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None of us can objectively enter this third person perspective in the present or the future easily. In my mind I can picture something like a computer game. It could be Mario, Zelda, Warcraft; any game where the player controls the character from a third person perspective.

Once you have this image in your mind; yourself on a screen in a game, it is not much more of an abstraction to change characters in the game. Now, in the game you write the narrative of your ideal partner; the person you are hoping this meet. Put yourself into the mind of that character like you've been playing as them in this game of life every day for years. What are your goals, where are you at in life, what do you want and need out of that relationship, etc.; become them in abstract within your mind.

Now, insert an encounter between the ideal partner you are playing and your inner self in this game. You hit it off well and enjoy spending time together. After a few casual dates, things evolve into feelings. Your game character gets to the point of infatuated addiction when suddenly the opposing character tells you that they have plans to leave the area, and that they had known about this all along.

I can't continue this story for you without inserting my biases (more than I already have). Only you can answer if this kind of situation would bother you in practice. I am telling you that, the only way to know what is right or wrong for you, is if you can be objectively honest with yourself and assess the situation from a third person narrative perspective. If you can step back and say, "if someone did this to me, it would not bother me at all" then go ahead and do it. If the opposite is true, you will feel guilty in the end because your emotions and logic are in conflict. That inner conflict will eventually manifest as an external issue, likely through a mechanism called cognitive dissonance until it is resolved.

I had a particularly hard time with the feelings you have mentioned; feeling that need to be in a relationship. It was more of an issue when I was in my early to mid twenties (in my late 30's now). I think a lot of that feeling of need is the withdraw that accompanies shifting from life in school to adult life. I really wish someone had been able to tell me that humans are not cognitively fully formed until age 25 when the prefrontal cortex is fully formed. That is one factor, while introversion and extraversion are another major contributor. I'm introverted, so it is easier for me to be independent. I still have social needs, but I can fill those with places like here. Anyways, in retrospect, the person I was in my early to mid twenties, the one that thought he needed a relationship to be happy, he didn't actually know himself very well. He was looking for himself in the wrong places. The things he learned that allowed him to mature and grow were many, but some were, an enjoyable daily exercise routine, a regular reading habit, and allowing his curiosity to run wild into interests.

I could spend hours writing about that journey, but in a sentence, this is where I found myself and who I really am. The growth that came from this chapter of my life was immense and I am so glad that I wasn't struggling through that with someone else that may have had a shorter book or some different chapters in life. What I'm trying to say is that, you may find yourself in a similar vain if you take the time to get to know yourself.

Everything in life is just brain chemistry. In other words, everything about the human experience is a managed addiction. From the food you eat, to your circadian rhythm, to work, play, cleaning, reading, and relationships, it is all fundamentally a managed addiction. Your metabolic rate and its day to day average consistency will determine a lot about how you feel. If you engage in an endurance exercise daily, it will largely remove several inconsistencies related to what when and how you eat and sleep. This will balance hormones and becomes a major endorphin source. For me it was cycling, and still is in limited form. That will give you the emotional independence you need in order to explore yourself more. It takes 2 months to work your way into a solid routine that will then slowly shift and become harder to quit than it is to continue.

You do you. I'm just telling you what worked for me and explaining it like I am talking to my former self, and assuming you are of a similar age and mind. Those are big assumptions, so sorry if they miss the mark.

Judging by the numbers on ml and what I know from various instances, I bet we are peaking at less than 5k active daily users. Of those probably 1/3 - 1/2 are actual daily users and the rest are weekly or monthly users. It is that last set weekly/monthly users that are published as total numbers. This is inflated to our perspective as a regular community. How many times do you see an interaction a week or month after a post you've made? I certainly don't see many. So to me that implies all of these folks are primarily lurkers. If that assumption is mostly correct, we have to split our numbers around the world in order to account for how many people are present at any one time.

If we take all that into consideration, those of us that are on regularly at routine times are likely interacting with the same few hundred people daily. The best we can do is be there for each other for support and ready for anyone new that wishes to join the community.

Honestly, I don't think this is all that different than most social media platforms. Like for a long time the Newpipe app would show a view count they were scraping from the YT website and showing it in the view history. Everything I watch was at like 5-15 views despite never watching anything more than once. I fully expect that was the number YT publishes for each view (every person is 5-15 views). I fully expect all of these social reward metrics like views and votes are fudged and they are all smaller communities than the claims.

If we are so small on Lemmy, that means most of the avid users are watching the All feed. That makes the probability of seeing any given post even lower because if the person was not on within a 6-12-24 hour window of the post, they are unlikely to see it.

I view all of us more like a large collective with mostly superficial communities. I'm happy you're here, and anyone else that wants to be positive and build community.