While the paper is well-written overall, contributions on adaptation of alien technology as well as comparison with state-of-the-art are not made clear.
Authors should consider using TikZ to create the diagrams. My Kindle e-reader had difficulty scaling and displaying the diagrams.
The paper's tone could benefit from more technicality.
The terms "alien", "ET", "technology", and "stuff" have been used ambiguously throughout the paper. The authors should consider including a table of nomenclature.
The experimental results don't appear to provide sufficient statistical significance on how much the mankind's genitalia could be pleased using the alien apparatus. The results would be more conclusive if the application of the apparatus on extraterrestrial genitalia is studied too. This has the additional benefit of avoiding to fall for spurious relationships.