bready2die

This sounds very similar to my experience! For context, I’m a binary trans woman, and I (now) identify as bisexual! Before questioning my gender, I knew I was attracted to men but the idea of dating a man didn’t feel right, so I kinda gaslit myself into believing I was straight. With the power of hindsight I know that what actually didn’t feel right was the idea of being a man dating a man. The idea of being a woman dating a man, on the other hand, does feel right to me!

I wish you the best of luck on your journey of self-discovery! It’s a long and arduous road but it’s so worth it!

Thank you for the kind words king <3

Been a shit week tbh. Depression is kicking my ass (again), I still haven’t gotten a job after literal months of applying, I haven’t seen any of my friends in months, and I’m losing my health insurance soon. Feels like nothing in my life is going well right now 🫠

The first time I heard the phrase “do I want to be with her or do I want to be her” was a major holy shit moment for me. It made me realize that my relationship with the concept of “attraction” was way more complicated than I thought. At that moment, I had a realization that what I thought was attraction to women is actually a mix of both attraction and envy, and the reason I had always denied my attraction to men is that the idea of being in a mlm relationship made me unbearably dysphoric

Do you want dead kids? Because this is how you get dead kids.

Absolutely true, internalized transphobia is kinda the default unfortunately. I didn’t even recognize it in myself until I started actively exploring my identity

I’ve used endeavour as my daily driver for the last year, it’s been great for me. Highly recommend regular backups though, as it’s a bleeding edge rolling release distro, so more likely to break unexpectedly than ubuntu

Presentation does not equal identity!

Ugh, job websites are unbearable. Filtering through all the lies and bullshit is so draining

I came out almost immediately for a couple reasons:

• my mental health was total garbage and boymoding was literally unbearable

• I knew that most of my friends and family were pretty accepting and open minded

• I lived in a very diverse and accepting city at the time

• this was during the height of Covid restrictions so nobody was going out anyway

Basically the discomfort of hiding my true self overrode the fear of being openly and visibly trans lol

Fortunately everyone I came out to was really positive about it. I was prepared to cut out a few of my extended family members if it came to that, but thankfully I didn’t need to

The only thing I wish could have gone differently is that I stayed in the closet at work. I had some problematic coworkers so I didn’t feel safe being openly trans there. Unsurprisingly I didn’t last long at that job lol

Fun fact since one of my ears doesn’t work I can’t echolocate :’)))

gamer(s)