Asklemmy

As much as I hate to say it… sleep, exercise, avoiding drugs and alcohol, and sticking to a strict routine.

When I was in my teens and 20s, I thought everyone was full of shit, and that everyone who claimed that any of those worked had just never experienced actual depression before because there was no way something that sounded so simple could actually make an impact.

As it turns out, my brain needs a heavy dose of mood stabilizers every night and 8-9 hours of sleep (but no more than that, sleeping too much is also bad). If I’m checking those two boxes, I’m a pretty functional and happy person.

If I’m not, it snowballs pretty quickly: first, my attitude will shift from things being opportunities to things being obligations. Then I find myself not being able to keep up with my regular tasks. These dishes suck, work sucks, my stupid dog is barking again – she sucks too. Everything feels boring and tiring and meaningless. I resent everybody and argue with people in my head. My internal monologue is brutal. Everything is a stupid piece of shit, myself included. Exercise is stupid. Making food is stupid; it takes forever and just makes more dishes. Now you’re eating stale crackers for dinner? Who does that? (You get the picture.)

I’ve been on medication for eight years and sober for five – all of what I described above is what happens to me just after being sleep deprived for a day or two.

So it’s frustrating because all the stuff that well-meaning, non-depressed people suggest does have a huge impact. But it’s way harder for a depressed brain to accomplish any of it, and hearing “oh, well just do this easy thing that works for me!” can be incredibly discouraging.

Like your mom’s advice: “think happy thoughts”? 10 years ago I would have heard that as “just think about sunshine and rainbows and all your problems will be solved” – and yeah, that’s pretty dumb advice. But if you replace that with “use positive self-talk and be mindful of small things that make you happy,” that can be a powerful tool.

So be patient with your brain and gentle when you talk to yourself – depression is tough, but with the right medication and the proper emotional tools to work through it, it can be managed.

Also: if you’re not already seeing one, I highly recommend therapy if you have the option. The techniques may seem dumb at first, but they really do work.