this post was submitted on 28 Aug 2023
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These are all great points and point at something which is unfortunately a difficult barrier to cross - one of culture. Older folks aren't used to doing these, and so many of them end up being resistant. They then realize that their social lives are lacking, and lament not being in the office if they don't otherwise have good social connections outside of the office. It's nice to hear that your work gave it a shot, and it sucks to hear that none of these caught on. I personally have an extremely active social life outside of work, so I've never enjoyed too much small talk or getting to know my coworkers on too deep of a level, but I definitely see many of my fellow coworkers and acquaintances struggling with this kind of problem. As I said before, I think you need to keep opening doors to see which ones work. Which doors work will vary from person to person, and as you likely have already noticed the people who start random conversations on slack are likely the same small group of individuals and it's rough to try and get people who don't normally interact to actually interact.
Hopefully something from the reply ended up being helpful to you to start thinking about the process. As an aside, here's a short list of some questions that are a little bit more personal/substantial than small talk, but are great once you've established a foothold to start to get to know someone and build some trust:
Those are some great conversation starters, and certainly lots of relevant advice. Got a few ideas of my own as well while writing up these replies. Thanks for sharing! We've settled on a hybrid setup now and most of the people I care to talk to are regularly in the office, so I mostly just need to get my ass out of the house. But that's a whole other can of worms to tackle.