MuhammadJesusGaySex

I came here because Reddit is changing, and I don’t like it. I’m generally helpful. But if someone is being an idiot, or a bigot. I want to point and laugh at them if I so choose.

For a while the content on Reddit has been lacking, and people (myself included) are having to watch what they say. I wanted to find a place where I can generally be helpful and share my “old person knowledge”, but if someone’s being an a not great human being. I don’t have to be afraid to tell them so.

The biggest problem that I see with Lemmy is the sign up process. If someone were to ask me to explain to them how to sign up. I’m not sure I could. Like I googled “how to create Lemmy account”. I found a Reddit post that offered a list of Lemmy instances. The first like 3 I tried didn’t work.

When I finally found one that let me create a login. The rest was pretty easy. Honestly, since getting here I enjoy Lemmy more than Reddit these days. I don’t quite have my news dialed in like I want yet, but I’ll get there.

Anyway, that’s my two cents as a new user.

I like what I call “sturdy” or “hearty” women.

This! But also, trans women have taught me that dicks aren’t a deal breaker. Sure, it might not be my first choice, but if she’s hot. Well, you know the old saying.

If a bear’s hungry. He’ll eat.

That was a roller coaster of amazing. Bravo good sir/madam.

I had a dream the other day that myself and others were being pursued by government assassins. I proclaimed that I wasn’t afraid of them. The people I was with said that nothing bad would happen to me because I didn’t live there.

Right then a bunch of guys in suits burst in and grab the people that I was with. They held me down and made me watch as they force fed poison to the people I was with.

I watched in horror as pink foam came from their moths and they flopped around on the floor. Obviously in pain. They made gurgling sounds through the foam.

Right then my partner woke me up to say she was going to work. I had only been asleep for an hour and a half. My heart was pounding from what I had just witnessed. There was no way I could go back to sleep after that.

I have a question about cat people. Does their pee smell like cat pee? Because it’s inescapable. When you pee a little residue is left behind.

So, you pick up a cat person at a bar. Take them home and have wild sex all weekend. Then you show up to work on Monday, and everyone knows what you’ve been up to. Because you reek of cat piss.

Sure you showered, but you can’t wash off cat piss smell. No, you have to wear it off. It stays with you.

I can’t wait for society to collapse. Because, I want to see what a human steak tastes like. Assuming I survive the initial downfall.

You’d normally be right, but unfortunately I had to give it up. It makes me all paranoid and stuff. It’s no fun. I still think it should be legal everywhere though.

They forgot video games.

I have lived in Florida twice. The first time was from the age of 5 to 7. My mom kidnapped me and ran away to Florida. She died when I was 7 and I had to move back in with my dad.

The second time. My first wife and I moved there for a couple of years. A lot of crazy things happened while we lived there. Here’s a taste.

A friend got too drunk at a bar. So I carried her from the bathroom to the car. Then I drove her home. Carried her to her room and put her in her bed and tucked her in. When I got back to the car I realized she had shit on me and in my car.

I went to a bar with a guy from work. We got drunk, and this hot older chick started talking to us. She introduces “her boys” which I thought were her homies, her friends, ya know her boys, and invited us to hang out with them. My friend accepted and he was my ride. Sooooooo, we wind up at their house. “Her boys” were her sons, and one of their wives comes out the bedroom pissed that we woke her up. Then outside mom gets naked in the pool and “her boys” were just like “yup that’s my mom… naked”

Fuck that cess pit. The whole god damn state is cursed.

I like to wipe my butt with things that I have to hand to people. Cashier gets a tude with me. I politely hand them ass money. Have to pay a ticket. I rub it on my butthole first. That’s how I exact my revenge.

Every time one of these murders happens I watch the video. I do it because I feel a responsibility to witness the actions. That way when someone tries to lie to me later and tell me it didn’t happen, or it is excused because the victim did this I can say with a clear conscience that they are wrong.

But, I don’t know how many more men I can watch die while calling out for their mothers.