconds after they are said. Sometimes I try so hard that I can't follow the conversation because I'm focusing on repeating their name over and over so I don't forget.

Inevitably I focus back on the conversation and the person's name is lost.

Texting their name to me tends to work, but others tend to find this odd/annoying/off-putting if I halt an organic conversation to text myself their name. And can even find it quite disrespectful.

So, Title: Have any of you "cracked" how to remember names in active conversation?

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[–] storksforlegs 8 points 2 years ago (2 children)

No, but I find its helpful to tell the person honestly that youre bad at remembering, and to say it a few times.

Also i started a note file on my phone where i jot names soon as i can. Just started doing this in my new building.

I write their name and a quick descriptor. It has worked ok so far.

[–] Dandylion 3 points 2 years ago

I do the notes thing and when I'm done talking to them I refer to my notes and think of their face, that solidifies it for me pretty good.

[–] phoenixes 2 points 2 years ago

When I have a paper notebook on me, I love drawing out a map of names of people in the room, with their name in the place I first had a conversation with them (and maybe again if we moved). Helps a lot with being able to check again easily if I forget, so I can remind myself without having to ask.

But I also agree that learning to be OK with asking is the BIGGEST strategy here. Almost everyone I bring this up with says they're also terrible with names (maybe 2% are amazing at names?). It's fine. I say "Can you remind me your name?" so so often and it's actually fine.