this post was submitted on 07 Jan 2024
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Asklemmy
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Going into tone-deaf dad mode…
Come to the realization that you have shit to do and it’s time to grow up and get it done.
To be clear, for people with ADHD, this is toxic advice that only causes harm. Can't speak for anyone else.
It really isn't toxic. It's reality. And there is zero evidence of any diagnosed condition from the OP, just the usual Internet conjecture which is what makes a site like Reddit a cesspool. I'd much rather not see that happen in the Lemmy ecosystem, but sadly it seems like it is. OP asked for advice on what to do, and instead people medically diagnose them. That, to me, given that it's very unlikely anyone here is a licensed medical professional, seems much more harmful than simply telling someone it's time to grow up.
Good luck, @Subject6051@lemmy.ml . I wish you success in your endeavors. It might be a good idea to ignore the Internet when it comes to your well-being.
Roughly 13% of the world is diagnosed with ADHD. Yes, there are plenty of people who should not get that diagnosed, and yes, plenty of people fall through the cracks when they get screened. However, I'll assume those 2 groups are roughly equal and cancel out.
It is VERY clear that he has one of the many symptoms of ADHD. Yes, that symptom alone could be caused by several conditions, which is what I mentioned in my post. However, everyone in this thread who suggested it might be ADHD specified to get it checked out. They did NOT say that they definitively have ADHD. Nobody in this thread made a diagnosis. They told OP to see a doctor because of their concerns.
Here is what your argument boils down to:
1 is a laughable argument because if this were a post about a physical condition, like a weird bump, it would definitely be acceptable to tell someone to go see a doctor.
2 is basically saying that language shouldn't be inclusive of minority groups because minority groups "have to deal with reality." That is an incredibly ignorant mindset to have, and if that's how you think, I'm genuinely appalled.
If you yourself had ADHD or heavily researched the condition via doctor's presentations or papers, you'd probably understand why people on the internet love to bring it up so much. The diagnostic criteria in some cases (for example, in the DSM-5) is god awful. Many doctors out there dismiss ADHD for stupid reasons like "it's only for children!!" because they don't understand it. There are too many doctors out there who only diagnose based on disproven stereotypes. The end result is a crap-ton of people who are screwed in life because they are ill-fitted to do the same stuff that the majority can do. Said people are screwed until they are 30 or 40 or 50 when they finally encounter a doctor that listens to them and considers something despite it being uncommon.
If you still think telling 800 billion people, "it's reality," is in any way productive and not harmful, I can't help you.
You’re clearly on some crusade and don’t understand simple reason. I have no interest in debate. I replied to OP’s question, not to you. Good bye.
You literally replied to me twice.
How come?
It's like telling a fish to climb a waterfall. All saying "just do it and move on" does is reinforce the idea that the other person isn't good enough.
That is only a slight exaggeration of undiagnosed ADHD. The most unrealistic parts are the length of the first distraction (should be 2 hours max) and the grades (probably around 70%). None of this comes from a lack of trying.
Here's an analogy of how distractions happen. Say that you're at home doing the dishes. 5 minutes later, you teleport about a mile away in a random direction. From then on, you teleport a mile in a random direction every 15 or so seconds. You eventually are teleported back to your house, where you can finally walk back to the kitchen and finish the dishes without teleporting for several minutes.
Usually, we think about a tangentially related topic over and over again until we're so far off that we realize what we're supposed to be doing. This is also one aspect of ADHD - it impacts so many miniscule things that add up to become giant problems.
If you don't think ADHD is a serious concern, you should look up some statistics regarding it. ADHD people have significantly lower life expectancies on average. More seriously, they are 5x more likely to attempt suicide than people without it. Also, people with ADHD are really likely to have other conditions/disorders as well.
You can't will yourself out of having a medical condition.