DreamyRin

thank you so much!

I really appreciate the admins for making such a good space. and for you saying that, I really enjoy being here. I'll be making some new threads soon!

mine is actually something I learned about in therapy. wet a washcloth with cold water, then put ice cubes in it. there are various places you can put it to cool down (inner part of your elbow, neck, lower back, etc.) but the first one I was taught was actually the pulse point under your chin, because it also serves a purpose of calming you down. if you're angry or anxious, it might help, on top of cooling you off.

a second thing that I've done is, before bed, putting my comforter and/or my pillowcase in the freezer. only really works depending on size of the freezer and comforter, though.

I had a lot of responses to one of my more recent posts asking about linux distros, which was really nice and interesting to see what people said. I'll keep that in mind for future posts, thank you for the reply!

it's not honestly a beehaw issue, if that helps! I'm just a very anxious and insecure person in general, and I very rarely have engaged in online spaces. beehaw has been the first place I've felt safe enough to start trying to, after a series of bad discord servers.

y'all have a lovely place here, and I'm happy to be along for it!

but I feel like I should be doing better.

I have these kinds of thoughts often. but it's not a good way to think about things, as in, at least it's always been damaging to me. you shouldn't invalidate your own feelings. if you're not doing "better," that's okay. you don't have to be perfect just because nothing catastrophic happened. or because you feel like if you pushed yourself harder things would be significantly better.

procrastination is never for no reason, and as you said, you feel like a lot is at stake. you have a lot going on! and unfortunately, no one has instructions that will make the nebulous "don't get it wrong" voice go away. it sucks. I know that feeling, and I empathize.

what's helped me is to sit down, preferably with someone I trust and who respects my emotions, and make a little "plan." not a full one where I have x, y, and z plus an emergency one, but just something that will make me feel like the world isn't going to crash down around me at any moment. for example, I had to sort out with my partner what we would do if amazon rejected a return I made because money is tight. even just knowing the future isn't a mysterious void had helped me.

additionally, my only safe space is also my room where I live. I don't know what your living space looks like, but things that have helped me is buying something small to decorate it and make it feel more like my own, possibly getting a small living plant (I have aloe and haworthia, they're very easy to take care of and it sparks a little joy when I see them growing), or even just tidying up a bit, or moving things around so that they're not in the exact same place. when I feel claustrophobic and confined to my room, I try to go on walks (weather permitting!) to remind myself there is space that is safe outside of the house. listening to music or podcasts helps me too, if that's something you also like. I try for at least twice a week and find myself walking more than expected because it's nice to have that break.

I wish you good luck on the cake! and apologies if none of this helps. I just feel like our situations have some things in common and wanted to reach out with what solutions I have for myself.

I hope things get easier for you soon!

honestly I wasn't going to watch these and then I started to and now I have to watch all of them. Jauwn is genuinely entertaining and that's always a nice find for me.

thank you for sharing!

I love the game, but I like extremely slow progress, so I use mods and modify the wealth multiplier(?) as well in the vanilla to make it more challenging. I also really love mods that add content, and there are quite a few out there! it's annoying to always update mods manually (as compared to the steam workshop) but I did really enjoy when I was playing with my partner and we had 30+ mods!

a family member who I'm close to who also plays Stardew Valley likes to refer to me playing "Dark Souls Stardew Valley" which I thought was funny, especially because I'm terrible at Dark Souls.

overall I really like the game on it's own. it helps that ConcernedApe has kept adding to it even though he absolutely doesn't have to (it's a big game as it is!) and I appreciate him for that. I do get a tiny bit stressed about the timer on days (notably when I'm playing with someone else and they're really stretching the time thin) but it's a very, very small thing. I had never played Harvest Moon or any other farming sim games before SDV, so I have no point to compare, but I just really appreciate the game being chill and a change of pace from games I'd usually play, that are almost entirely based on combat.

welp, time to explain why I don't have a desktop after my post two weeks ago that I had to put new parts in.

the short version is that the motherboard's AMD bracket was covered mostly by a plastic piece that said "REMOVE" so I did that, but it wasn't clear that I was supposed to put it back on. ultimately when I kept trying to put things together and they didn't work, some of the motherboard's CPU pins got crushed, and now I have to hope I can get another. I'm trying to return it to amazon and use the money for a second one, but we'll see how that goes. the CPU itself might be damaged too, it's not clear, and I have no way of testing it without the motherboard. I feel really dumb for not knowing that the bracket was supposed to go there. and I can't just buy a new one right now because being on disability sucks.

originally I thought it had been the RAM since I was told the motherboard was finnicky with it, but I had to take two sets of it back after I found out it was the motherboard. thankfully my cousin looked at it and is willing to put things together for me again. it's just waiting on amazon is killing me. I spend a lot of time at my desktop (especially because it's going to be over 90 degrees here for a while) and my laptop is a low end gaming one from 6 years ago. it can't run much, including my favorite game, although I can play it for very short periods of time. I broke out my nintendo switch to play, but that's not helping the depression too much.

some issues with my partner popped up, as well as some with my mother, and I just don't feel great. been trying to do what I can for that (like making some posts here) but it's a battle and I wish I didn't have to have it. I hope the week improves but I'm just tired already.

I didn't particularly like the layout styling in Pop!_OS and being so new to linux, I didn't know how much I could change aesthetics wise. KDE looks more appealing to me, I don't know if it's because it looks like windows, but that might be a factor? it's the default on the distro I wanna give a try (Bazzite) which also has nudged me in that direction.

I wasn't expecting so many people to have used Debian for things other than servers. I have it on a server myself, but I decided I needed something more set up for gaming already on my desktop. what led you to Debian specifically? the stability?

I'm late but I really wish more people knew what a "queer platonic partner" relationship was.

I usually just use "partner" for my QPP because it's easier than to even briefly explain, but just because I'm asexual aromantic doesn't mean I don't want a relationship that "stands out" more than the others. and just because I do, doesn't mean every ace/aro person does! there's so much nuance to the LGBTQ+ community and I think people forget that a lot and choose to isolate to their spot in the acronym.

a QPP isn't someone you're dating, and I'm really tired of people talking about my "girlfriend" (because let's also ignore that they're non-binary!) alternative relationships exist to the typical "path" and assumptions plus choosing to not learn is really damaging. and that goes for every LGBTQ+ topic. or, hell, the nuance to every individual person.

I just want to drop a link to queer platonic relationships specifically, too.

thank you for the tip!! I didn't even notice it had a steam workshop, hahaha. I got the mod, so hopefully things go a little smoother next time. I have to play on controller currently which is a bit weird but I'm hoping I get used to it.

this is actually what I'm going to be giving a go! I have very little experience (I have servers that run Debian and DietPi, but I get help with those) with linux but I'm really excited to give the KDE version a try. and I've been trying to learn, too, because also my partner is going to be moving to a dual boot setup as well. been watching a lot of videos and reading a lot too, especially while my desktop is out of commission.

do you find that anything is missing in Bazzite for you?