Shitty Million Dollar Ideas

The slogan "Meat meets meat"

Probably one of the grossest thoughts I've had this week. It makes me thing about Smosh's Beef 'n Go video from 16 years ago.

Idea: Comedy subscription were you get the setup for free but have to pay for the punch line

#shittymilliondollaridea #comedy @shitty_million_dollar_ideas

Going on a vacation but still need to annoy the people downstairs? Attach a thumper to the floor and know your responsibilities are taken care of

An empty nuclear flask. (Used for transporting nuclear waste) cross-posted from: https://lemmit.online/post/3918471

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/mildlyinteresting by /u/vcjester on 2024-09-14 00:32:51+00:00.

From the makers of demand-priced car rides, concert tickets, and rents comes VariPay, a new Demand Based Salary calculator.

Instead of a fixed salary, employee income will be based on how much work there is to do, and when there is enough work, how efficient they were and how much effort they put into it.

The system is purely driven by AI, so nobody can accuse the vendor of favoritism. It runs continuously 24x7, making instant salary calculation updates no matter where in the world you live.

The service can automatically integrate with the previously announced AutoHR system, so firing and re-hiring replacement workers are handled with minimum friction. Efficiency levels can be charted in units of currency, aggregated worker heart-rate levels, or kilo-teardrops.

It comes with a management dashboard showing the amount of salary saved vs a traditional 'time-based' pay system. It also allows alarms to be set and parameters adjusted to accelerate cost-saving measures. Optional modules dynamically calculate management bonuses and maximize shareholder buybacks.

Optional VR headset so you can get POV handjibbers from your favorite waifu.

FTC: Over $110 million lost to Bitcoin ATM scams in 2023

cross-posted from: https://infosec.pub/post/17077253

​The U.S. Federal Trade Commission (FTC) has reported a massive increase in losses to Bitcoin ATM scams, nearly ten times the amount from 2020 and reaching over $110 million in 2023. [...]

cross-posted from: https://lemm.ee/post/41186922

Only with a certified Crumbgrabber^tm^ skull can you be 100 percent satisfied with your purchase! All our skulls are vegan, macrobiotic and chock full of vitamins and minerals!

Build your downline with confidence we will be around for decades to come!

cross-posted from: https://lemm.ee/post/39821737

With over 2,648,948 urinals around the world the time is ripe for a new transformative business model using blockchain and realtime scores automatically posted on social media. We hope to go full on Idiocracy and get Youtube and Reddit to partner on realtime posting of all videos. Can't miss. Get in on the first initial capital raise of 300 billion, which will allow you to access the NFT's and URUCOIN(tm) We promise no rug pulls this time. Act NOW!

cross-posted from: https://lemmit.online/post/3694441

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/mildlyinteresting by /u/cndvsn on 2024-08-16 13:31:24+00:00.

Create a backwards Lemmy that only has below 0 rated posts, and companies pay to be excluded from the site.

Bonus: use mark to market accounting like the great Enron.

I feel like this works on multiple fronts.

1. It gives off big tough guy targeted shirt energy that's bound to give them a rush beyond what a white Monster can offer and will surely impress the waitress at Chili's.

Example of the targeted shirts I'm talking about:

2. It hits people with the anger than immediately follows up with the confusion. "Shouldn't the mom be riding them?" "Is this implying my mom is into pegging?"
3. Harley Davidson is the Supreme of middle aged dads and they'll buy whatever has their logo.

Maybe there could be a whole line of bee theft protection gear. Imagine a subwoofer that plays a low buzzing sound or fake hives for the passenger seat.

An AI-powered wearable system tracks the 3D movement of smart pills in the gut

cross-posted from: https://lemm.ee/post/33835948

New business plan-break into the museum, steal the T-rex, add colored lights and Trumps voice using AI, and make doom predictions with it until the ransom is paid. cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/16184904

Based on the size of the tibia, experts estimate the dino was 13 to 15 years old when it died and likely weighed around 3,500 pounds (1,587.57 kilograms)—about two-thirds of the size of a full-grown adult.

Ultimately, a Black Hawk helicopter airlifted the plaster-clad mass to a waiting truck to drive it to the Denver museum.

Lyson said more than 100 individual T. rex fossils have been unearthed, but many are fragmentary. It is unclear yet how complete this fossil is. So far, they know they have found a leg, hip, pelvis, a couple of tailbones and a good chunk of the skull.

The public will get to watch crews chip away the rock, which the museum estimates will take about a year.